GIANT

What are the impressions of Ao3 as a place to share stories that include fetish/kink content? I am aware that there are “shrink” tagged stories there, though it is often confusing to find them.

It seems like stories, while supported on DeviantArt as a medium aren’t really the interest of the user base.

I am delighted that my stories here have received so many views here, but it seems like (as has always been the case) the community has ebbs and flows.

This forum appeals to me for many reasons and I’d like to learn to interact here more fruitfully of course. But I’ll confess that I have been unsuccessful in promoting conversation organically.

Clearly people are here, the high view counts are demonstration of that. But it has always been “deep magic” to motivate the lurkers to post.

@xformbob

At the Classroom Door

This was the third incident this week after the lab accident. She was relieved that everyone else had left the room before it happened. But then she noticed him at the classroom door.

@xformbob

This thread is now marked clearly as AI in response to other community member’s request.

Cursed Deck

The man behind the counter had warned her that there were consequences for meddling with powers she did not understand. But he did not refuse to sell her that golden deck of cards.

Part 5 - Day 17: One day in the sun.

The doll dress that had been purchased yesterday at Anna’s request lay next to her as she stood in front of the small mirror taped to the side of the books and tried, for the third time, to apply a tiny amount of makeup using the edge of a pin and a drop of water. The result was more doll than she had intended, cheeks too bright with eyes too wide, but she did not wipe it off. Instead she slipped on that pale green dress and stepped into the little plastic slippers he had carefully stretched for her. They were still slightly too stiff, but they stayed on her feet and almost felt like shoes.

Beth watched from the towel without comment. She had agreed to go, but only if Anna came with them and stayed close. She had spent the morning quietly preparing herself for whatever might happen outside. The thought of being carried again made her stomach tight, but the thought of fresh air and open space pulled harder. She did not know if she was giving in or simply being practical. She only knew she wanted to find out which one it was.

When he returned he carried a small woven picnic basket. Inside were two toy plates, a few carefully cut pieces of fruit and cheese, and a larger plate for himself. A folded square of soft cloth sat in the middle like a cushion. He placed the basket on the desk beside the shelf and opened the lid.

“You can ride inside,” he said. “Both of you.”

Anna looked at Beth. Beth gave a small nod.

They climbed in without being touched. Once the lid closed over them, Anna spoke quietly in the dark.

“See? I told you he would find a way.”

Beth did not answer, but she did feel a smile pass over her lips.

Then a short, or rather giant, walk from his apartment to a quiet corner of a park with a wooden table half-hidden by trees. When he opened the basket the women climbed out on their own and sat on the cloth he had spread. The air was warm and smelled of grass and distant rain. For the first time in weeks they ate without urgency. Anna’s dress caught the light when she moved. Beth glanced at it once, then said, almost gently,

“You look like a doll someone dressed up for a tea party.”

Anna smiled instead of bristling. “I know.”

They talked while they ate, about the color of the sky, the sound of the leaves, the way the grass moved in the breeze. Small things. Safe things. When the food was gone, without a word, Anna brushed herself off, climbed back into the basket, curled up on the remaining cloth, and fell asleep in the shade.

Evan looked down at Beth.

She stood up.

They moved to the other end of the table away from the basket. He sat on the end of the bench and she let her feet dangle off the edge of the table, but her arms were crossed.

For a while neither of them spoke.

Then Beth said, “You kidnapped us.”

Evan was quiet for several seconds. Then he nodded once.

“I did,” he said. “At least partly. I could have called for help that night. I chose not to. I told myself it was to protect you, and that was true. But it was also true that I wanted to keep you where I could control what happened next. I’m not going to lie to you about that.”

Beth had expected denial or deflection. The direct answer knocked something loose in her chest.

He continued, voice steady. “I’m still working on getting access to the reversal research. I think there’s a real path. But it’s going to take time, and there’s no guarantee it will work. I haven’t told Anna how uncertain it is yet. She deserves to know. You both do. There are going to be harder choices ahead.”

Beth studied his face. He looked tired in a way she had not allowed herself to see before.

“She’s in love with you,” Beth said. “Crazy in love. And you know it. Don’t take advantage of that.”

Evan met her eyes without flinching.

“I’m in love with her too,” he said. “I know how it looks from where you’re standing. But I’m not using her. What’s happening between us is real on both sides. I’m not going to pretend it isn’t complicated or that it started from a clean place. But I’m not lying to her about what I feel.”

