Out of their Element

[littlest-lily]

@tinyborrower Thank you so much! Yeah, she kinda has a lot going on there Lots more sizzling and simmering ahead!

[littlest-lily]

Chapter 12
Evie

“Sorry, what’s the word you’re standing on?”

“Oh, my bad!” I exclaim, taking a few steps to the side to get out of the way. Aiden’s a faster reader than I am, although that might be because the letters are so much bigger to me. He doesn’t seem bothered by me walking all over his textbook, though.

"So, the tri… car… boxylic cycle and the krebs cycle are the same thing?” I ask, having to take a few steps forward to look back to an earlier passage.

"I think so? Yeah, that’s what it says here. And it’s also called the citric cycle. Why call it so many things…”

There’s a large diagram at the bottom of the page that shows all the steps of said cycle, going in a big circle. I walk along the circumference a few times, trying and failing to memorize the steps. Aiden watches me with amusement for a minute before saying, “Let me know when you’re ready for the next page.”

“I’m ready,” I immediately say, giving up on the futile attempt to memorize the chemicals. I dart over to the edge of the textbook and hop to the floor - and by that I mean the actual floor today.

My giant roommate spent the better part of our Sunday cleaning the apartment between homework assignments. So then when we decided to study together in the evening, he took advantage of the cleaner space to spread his papers on the floor and bring me down there to join him.

How many more things are going to be new discoveries for me? It’s a whole other world this far down. I never would have thought I’d prefer seeing a huge drop beyond the horizon of the desk compared to everything around me stretching so high up instead, the ceiling twice as far away. It’s especially disconcerting when Aiden leaves to get a quick drink of water.

I almost fall over backwards as he rises into the air, looking more skyscraper-like than ever before, and I can feel every one of his footsteps as they shake the ground. It’s humbling to know the earthquakes would be imperceptible to anyone else on the planet. I can’t see him over the kitchen island either, which is unsettling as I hear the echoing sounds of shuffling and water filling a cup, and I’m instinctively wanting to crawl underneath the cover of the textbook for shelter. Instead I stand there trembling as I wait this out.

Aiden approaching is even more intense than him leaving, and for a moment I’m just staring at his massive feet thundering like heavy machinery. Trying to desperately convince myself that I’m not about to get stepped on, I force my head to lift towards his face again.

As he crouches he gets close enough to see my expression and can clearly tell how pale I am. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he says as he kneels, looking around for whatever gave me such a fright. “Everything alright?”

“Yes,” I squeak promptly, “I’m good.”

“Oh wait,” he looks back at me with a little frown and sits on his heels, hunching lower to try and make himself look smaller. “It’s probably from me towering over you like that, isn’t it? I’m sorry. I really don’t think things through sometimes…”

“It’s okay, Aiden,” I say with a smile and a bit more confidence this time. He definitely means well. And I need to not be so scared of every little thing. It’s only day five. We’ll get there.

He goes back to laying on his stomach, propped up on his elbows as we resume studying. I return to my spot on the textbook, my heartrate still settling. Together we continue trying to figure out the krebs cycle.

Soon it’s time to turn the page again, and this time as I hop off the book, I ponder our setup. After a moment of thought I call up to my friend, “Could I try sitting on your shoulder? Then I won’t be in the way and it’ll probably be easier for me to read.”

“Yeah, sure thing. Upsy-daisy…”

His fingers slip onto either side of me and I grip them tightly as he gives me a boost. It’s another new environment, the broad expanse of his shoulder. I instinctively start huddling towards his head since I’m now high enough that I want something to hold onto to feel secure. As I scooch from his shirt to his skin, I notice that little bumps are appearing on the back of his neck. I hope I’m not tickling him too much.

“This alright?” I ask. For once I actually don’t need to project so much since his ear is so close.

“Mm-hmm." He sounds unbothered so I settle in. It’s definitely much easier to read from up here.

We stay like this for another forty minutes or so, and I’m starting to really struggle staying engaged. Studying for school was never really my strong suit, especially from textbooks like this. I always learned better by doing, or at the very least by listening to someone explain things.

“So pyruvic acid ferments to become lactic acid, right?” I ask, suppressing a yawn, “Which is… what exactly?”

“You’re getting it. Lactic acid is that stuff that makes your legs feel like rocks after a five hour hike.”

“Right… Oh yeah, that reminds me!” I pipe up excitedly at his word choice, giving his neck a little shove. “You never showed me your rock collection.”

Aiden chuckles at my obvious desire for a distraction, shaking me a bit in the process. "Want to take a break?”

“I really do.”

“Yeah, me too. Okay, hang on tight.”

I turn to straddle his neck, bracing my fingers and toes against his skin as if hugging a giant tree trunk. For extra assurance, I reach up to a lock of dark hair that dangles just within my reach. Once I let him know I’m set, the giant carefully pushes himself up to crouching and then standing, moving slowly and with a hand at the ready to catch me if I slip. I keep thinking we must have reached the apex of his height but we continue going up, up, up…

From the lowest of lows to the highest of highs. I’ve never been in a helicopter but I imagine it feels somewhat like this. It’s like I’m looking down at a canyon. And then I think about how Aiden’s eye level is even higher up.

He walks over to his bedroom with me along for the ride, heading to a shelf in the back corner. He holds very still as he briefly takes his hovering hand away, grabbing a shoebox that he settles under his arm before the protective hand quickly returns. I feel pretty confident I’m not about to fall off, but his diligence is comforting nevertheless.

It’s funny how he’s already gotten so used to me hanging around and seems so comfortable with our interactions. I guess it makes sense that it’d be easier to get accustomed to being around a tiny person than a giant one. But still, he’s taking the transition to having an unexpected (and unconventional) roommate quite well.

