@xformbob Honestly, I really respect that approach. The fact that you care so much about whether a character’s actions feel true to who they are probably explains why your stories feel believable, even in unusual situations.
And I actually think that hesitation about “speaking for” characters, especially women, can sometimes make the writing stronger because it shows you’re thinking about their perspective instead of forcing them into the plot.
The irony you mentioned is kind of fascinating too
caring too much about the characters to make them violate themselves for the sake of convenience probably means you’d write a really character-driven longer story if you ever decided to try one.
Now I’m genuinely curious, have you ever had a character surprise you while writing like you planned for them to react one way, but once you started writing, it suddenly felt wrong for them?