He looked toward the basket where Anna was sleeping.

“I’m going to take care of both of you,” he said. “Even if you never trust me. Even if you keep seeing me as the man who took you. If you’ll let me make your life a little easier, at least you won’t have to go through this alone.”

Beth was quiet for a long time. The wind moved through the grass far below her feet.

Finally she said, “We should let Anna sleep in the basket. You can put me in your shirt pocket for the walk back. I want to see.”

He nodded. He did not ask if she was sure. He simply reached down, picked her up with careful efficiency, and slipped her into the breast pocket of his shirt. Her head and shoulders cleared the top. She could see the trees, the path, the distant cars lining the street.

He lifted the basket with Anna still sleeping inside and began the slow walk back to his apartment.

Beth stayed where she was, watching the park move past her. She did not speak again. Neither did he. The arrangement was understood.

They were not friends yet. But they weren’t enemies anymore either. Just two people who accepted the situation for what it was. For now, that was enough.

Part 4 - Day 15: Torn apart at the seam

The shelf had changed.

A small curtain made from a strip of dark blue fabric hung from a paperclip rod across one end, giving a private corner. Two simple dresses cut from soft cotton scraps lay folded in a shallow box he had lined with tissue. One was pale gray, the other a faded green. A pair of tiny LED lights no bigger than match heads sat on the towel; Anna had figured out how to press the sides to turn them on and off. The TV remote lay near Beth’s usual spot, its buttons too large for one hand but usable if she leaned her weight into them. A small Kindle rested against the books. Beth had to use both hands to tap the screen and turn the page.

Anna was on the desk again.

He had cleared a space on the graph paper near his keyboard. She sat with her legs dangling over the edge of a thick hardcover book he used as a platform, watching him work. He had been at it for hours. The screen in front of him was filled with dense text and diagrams she could not read from where she sat. Every so often he would reach over without looking and run one finger lightly along her calf or the side of her thigh, a brief, absent touch that made her breath catch. She would lean into it. He would keep typing.

The flirting was quiet and constant. She would stand up and walk along the edge of the book so he would notice her. He would glance over, the corner of his mouth lifting for half a second before he forced his attention back to the screen. Once he had picked her up without warning, held her in his palm for a few seconds while he read something, then set her down again like it was nothing. The heat of his skin stayed on her long after.

He was trying to act normal. So was she. It was not really working.

“They’re letting me see more of the raw data now,” he said at one point, eyes still on the screen. “If I can get on the lead team I’ll have direct access to the notes on reversal protocols. There’s a chance. A real one.”

Anna nodded even though he was not looking at her. She believed him. She wanted to believe him. The thought of a cure, of being able to leave this shelf and this apartment as something closer to whole, still lived in her. But it felt distant compared to the immediate fact of his hand when it brushed her leg again.

Beth was on the shelf behind them, the Kindle propped against the book. She had not spoken in hours.

He worked until the light through the window turned orange. Then he stopped typing. His hand came over without ceremony. Two fingers hooked the hem of Anna’s dress and peeled it upward in one smooth motion. The fabric came off over her head and he dropped it on the desk beside her. She was naked in the open air of the room.

Anna did not cover herself. She looked up at him.

He stood, lifted her carefully, and carried her into the bedroom. The door clicked shut behind them.

On the shelf, Beth stared at the small gray dress left crumpled on the graph paper.

In the bedroom he placed Anna on the pillow and undressed without hurry. When he came back to the bed he did not speak. He simply brought his hand down and let her climb into it. She sat in the center of his palm while he carried her to the middle of the mattress. The sheets were cool and vast. His body above her blocked most of the light.

He laid her on her back and rested two fingers along her sides, pinning her gently without effort. His thumb moved between her legs and began to stroke with slow, deliberate pressure. Anna’s back arched immediately. The scale made everything total. One fingertip was wider than her hips. The heat and texture of his skin were everywhere at once. She reached up and gripped his thumb with both hands as the pressure increased, not to stop him but to hold on.

When he finally moved over her, the head of his cock was larger than her entire torso. He pressed the length of it against her body, rocking slowly so that the weight and heat of it moved across her breasts, her stomach, between her thighs. Anna wrapped her arms and legs around as much of him as she could reach. The friction and pressure were overwhelming. She came once like that, shaking and gasping against his skin, then again when his thumb returned between her legs while he continued to rock against her.