We’re back at the desk now and Aiden drops me off directly onto my bed so that I can be comfortable. I sit there cross-legged, watching as he opens the cardboard box and begins digging amongst the rocks.

“So did you find these yourself?” I ask.

“Some of them. Like this one… It’s literally just a big pebble from the yard at the first house I lived in. Oh and this is from the second house, but you see that? It’s actually a fossil. I think it was some kind of snail. Kinda crazy that it was in my own backyard.”

He places each of them down near me in turn and I lean forward from my spot on the bed, genuinely curious.

“Most of these are gifts, though. Rocks and minerals kinda became my thing, so it was a go-to present idea for people. Like this jasper,” he puts down a reddish stone that’s almost as big as I am, “my uncle gave this to me when he was visiting for my eighth birthday. He thought it’d be funny since my last name’s Jasper. And this,” he sets down a black one, “is a meteorite my dad brought back from his time in Australia.”

I hop off of the bed now and approach the growing array of his collection. I’ve never really paid attention to rocks before. But hearing how Aiden comes to life as he talks, I can’t help but get sucked in. I meander between the boulders like I’m at a museum.

“I’ve got a few geodes and agates – this one’s probably my favorite since I found it myself when rockhounding in Arizona. That was home number four.”

I look up at him at this point. “Sounds like you moved around a lot growing up, huh?”

“Yup. Military family. My parents were both in the Navy.”

“We have that in common. Not the military part, just the moving.”

“Kinda sucks, huh? Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t wait to put down roots somewhere.”

“No… It’s not just you. I feel the same.”

I zigzag between the pyrite, the petrified wood, the rose quartz, the polished amber. Each one of them has a story, scattered fragments of Aiden’s life. One of the geodes is only half as big as I am, and I sit down so I can peer into it, marveling at the gorgeous purple crystals inside.

“I actually can’t quite remember where I got that one,” Aiden muses, leaning his cheek on his hand as he smiles down at me. “I think I got it early on, when I was first deciding I wanted to start a collection. Probably just spent my allowance on it at a tourist shop.”

“It’s so pretty…” I say, reaching out to feel one of the smooth amethyst facets. “Would you mind keeping it here on the desk?”

“Of course not!” He grins, clearly pleased that I’ve taken such an interest. “That’s right, I need to find a place to display them all.”

“Is there any room on that?” I wonder, pointing at the squat brown shelf that’s near the desk, opposite to the couch. It looks to be pretty full of books but there might be some space in front of them.

“Well, I don’t have anything on top of the shelf… Plus I could see them easily if I put them there. Good idea, Evie.” He picks up the geode I’d been staring at. “This one stays here with you though.” His hand glides over to my area, repositioning the rock towards the back of the desk so that it’s visible without being in the way.

Having wandered from one living space to the next, home decor is never something I could really afford to have. As I take in the look of the crystals, adding a welcome air of fantasy to the area, I decide that I’d like to change that.

“That reminds me,” Aiden says abruptly, “Be right back.”

He disappears around the corner into his bedroom, and when he returns I’m surprised to see him holding my plush lion.

“I’ve been thinking this could maybe help you feel like you’re in your own space,” he says, and he sets the stuffed animal on the windowsill that’s just behind the desk, so that the lion’s top half is well in view to watch over me. It’s as if Aiden had heard my thoughts about decorating.

“What do you think?” he asks.

I gaze up at the fluffy feline face that has been by my side through many a challenge. “Perfect,” I say with a big smile.

Aiden’s expression softens and he slowly slides a hand towards me. I turn to face it, feeling a little wary but mostly curious. He gently touches the top of my head with his index finger, barely putting on any pressure as he gives it a little pat.

“Welcome home, roomie,” he murmurs.

I blush all over.

At this point it’s almost bedtime so we give up on doing any more studying. Aiden puts the rocks back into the box so that he can relocate them to their new spot on the shelf. I stare after him quietly, feeling anxiety bubble inside of me. End-of-weekend dread isn’t something that has ever really affected me since going to school was a welcome escape from my home life and my work schedule has always been all over the place. But right now I hate that tomorrow’s Monday.

We say good night and I drag myself over to the water tank to brush my teeth. I don’t plan on taking a full-on bath tonight… I’ll have plenty of time by myself tomorrow, after all.

I turn off the desk lamp and slide into bed. Absently I run my hand over the dog-shaped logo of my blanket that used to adorn Aiden’s shirt once upon a time, and I gaze at the moonlight that stretches across the surface of the desk. I stare and stare and stare and sleep continues to slip away from me…

“Come on,” I whisper to myself in frustration. “He’s done with school at four. No big deal.” It’s not like he’s never left the apartment before. But I guess in my mind it’s a big jump going from a couple of hours alone to the majority of the day.

I feel so pathetic. Here I’ve been so adamantly wishing to be autonomous, to not bother him so much. I simmer in self loathing for a little while before I bolt upright, suddenly struck by an idea.

I go turn on the lamp again, hoping I don’t attract Aiden’s attention from the other room. I grab onto my makeshift pencil, step onto the giant notepad… and I start writing.

[Olo]

@littlest-lily

It’s only day five. We’ll get there.

Get where, exactly?

[littlest-lily]

@Olo Where indeed? (Hopefully to a point where she’s at least not constantly terrified of everything lol)

[miss-lillipants]

@littlest-lily said in Out of their Element:

“Mm-hmm." He sounds unbothered so I settle in.

Narrator: “He was very bothered.”

[littlest-lily]

@miss-lillipants I never know if I’m being too subtle or not subtle enough so I’m always glad when something has the intended effect lol

[littlest-lily]

Chapter 13
Aiden

As soon as I open my eyes I let out an involuntary groan and a wave of sadness hits me so hard that I almost choke on it. Whoa. Where did that come from? Did I just have a nightmare?