He was careful. He never put his full weight on her. But he did not treat her like she might break. He used her body the way she had silently asked to be used, contained, overwhelmed, given no room to think about anything except the next wave of sensation. When he finally came it was across her stomach and chest, hot and heavy, and she stayed beneath it, trembling, until he gently moved her to a clean part of the pillow.

He did not notice her wet eyes as he finished cleaning her with a warm, damp cloth. Not wet from pain, but from the sheer size of what had just happened inside her chest. She had never felt so completely taken and so completely safe at the same time. She had never felt so small and so wanted.

He carried her back into the other room and to the shelf without speaking and set her down on the towel. He glanced once at Beth, who was still sitting with the Kindle in her lap, then turned and walked back into the bedroom. The door closed.

Anna’s gray dress was still on the desk where he had dropped it.

Beth was also on the edge of tears, but for different reasons. Steady, helpless tears ran down that she was no longer trying to hide.

Anna sat naked on the towel, still sticky in places, still sore between her legs, still shaking from the aftermath. She pulled the black fabric square over herself and waited.

After a long time Beth spoke. Her voice was thick.

“I didn’t think it would feel like this,” she said. “I thought if I just stayed small on the outside I could keep the rest of me intact. But it’s shrinking too. My soul is getting smaller along with my body and I hate it. I hate that I’m crying like this. I hate that I can’t stop.”

Anna’s throat tightened.

“I left you alone,” she said. “I kept telling myself you were choosing to stay miserable, that you were being stubborn. But I stopped looking out for you. I found something that made me feel big again and I let you disappear on this shelf. I’m sorry.”

Beth wiped her face with the back of her hand.

“You’re in love with him,” she said. It was not a question.

Anna nodded. “Yes. I am. And he wants to know you too. He’s said it more than once. He wants to do things for you. He wants you to have a better life than this shelf. He’s not asking you to do what I do. He just wants you to stop hating him for saving us.”

Beth let out a short, bitter sound that was almost a laugh.

“Saving us,” she repeated.

Anna looked at her steadily.

“He wants to take you to the park,” she said. “Just the two of you. Somewhere quiet. So you can talk. No pressure. No expectations. Just… a chance for you to see him as something other than the man who trapped us. I think you should go.”

Beth stared at the gray dress still lying on the desk across the room.

She did not answer.

Part 3 - Day 11: The pressure increases.

The chopstick railing had been moved. He had placed it along the open edge of the shelf like a low fence after Anna nearly lost her balance reaching for the second bottle cap. The black fabric square now had a small tear in one corner where Anna had been gripping it at night. The two bottle caps sat side by side; the sweet-smelling one was almost empty. A single paperclip had appeared on the towel, bent into a crude hook shape. Neither of them knew what it was for yet.

It was on the eleventh day that he came home early.

The sound of the door was wrong. It slammed instead of clicking shut. His footsteps crossed the apartment too fast. When he reached the desk he did not sit. He stood with both hands braced on the surface and his head lowered, breathing hard through his nose.

Anna stood up on the towel. Beth stayed where she was.

He did not look at them at first. When he finally spoke, his voice was tight and controlled.

“Someone pulled the incident footage today,” he said. “They noticed the cameras in the containment wing were damaged during the explosion. No video after the initial blast. They’re asking why the backup system didn’t catch it. I told them I checked the logs and everything looked clean on my end.”

He straightened up and ran a hand over his face.

“I destroyed the footage of getting you two out,” he said. “I thought the system would overwrite it automatically. It didn’t. They’re going to keep digging.”

He looked at the shelf then. His eyes moved from Anna to Beth and back again.

“If they find anything that suggests someone was caught in the area of effect, they will tear this place apart. And they will not be gentle about it.”

Anna took a step toward the edge of the towel. Beth did not move.

He came over to the shelf without another word. His hand came down fast. Two fingers slid under Anna’s back and his thumb came across her front, lifting her cleanly off the towel before she could react. He brought her up to his face in one smooth motion. Anna’s legs dangled for a second before she grabbed onto his thumb.

He held her there, close to his mouth, and looked past her at Beth.

Beth had already started moving. She crawled backward toward the books, fast, trying to put distance between herself and his reaching hand. He watched her for half a second, then his expression tightened. He did not reach for her.

Instead he brought Anna the rest of the way in and pressed her gently against the side of his face. His skin was warm and slightly rough with stubble. His breath moved across her back in short, controlled bursts.