It takes me a minute, but as I come to, I realize that no… I’m just really dreading going back to class. Part of it is this protective worrying of leaving Evie alone for that long. But the other part is a bit more selfish. We’ve spent the better part of a week together at this point and I can’t hide from myself the fact that I’ve become infatuated with her presence. I just love having her around… for various reasons. I don’t want to wake up from this dream.

I berate myself for being so dramatic. What’s the alternative, giving up on work and school so I can sit around and stare at her all day? We’ll still get to spend plenty of time hanging out. Maybe this is a good thing, maybe she needs a bit of space for all I know. I do think she’s enjoying our new friendship. But I also know I can be overwhelming to be around, whether I like it or not.

It takes me another minute to drag myself out of bed, and it feels like I have weights chained to my ankles as I quietly go get ready. I’m dressed and groomed when I come out to the living room, and I notice Evie’s already up, waiting for me near the edge of the desk.

“Hey you!” I call out to her before I approach, “Did you need something? I was about to figure out what to do for breakfast.”

“I was hoping to take you up on your offer and join you in the kitchen today!” she calls back. It’s fascinating how I swear my hearing has gotten better to compensate for her tiny voice.

I cock my head to the side curiously, although I’m reflexively already starting to reach my hand out towards her. “Were you wanting something in particular? I’m starting to run a little low on supplies, I’ll need to do a grocery run tomorrow.”

“But you’ve got a banana, right?” she asks as she steps onto my fingers, pointing towards the kitchen counter, where one lone fruit sits in plain view.

“Right…”

“And eggs?”

I close my fingers around her bottom half as I lift her up. “Yeah, I think I still have a few.”

“Then we can make pancakes.”

I pause, blinking at her. “That’s all we need?”

She gives me the cutest little smirk. “That’s all we need.”

“Huh. Show me your magic then, little pixie.”

As I’m about to find out, the recipe she has in mind is so simple that she could have just told me what to do and I could have done it alone. But I have zero qualms with having her nearby. Well, just one qualm… I feel really nervous about turning the gas stove on with her in the vicinity.

“I’ll be careful,” she assures me, catching my worried expression as I set her down on the counter. “Or I could ride on your shoulder if that makes you feel better?”

I recall what it was like to have her sitting against my neck yesterday. The subtle weight of her had given me goosebumps and her warmth was so wonderfully comforting. She had reminded me of a little bird again and I loved every second of it. The idea is very tempting now.

“But if I’m cooking I’ll have my hands full and wouldn’t be able to catch you if you fall,” I fret begrudgingly, then quickly I add, “Not that I think you can’t hang on, it’s just, you know, if I move too quickly by accident…”

“I gotcha. I’ll be fine right here,” she says with a soothing tone. Ugh, am I going to miss seeing that smile today.

"Alright, captain,” I say playfully, “what are your orders?”

She puts her hands on her hips, bending slightly at the waist. "Okay, listen closely. We’re going to need one bowl.”

"One bowl,” I echo dutifully, bending down to a cabinet and fetching a medium-sized glass bowl. I set it down near her, and she takes a step back, her confident demeanor faltering slightly as she takes in the giant receptacle.

"R-right. Okay, next we need a fork.”

I nod and repeat the order, fishing the utensil out of a drawer.

"Now you’re going to mash up a banana, mix in two eggs… and you’ve got your pancake batter.”

"It’s seriously that simple?” I ask with a laugh, stepping over to the fridge to get the eggs.

"Yup. I mean, it’ll be more like sweet omelets, but it’s always been an easy go-to for me.”

"Now, we’re not out of the woods yet,” I say as I start peeling the banana, “You might be severely overestimating my ability to flip these pancakes. We may be getting sweet scrambled eggs instead.”

“I believe in you, Aiden.”

I start prepping then, mashing up the fruit as Evie recounts how she figured out this recipe. I notice that when I crack the first egg against the rim of the bowl she jumps at the ringing sound, so I make sure to tap the other one against the opposite side of the counter instead to make the noise less jarring. She looks embarrassed about this but thanks me anyway. I’m more than happy to learn all the ways I can adjust to make my shrunken friend more comfortable.

She thankfully gives the stove a wide berth as I fry up the egg disks - since I keep the pancakes small I’m able to flip them easily enough. As I start piling the finished product onto a plate, my little commander showers me with praise, to a clearly condescending extent, and we have a good laugh over it. I hope this can start being a regular thing. It’s a lot more fun than the usual me tossing something together for the sake of sustenance.

I have a brief moment of panic when I finish making the food and go to pick up the plate - I suddenly notice Evie’s not on the counter anymore, and when I look around I realize she’s sitting on the plate that I’m holding.

“Oh my god, warn me next time,” I say with a relieved exhale, “I didn’t notice you climbing on.”

“Sorry,” she responds, and she’s acting like she’s completely fine but I can tell that the way I picked up the dish was a little rougher than she was anticipating. “I thought I was being loud. But now that I’ve said it I realize how stupid that sounds.”

I smile and carefully start walking with her still crouched on the plate. “It’s all good. Just always assume you’re about twenty times more discreet than you mean to be.” And I need to make sure I constantly know where she is. Noted.

I drop everything off at the desk and then go grab fresh water and some leftovers for her to have for lunch before I forget. Then we settle into breakfast, since I have a little bit of time before I need to leave. These sweet banana-egg-disc things really aren’t so bad, and pretty healthy too.

“I thought you said you don’t eat breakfast foods?” I tease, waving in her general direction with my fork.

“Yeah, I’d make this for dinner,” she retorts, and I laugh.

“You said you’ve been cooking since you were pretty young, yeah? What got you interested in it?”

Evie seems to stiffen at this. She takes her time chewing, looking deep in thought. Then she swallows and says hesitantly, “When I was a kid, my mom wasn’t a very, um… active person in my life, I guess? And my dad died when I was really young so I had to grow up a little bit faster than most kids. I got tired of getting food poisoning all the time so I eventually tried making my own food. I wasn’t the best at it when I was six, but I eventually got the hang of it.”

I’d just speared more food on my fork but freeze in place as I stare at her. “Six?”

“Maybe I’m exaggerating, I can’t really remember. Sorry, I don’t mean to start complaining about my childhood. It made me stronger and stuff, so it’s all good.”

I watch as she closes in on herself and it’s obvious she’s not sharing nearly as much as she could be. What kind of parent leaves a six year old to fend for themselves?

“It’s okay, you can complain,” I say cautiously, wanting to neither dismiss nor pry into what might be a sensitive subject. “I’m all ears whenever you need to vent about something." Evie sits there quietly, still looking very uncomfortable, so after a moment I try to diffuse things instead, "Want to hear a messed up story from my childhood?”

She looks up at me with her doe-like eyes and nods silently.

“I wasn’t that young I guess, maybe twelve? My uncle has a pool, and one time when we were visiting, he pretended he was drowning. I freaked out, and I wasn’t able to drag him out of the pool, so I propped him up on the stairs and ran inside screaming for my mom. When we came back out my uncle was sitting up and laughing. Said something about how he wanted me to learn what to do in an emergency.”

Evie’s eyes are much wider now. “That sounds traumatizing!”

“Yeah, it kinda was! My mom yelled at him after that and now it’s a bit of a family joke. At least I found out I could handle myself more or less okay in a crisis, I didn’t totally freeze up. Not something I particularly wanted to find out, though.”

My little roommate is still looking thoughtful, but there’s a soft smile in her gaze now. Finally she says, “I’m glad I got to find out. That you can handle a crisis. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t be here right now. And… I’m glad I’m here.”

I set my fork down and return the smile. “I don’t love the circumstances, but… I’m glad you’re here too.” We hold eye contact for another beat, and then I glance behind me at the clock. “And on that note, I should probably get going.”

“Oh, wait a sec!”

She runs over to the desk lamp, and at the base of it is a small piece of paper, folded into quarters, though even folded up it’s half as big as Evie is. She struggles to lift it up towards me.

“Take this, for later.”

For a moment my chest tightens at what seems to be some kind of gift. I gingerly pinch the paper between my fingertips. “Is it a grocery list?” I joke, pulling out my wallet to store it in one of the credit card slots.

“Nah, just open it when you get to class. Have a good day!”

“Thanks, Evie. You too.”

It’s a struggle then, but there’s no point in dragging this out. I rip myself away, giving her a casual wave as I head out the door.

The cool morning air makes me shiver when I step outside. I make my familiar trek to class, each landmark just the same as it’s always been, and I almost feel like some kind of spy. Pretending to go back to my mundane life, to greet my classmates as if everything was normal, all the while keeping this monumental, insane secret tucked safely away. I feel like I might burst with the weight of it. Fortunately, if I ever did blurt out the truth to anybody, it’s quite literally unbelievable.

As I settle into my first class, I glance around to ensure I have privacy before I eagerly pull out the piece of paper Evie had given me, unfolding it and realizing it’s a letter. The writing is quite small, although I can tell she tried to make it very big so that I can have an easier time reading it.

Hi Aiden!

I just wanted to thank you SO SO much for everything you’ve been doing for me. I wish I could properly put it into words so instead I’ll put it into picture:

Underneath she’s drawn what I surmise is herself, though it’s little more than a stick figure, reaching her arms up with a big goofy smile on her face. I can’t help grinning right back at the sketch, imagining her having to make wide gestures to draw this in what is almost exactly her own size. I take a second to reach my finger up and brush it against the paper, gently stroking the cheek of the 2D Evie in a way I’ve never touched the real one. Then I finish reading the note.

Okay, that doesn’t do it justice either. I can’t draw. But seriously, I don’t know where I’d be without your help, so thank you.

-Evie

PS Could we watch the next episode of Laid Back Camp tonight? I know you have homework, but just one episode?

I don’t even hesitate. I put the tiny piece of paper down and open my notebook, ripping out a blank page and setting it on my desk. I start writing out a response, as small as I comfortably can.

Hi Evie!

I appreciate the note, it made my day. You really don’t have to thank me, I’m sure anyone else would have done the same. It’s been so nice having you around!

-Aiden

I hesitate, leaning my pencil against my chin as I look over to Evie’s message, staring at her miniature graphite self. And then I go for it, making one little selfish bid to somehow continue this penpalling conversation:

PS I’m glad you’re liking Laid Back Camp. Do you have a favorite character so far?

[Olo]

@littlest-lily In my experience, being able to continue a conversation while being handled is a big positive step for a tiny. Evie might be adjusting to the situation faster than Aiden is.

I forget if Evie had a phone. She might go overboard on the texts if she did.

[littlest-lily]

@Olo She’s tryin so hard!! Funny you should mention a phone… but no, hers got destroyed in the fire.

[littlest-lily]

Chapter 14
Evie

All sounds are muffled as I let myself sit with my head leaned forward, taking in the calm and the darkness behind my eyelids. It’s like I’m sitting at the bottom of the ocean again, of my own volition this time. The pressure of the water feels kind of nice… but it’s also getting a little too warm.

I pop my head up, taking a deep breath as I breach the surface of the bath. I vaguely wonder if I should go turn the temperature down a little bit, it feels a bit more like a hot tub in here than I’d like. But that would require getting out into the cold air… and I’d rather just hang out. I don’t really feel hurried to do anything right now.