“You’ll be alright,” he said quietly. “I promise. Both of you will.”

He held her there for another moment, then lowered his hand and set her back on the towel with care. He did not look at Beth again. He turned, grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair, and walked out of the apartment. The door closed behind him with a solid, final sound.

The silence after he left was heavier than before.

Anna stayed where he had placed her, one hand still gripping the edge of the towel. Beth had stopped crawling but had not come out from behind the books.

Anna spoke first.

“He’s trying to protect us. He could have left us on that bench in the lab and walked away. He didn’t. He brought us here. He’s still going in every day even though they’re starting to ask questions. And you’re acting like he’s the one who put us in danger.”

Beth came out from behind the books slowly. She stood up but stayed near the back of the shelf.

“He’s not protecting us,” she said. “He’s protecting his access to us. If they find out what he did, he loses everything. His job. His freedom. Maybe more. Keeping us here is the only way he keeps control of the situation. And you’re helping him do it every time you let him pick you up like that.”

Anna turned to face her.

“He saved us. If we had stayed in that lab we would be in containment units right now. We would be experiments. He chose to take that risk instead. And you won’t even acknowledge it. You just sit there acting like he’s some kind of monster who tricked us into this.”

Beth’s voice stayed steady.

“He didn’t trick us. He made a choice that benefited him. He gets to keep two women who can’t leave, who depend on him for everything, and who are too small to fight back. One of them even comes when he touches her. That’s not a rescue. That’s the best possible outcome for a man who decided he wanted to keep what he found.”

Anna’s face flushed.

“You think this is good for him? He’s risking everything. His career. His safety. And you’re sitting here accusing him of turning us into toys while he’s out there trying to keep them from finding us.”

“I’m accusing him of exactly what he’s doing,” Beth said. “He could have called for help that first night. He could have left us somewhere and let professionals handle it. Instead he dropped us in a bag and brought us to his apartment. And now that they’re getting close to figuring it out, he’s still choosing to keep us instead of finding a way to give us back. That’s not rescue. That’s possession with good intentions.”

Anna stepped closer to the chopstick railing.

“You’re making yourself miserable on purpose,” she said. “You won’t let yourself see that he’s the only reason we’re still together and still alive. You’d rather blame him for everything than admit that without him we would already be lost. And every time he tries to reassure us, you act like it’s proof he’s dangerous instead of proof he cares what happens to us.”

Beth looked at her for a long moment.

“You keep saying he saved us,” she said. “But saved us for what? So we can live on a shelf in his apartment while one of us learns how to come on his finger and the other one pretends that’s not happening? That’s not being saved. That’s being kept. And you’re helping him keep us because some part of you likes what it feels like when he decides you’re allowed to want it.”

Anna’s hands were shaking.

“I like that I’m not dead,” she said. “I like that I’m not in a cage being studied. And yes, I like that when he touches me I can still feel something instead of just being afraid all the time. If that makes me naive in your eyes, then fine. But I’m not going to stand here and let you pretend he’s the villain when he’s the only person who chose to keep us human.”

Beth sat down on the towel with her back against the books.

“You can call it whatever you want,” she said. “But when they come for us, and they will come, he’s going to have to decide whether to hand us over or run. And I already know which choice he’ll make. He’ll run. And he’ll take us with him. Because at this point we’re not two people he rescued anymore. We’re two things he can’t afford to lose.”

Anna stayed by the railing, looking out at the empty chair across the room.

Neither of them spoke again.

The apartment was very quiet without him in it.

Part 2 - Day 7: Crossing the line.

The towel had developed a permanent depression where Anna usually sat. A second bottle cap had appeared beside the first, this one filled with something that smelled faintly sweet; he had not explained what it was. A couple of wooden chopsticks lay along the back edge of the shelf like a railing. The books had been rearranged so the thickest one now formed a partial wall on the side nearest the desk. Light from the window reached them differently in the late afternoon, striping the towel in long, narrow bands that moved as the sun lowered.

Seven days had passed since he brought them here.

On the fourth day he had placed a small square of soft black silk beside the towel without comment. It was so much finer and more pleasant as a blanket at night. On the fifth day he had left the desk lamp on longer than usual and Anna had stayed awake watching the slow movement of his hands while he worked. On the sixth day she had asked, once, to be placed on the desk while he typed. He had cleared a space on a sheet of graph paper and let her sit there for most of the evening. She had not asked to be held again after that first time.