I scoop up some water into my hands and lift it out, and the surface tension creates a droplet on my palms that holds its shape. A couple of weeks ago, as part of a lab credit that didn’t end up ruining my life, I got to play around with mercury, and I’m reminded of that experience now, messing with a liquid that doesn’t quite act the way my brain thinks it should. I roll the droplet between my hands before plopping it back into the bath.

The texture of water at my small size might be interesting, but it’s not going to be much longer before I get incredibly bored. It’s weird, I’m so used to living alone, why should this be so different? Is it just because I know how limited I am? In the past, even if I spent all day relaxing at home, I at least knew I had the option of stepping outside for a walk or to go run some errands or something. I had work to do, or school, something that gave me direction in my day. And now, suddenly, the bulk of my time is becoming devoid of any kind of structure. It just means I’m going to have to create my own sense of structure… somehow.

Not sure I’ll be getting around to that today, though. Ever since my roommate left this morning I’ve been wavering between feeling anxious and depressed. I realize the heat is starting to make me a little dizzy. Fine. I’ll get out of the bath.

Once I’m dried and dressed again, I go on a little walk around the perimeter of the desk. I wonder what Aiden’s up to. He should be in his - I glance up at the distant clock - second class by now. I wonder if he read the note I wrote. I hope he didn’t just forget that he had it tucked away in his wallet. Even from this far away, I feel like I’m trying to tug at his attention, wondering if he’ll notice me.

I miss him. His giant body intimidates me, but the person on the inside is someone I’ve already grown so fond of. I want to spend more time with him than ever so that I can force myself to get over my fears around being so little. I just want to hang out with a friend and feel like I can relax.

I look towards the clock again. This is going to be a long day.

As the hours crawl by, I eat when I’m hungry, clean when I’m restless. I open one of Dr. Little’s old books, but the contents of this one are about the most boring thing I can think of, the first chapter being all about how rust is formed, and I quickly close it again. I wash the outfit that I’d slept in and hang it up to dry, disappointed at how little time that took. I wander to the notepad and try to continue adding to my list of recipes, but my heart’s just not in it.

I look past the edge of the desk, towards the distant floor. At one point Aiden had offered to figure out a way to give me access to the ground, just so that I’m not trapped up here. I could tell he was nervous about even mentioning it, probably since it might be tempting fate to risk me falling or ending up unnoticed and underfoot. I told him not to worry about it, and now I wonder if that was a mistake. But then again, what’s the point? It’s not as if I’m lacking in space, in fact I almost feel paralyzed by the vastness of my surroundings, being on the floor would be worse…

I feel annoyed with myself. I’d thought this out days ago, I’d come up with all sorts of things I could occupy myself with. I could work on making better clothes, I could write or doodle, or maybe one of the other books might be more interesting. But I don’t try any of it, and the more I notice that I’m slipping into a dark hole, the further in I slip. The whole day passes as I sink, and at about a quarter past three I run out of any scrap of motivation that keeps me on my feet. I just sit on the desk and stare at the clock.

An entire hour passes. I’m fighting tears at this point. And I kind of hate myself. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this pathetic in my life. But I don’t even care. I just want… I just want…

I snap my head up at a muffled thumping outside. And then I’m on my feet at the familiar sound of the keys jingling and sliding into the lock. My heart soars as the door swings open.

I don’t care that he’s too big. At this moment I don’t even care that I’m so incredibly dependent on him, and not just physically. In the midst of my emotional shambles from these last several days and the misery of the past eight hours, all I care about is that he’s home right now. He’s back. I’m so happy to see him I could break down and cry.

“Hellooo!” Aiden calls out as he slips off his shoes and then heads my way. “What a day… You’re a sight for sore eyes. Guess what I had time to do during my lunch break?”

“What’s that?” I yell back when he gets close enough, and my voice is a little thick. He notices, and as our eyes meet he must see how red mine are, his expression shifting to concern.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I try to assure him, “I just… um…”

I squirm for a moment. Ugh. Screw it. I don’t have the strength right now. I let myself be a little vulnerable.

“I had a bit of a hard day,” I admit, smiling sadly at him as I wipe at my eyes, “I’m just really glad you’re home.”

“Awww…” Aiden sits down at the desk chair, a mix of emotions on his face, and as if it’s moving of its own accord, his hand floats over to rest on the desk ahead of me. “Evie, come here…”

He doesn’t need to tell me twice. I hurry forward, clambering aboard and feeling immediate relief at the warmth of his skin. He keeps his hand on the table but bends his fingers in to form a wall behind me, his ring finger resting supportively on my shoulder.

“Anything in particular you need to talk through?” he asks and I blush at how dumb this all feels.

“No, it’s… it’s stupid, I had all these plans, and I just… I don’t know why I had such a hard time being alone for so long…”

There’s a pause and the digit on my shoulder gives me a careful rub. “I can think of a few reasons you’re having a hard time right now,” the giant says softly, “It’s been less than a week since you became too small to be part of regular society. Cut yourself some slack.”

My shoulders droop. As someone who spends so much time in my own head… I think I needed to hear that.

Aiden continues, “And it’s understandable you might have trouble entertaining yourself stuck up on a desk. Hopefully this will help?”

With that he finally lifts up his other hand to reveal what he had wanted to show me when he came in. It’s a new phone. I perk up at this beacon of hope. He’s already gotten it out of the box and charged it, and he’s apparently put a pop socket on it so that when he sets it on the desk it’s held upright. I eagerly climb back off his hand to go take a look.

“Sorry, I should have gone to get this for you before today…”

“That’s okay! This is awesome, thank you so much! Did they take the warranty?”

“Um…” Aiden hesitates and I pull my attention away from the phone, turning to look up at him. He looks like a kid who just got found out for stealing a cookie. “No…” he admits, “The warranty just covered defects. But… I had points with them after I’d replaced mine, and the expensive part would have been adding the phone plan, which I didn’t do since you can just use wifi for everything…”

I know where this is going and I’m already slowly shaking my head with a defeated smile.

“I’m not going to insist, but… I’d really like to cover this one for you. If that’s alright.”

Since I did pay him back for some of my setup, he’s seen my bank account. He knows I can’t afford much now that I can’t go to work. I don’t have the energy to argue anyway.

“Thank you,” I say helplessly, for what feels like the thousandth time since I’ve been here. I wish I had better words. “Thank you so much.”

“Happy to help,” he responds, sounding weirdly helpless himself. “Truly.”

We sit in an awkward silence for a few long seconds. Wishing things were simpler. That our dynamics didn’t have to be so off-kilter. That we could just be normal friends.

“D-Do you want any help setting this up?” Aiden finally asks, gesturing towards the phone.

“Um,” I say, glancing from the device back to him. “Yeah, maybe tonight we can take a look? I’ll have plenty of time to figure it all out tomorrow too. Honestly, uh… I’d like to hear how your day went? If that’s okay.” God, I’m so desperate to just have a conversation right now.

“Yeah, of course.” He sounds a little relieved before he turns the clock back through his memories. “Well, first two classes were as boring as all get-out. And, if it makes you feel any better, you actually haven’t missed much of anything with Biochem. I feel like we’ll be stuck on the krebs cycle for weeks. I had a lot of catching up to do for work, so thankfully today was just a lab day. Oh, but I gotta tell you about this one guy…”

I make my way to my bed, taking a seat onto it and looking up at him avidly. I try not to get too caught up in just the sound of his voice, wanting to actually pay attention to what he’s saying, drinking up every moment. It feels like medicine for my fevered loneliness, like I’m slowly coming back to life.

It’s reassuring, us slipping back into whatever normalcy we’ve found in the few days we’ve been living together. It’s a reminder that he didn’t just leave forever, that even if the days might drag sometimes, Aiden will always come home. It’s striking how much my world has constricted in on itself in such a short time, largely limited to one room and one person. In the back of my mind I know that’s probably not healthy. But right now it’s enough.

Images flash through my brain, as if I’m getting visions of the future.

The two of us are sitting on the couch. I’m on his shoulder and his feet are propped up on the ottoman. He has a textbook balanced on his knees as we read together.

My new phone is playing a workout video. I’ve made myself a rudimentary yoga mat and am following along. Keeping myself busy and healthy as I survive on my own.

Aiden is holding a piece of fabric up to a light. He’s leaning in and squinting at the tiny marks I’ve made. His hands are carefully maneuvering the scissors with each snip and I gaze up at him gratefully.

Long, powerful fingers are carefully snaking their way around my torso. I’m lifted up with incredible ease, drifting through the air in a gentle and warm embrace. Carried over to our usual spot to watch a favorite show.

My giant friend and I are chatting in the kitchen. We’re having some kind of pointless yet entertaining debate over what some fictional character would do in a given situation. I’m all but useless in helping make food but I’m just happy to be at his side.

Speaking of which…

“Oh hey,” Aiden says with sudden recollection, “I actually need to go defrost something for dinner later. Want to come with me? I was going to say so that you can stretch your legs but… well… you know what I mean.”

It might not seem like much, just walking across the room. But to me it’s a welcome change of scenery. I’m so glad for the invite, so glad that he seems to get it. I eagerly climb back onto his hand and he lifts it up as he stands, though before he starts walking he reaches towards his back pocket.

“But first…”

He fetches his wallet out and lays it on the desk so he can open it one-handed. Out of one of the credit card slots he pulls out a folded piece of paper. My heart jumps at the sight. I hadn’t expected this at all. Aiden holds it up briefly, smiling in my direction before he sets it back down on my miniature table.

“For later.”

[Olo]

@littlest-lily As someone who is desperately trying to reduce the amount of time he spends online, it was ironic to find myself during the first part of this chapter saying, “Evie needs the Internet.”

Both Evie and Aiden seem remarkably emotionally mature for their age(s). It’s both appropriate and adorable that Evie is the first to indulge in fantasizing about what a life together would be like. I’m struck that she already seems to have, if not abandoned, at least deferred the hope of getting restored to normal size.

Both of them need to acknowledge that Evie’s dependency on Aiden is a real obstacle to their relationship. I think it’s most analagous to her having suffered a disability. Some couples can accommodate that, some cannot.

[littlest-lily]

@Olo As someone who has spent so much time thinking about motivations, personality, past experiences, etc and just really trying to get into these characters’ heads, you have no idea how much it means to me to see such thoughtful comments like this

Yep, she’s totally resigned at this point! A little weird, ain’t it?.. And don’t worry, I definitely don’t plan to glaze over that dependency issue.

[Olo]

@littlest-lily IMO, well-motivated characters make the best smut.

[littlest-lily]

Chapter 15

I’m so happy to know your week is getting better, Evie! Something else you should check out when you get the time is this communities app, I’ll email you a link. I think it would be up your alley, I’m sure there’s at least one forum about woodworking.

Speaking of, I didn’t realize when you said you’d done woodworking that you did it in school. What was that like?

By the way, if these notes are going to be a regular thing I wanted to tell you, it’s okay if you write smaller! You could probably cut the size in half before I need my glasses.

–

“Mmkay,” I mutter to myself, pinching a spot on the string that I’m holding around my waist, so that when I pull it off of me again I have an accurate measurement. Then I lay it down on the blue fabric at my feet and make some marks with my little pencil. This would be so much easier if I had a pattern. But I think I’m making progress. I’m hoping to have the panels I need marked up before Aiden gets home so that he can help me cut them out. Then I can spend a good part of tomorrow sewing.

The playlist that I’m listening to runs out so I run over to my phone to pick out a new lofi video. The phone is bigger than any TV I’ve seen, almost as tall as I am and about twice as long. It’s been taking some getting used to figuring out how to best touch the screen so that it picks up on my small hands, but after a couple of days I’ve been getting the hang of it. I find something from a video game soundtrack and nod along with the beat for a moment before I get back to work.

I’m not exactly sure where my bursts of motivation are coming from. There was something about admitting to my giant friend that I was having a rough time that made the anxiety start to dissipate. Being vulnerable is so hard for me, I never know when I can take it too far and I don’t ever want to find out where Aiden’s limit is. But for now, I think… I’m doing okay.

–

Happy Friday! I can’t believe the weekend’s here. Do you think you can bring me into the kitchen again with you tonight? I want to show you how to make that homemade gnocchi and you can show me how to make your famous pesto!

To answer your question about the dress, I learned it from when I was nannying. For the babies I’d wear them in a sling sometimes, and I’d used this wrap thing that you loop around yourself and tie off. I just thought a few more loops and maybe I could make a dress or a romper! It’s been working great until I make better clothes.

You did a good job cutting that stuff out by the way, super precise. It’s been harder than I thought but I’ve been making progress on the sewing too.

–

I’m studying at my actual desk, for a change. It’s for a Hydrology course so Evie’s doing her own thing beside me, quietly tapping away at something on her phone. Though at one point she seems to get bored with that and ambles over. To my surprise, she leans her full body onto my wrist, peering over it towards my textbook. I go very, very still at her touch.

“What does drawdown mean?” she asks curiously.

My eyes flick down to watch her. She might technically be interrupting, but I’m so glad that she’s been less worried about “bothering” me lately. “I haven’t gotten there yet. I think it has something to do with elevation?”

She seems to notice how stiff I’ve gone and suddenly looks embarrassed, standing back up and taking a step away from me. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I feel like I’ve gotten so… touchy lately. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that this is actually your hand, and not just… I don’t know… something other than a human body part.”

I shake my head, hoping I’m not blushing too much as I smile. “It’s understandable. I think my brain does something similar. Maybe because we haven’t had much of a choice about me needing to carry you around since day one.”

I reach across with my opposite hand, carefully bracing my thumb against Evie’s abdomen and my forefinger against her back. And then I pluck her up and place her right onto my forearm, in a spot where she’s able to get a better view of the handout I’m using from the slight boost in elevation.

“I won’t make it awkward if you don’t. Think you could help quiz me on these terms?”

She hardly seems phased by me picking her up like that and smoothly settles into a cross-legged seat on my arm, looking happy to be of assistance. “Sure!”

–

In case I forget to tell you later - just as a head’s up I’ll be leaving a little early on Monday. Last-minute test run with my group members before the big presentation. Yay…

That show sounds really fun, I’d be down for checking it out. I think we need to start making an actual list of anime we should watch! I’ll take all the recommendations.

Oh my god I’m sitting in the class that I’m the TA for and some guy just dropped his drink and it exploded all over like five people in the row below him. I feel so bad but I’m trying so hard not to laugh right now. Actually, I’m sure I’ll just probably tell you about it when I get home. So never mind.

–

“You want to come study outside with me?”

Aiden’s hand is already reaching out for me hopefully. I stare at him for a second before I respond, “Like… in public?”

“Yeah, there’s this little courtyard just outside the apartment. Hardly anyone goes out there, and look – this shirt has a pocket in case you need to hide.” He grins down at me and nudges my leg with his finger. “Come on! I thought it might be nice to bring a snack and get some fresh air while we do Biochem.”

I give him a dubious look and then giggle as he continues to poke my leg, almost making me fall right onto his hand. “Okay, okay! That actually sounds nice now that it’s getting sunnier… Lead the way!”

–

Uhhh I guess when you lift me straight up and down that can still make me a little nauseous. But it’s really not that bad anymore. Crazy what you can get used to! Thanks for asking though.

Yeah it’s a weird last name, my friend Lynne (the one who got me into anime) would tease me about it all the time. It’s spelled “Ondine.”

So which of your classes is your favorite?? If I had to pick for me I kinda miss my Construction Technology class. Makes me wonder why I was focusing so much on chemistry in the “before times.”

–

“Hey Aiden?”

I’m sitting on the couch and glance up from my laptop, happy for a distraction. “What’s up?”

“Am I supposed to do anything to take care of the geode?”

I take a second to process the question, looking past her on the desk to the rock in question. “No, not really. We could get mineral oil for it, but it’s not a requirement. Especially since the edges are cut and polished on that one.”

“Oh, okay. Would it be bad if I dusted it?”

“I mean, it can’t hurt. I guess you might be able to see that kind of detail more than I would… Need any help?”

“Nah, I’m good. Just wanted to show it some love.”

Over the next ten minutes I keep glancing over to the desk, feeling very touched at the sight of little Evie diligently wiping away at the purple crystals that I’d given her.

–

Thanks for being understanding about Thursday, I don’t get to see this friend very often and that was the only time he could meet up. I’ll be home between school and dinner so I’ll make sure you have something to eat!

And thanks for the pep talk too. Teaching isn’t my long term goal but I still feel responsible for helping my students as much as I can, you know? I’m sure she’ll come around, she’s a smart kid who’s just going through a hard time right now.

OK now I have a very important question for you. I know it’s not even March but… what is your opinion on the appropriate time to put up Christmas decorations?

–

“Look what I’ve got!”

I’d been trying to crane my neck to see what Aiden was holding behind his back when he came home today. He brings it into view now, and at first I don’t even know what I’m looking at. Some kind of green and white box?

“It’s a mini fridge!” he says brightly, placing the towering structure on the desk. “Finally found one.”

“Aiden…” I whine, though I’m being mostly sarcastic as I’m actually really excited about this. “First the phone and now this?”

“No no no, see, I didn’t spend a cent on it,” he says insistently while I go investigate my new refrigerator. “I was overhearing this guy trying to pawn it off on his friend in class. Apparently it works fine but it’s defective because it’s too small. Like, he couldn’t get a can to fit inside. If this thing isn’t destined to be yours I don’t know what is.”

It’s still over twice as tall as I am, I have to reach over my head to get to the handle. But I manage to pull the door open on my own, and I think if I tie a rope or something to it I’ll be able to manage just fine.

I turn to grin up at my giant friend. “You rock. I love it.”

–

My birthday’s September 12th! What’s yours?

As for games, I’m into pretty much any kind of board game you can imagine. A lot of them I probably couldn’t play anymore, I guess. Or I could like… BE the pawn. Maybe that would be fun. But I still want to figure out how to play Magic with you! Watch out, I used to be really good. I might be rusty now but I bet I could still beat you!

And dude, I’m telling you, I can’t draw. There’s no way you’re worse than me. Now I want to play pictionary with you just to prove it haha. I’m sure we can find other ways to do creative stuff.

–

It’s bulk cooking day today (I like having freezer meals at the ready for evenings when I don’t have time to cook) so I spend a few hours in the kitchen with Evie on the counter. I’ve been working on a batch of soup and have sausage and vegetables roasting in the oven. The latter we plan to have for tonight’s dinner as well, and while I mess around at the stove, my shrunken roommate has offered to make a side salad for it.

I’ve opened the plastic bag of greens and she transfers them, leaf by leaf, into a nearby dish, washing or tearing off any dirty spots she comes across. Would it be faster if I just dumped it onto the plate myself? Of course. But I’d much rather she feel useful – not to mention her tiny eyes are sharper than mine for catching any iffy spots in the greens, so it’s a win-win.

We’ve started accruing some little kitchen tools like smaller bowls, a mini whisk, and a spoon and fork made for toddlers, with wooden handles so they’re not too heavy. So when it comes to the dressing for the salad, I do help by measuring out some ingredients according to her instructions into a bowl. But then she brings over her whisk, still half her height, intent on mixing it herself.

“You got it?” I ask, a little skeptically, as Evie hoists the utensil into the small bowl.

“Yup!” she says, and she begins to make wide turns with the whisk, so that it looks more like an oar. “It’ll take a while but we will have a vinaigrette soon enough.”

“You sure it won’t separate before you’re able to combine it?” It doesn’t look like she’s able to stir it nearly as fast as she needs to.

“That’s what the mustard was for. It won’t separate, it’ll emulsify.”

I grin down at her. “Look at you using science! Carry on then, little chef.” I decide I don’t need to question her cooking techniques after all.

–

Yeah I’m really bad at explaining it since I’m still figuring it out. Maybe I sneak you into class one of these days?? (just kidding)

Hmm, that’s a good question. I do like rockhounding, but I’m also pretty happy with my collection. Something I’d really like to get into one day is gardening. I can’t wait to have a backyard and grow my own vegetables or something. I’ve thought about getting a house plant but just never got around to it.

It’s supposed to be really nice weather on Saturday, how about we actually go on a walk? There’s the park on the north side of campus, some of the flowers are starting to be in bloom right now. No one should be there since there’s the football game, we should go!

–

“Ow ow ow ow ow,” I say with a hiss as I carefully try to extricate my hair from where it got stuck on a piece of tape. I need to add that to the crafting list… a hair tie. I’m sure if I could get some kind of small elastic I’d figure out how to make a scrunchie.

But that’s not what I’m currently working on. I’ve been spending most of my afternoon on a new project - taking a post-it note and bending up the sides of it to form a little open box. The hardest part has been trying to get pieces of tape to hold it all together. I now have sticky patches all over my body from where the adhesive got caught, and a growing pile of crumpled bits of tape off to the side. I’m going to need to take a bath after this.

It’s about then that Aiden gets home. I don’t even really flinch when I hear the keys jingling now, it’s just a normal part of our weekday routine. I’m still happy to see him every time, though.

“Ooo, whatcha working on today?” he asks as he ambles over.

I gesture dramatically at my paper box. “Tadaaaa… It’s a mailbox! We’ve been penpalling for weeks now, I figured we could use a proper– whoa! What the hell, man?”

He just shoved me in the back. I take a stumbling step forward, before glancing over my shoulder at his hand in confusion. He’s holding a tiny piece of tape between his fingertips.

“Sorry,” he laughs. “You’ve got a couple of these on you. Hold still?”

Now knowing what’s coming, I brace myself, digging my heels against the desk’s surface to try and keep my balance. With one hand he uses a finger to carefully push my hair aside and with the other he yanks two more bits of tape from my clothing. “Thanks,” I say, “I got it all over my skin too… Think I have time to wash up before dinner?”

“Go for it,” he says with a smile, “Oh wait, first! The inauguration of our beautiful new mailbox.”

He pulls out the latest of our long series of notes, holding the folded paper between index and middle finger. He does a little flourish with his hand before delicately placing the letter in the open box. Like a proud parent, I beam up at him and give him a satisfied nod, thankful for him humoring me.

Yeah, I’m doing okay. In fact, somehow, I think I can say I’m doing well.

[Olo]

@littlest-lily Handling without warning or obtaining permission is another big step, probably moreso for Aiden than for Evie.

Watching tinies navigate and manipulate their environment is endlessly fascinating to me. It’s my favorite distraction. All of my little lovelies have to overcome their self-consciousness fairly quickly.

Aiden’s repeated proposals to take Evie outside confirms to me that he’s suffering from separation anxiety as much as Evie has been.

Christmas decorations? Slow down, buddy.