Until the seventh day.

He had come home later than usual. The apartment was already dark except for the desk lamp. He sat heavily in the chair and did not move for a long time. When he finally stood and came to the shelf, Anna was already at the edge of the towel. She did not raise her arms this time. She simply waited.

He looked at her for several seconds. Then he brought his hand over, palm up, and rested it against the shelf.

Anna stepped onto it without hesitation.

This time he did not keep his hand level. He lifted her slowly toward his face until she was level with his mouth and nose. The heat of his breath moved across her in slow, warm waves. She could see the texture of his lips, the faint stubble along his jaw, the way his eyes tracked her with complete focus. She placed both hands against the side of his nose and felt the warmth of his skin and the subtle movement of air as he breathed.

He brought his other hand up. The tip of his index finger touched her back, very lightly, tracing the line of her spine through her clothes. The contact was so large and so precise that Anna’s legs went unsteady. She leaned forward against his nose for balance and the finger followed, pressing just enough to hold her in place while he studied her. She could feel the ridge of his fingerprint moving across her shoulder blades.

When he spoke, his voice was low enough that it vibrated through the finger against her back.

“Tell me if you want me to stop.”

Anna shook her head. She reached down with one hand and touched the pad of his finger where it rested against her. He understood. The finger moved lower, sliding carefully along her side, then across her hip. The pressure was controlled but total. She felt it everywhere at once, the heat, the texture, the way it could have pinned her completely if he had chosen to. She did not pull away.

He carried her like that for a long time, one finger tracing slow paths across her body while she stayed pressed against his face. At one point the finger moved between her thighs, not pushing, simply present, and Anna’s breath broke. She gripped the side of his nose harder and let it happen. The finger stayed there, warm and steady, until she stopped trembling.

When he finally lowered her back to the towel, Anna’s clothes were damp in places and her legs would not hold her weight. She sat down hard and stayed there, breathing unevenly, one hand still braced against the matchstick railing.

Beth had not moved from her place near the open edge.

She waited until his footsteps had crossed the room and the chair creaked as he sat again. Then she spoke.

“You let him touch you between your legs.”

Anna did not look at her. “Yes.”

“You let him hold you up to his face and trace you with his finger like you were something he was allowed to explore. And you stayed still for it. You let him feel you get wet through your clothes.”

Anna’s face was hot. She could still feel the ghost of that finger along the inside of her thigh and the way her body had answered it without her permission.

“I wanted it,” she said.

Beth’s voice was flat. “You wanted him to treat you like a doll he could position and touch wherever he decided. You wanted to be small enough that one of his fingers could cover your cunt and you wanted him to know it.”

Anna finally turned her head. Beth’s face was composed but her eyes were bright and hard in a way Anna had not seen before.

“He’s the only reason we’re not in a lab right now,” Anna said. “He’s the one who chose to keep us safe instead of turning us over. And yes, I wanted his hands on me. I wanted to feel what it was like to be held by someone who could break me without trying and who chose not to. That doesn’t make me his toy. It makes me someone who is still capable of wanting something inside all of this.”

Beth looked at her for a long moment.

“You’re not his toy yet,” she said. “But you’re cooperating like one. And every time you let him touch you like that, you make it easier for him to keep deciding what we are. I saw the way you leaned into his finger. I saw what happened to your body when he held it there. You weren’t surviving. You were asking.”

Anna had nothing to say that would close the distance. She pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. The chopstick railing was cool against her back. She could still feel the heat of his breath across her skin and the precise, overwhelming pressure of his fingerprint when it had moved between her legs.

Beth turned her face toward the open edge of the shelf and the long drop to the floor.

“I’m not going to keep watching you disappear into his hands and pretend it doesn’t change what we are to him,” she said quietly. “Because it does. And I’m still here. I’m still trying to remember what it felt like to believe we might actually get out of this instead of learning how to come on his finger.”

Anna stayed where she was, forehead against her knees, while the desk lamp clicked off across the room and the apartment settled into darkness.

Beth did not speak again.

Part 1 - Day 3: A difference of perspective.

The shelf was an old wooden spice rack he had cleared and turned on its side, bolted low on the wall above the desk so he could reach it without standing. He had lined the bottom with a folded navy hand towel that still carried the faint chemical smell of whatever he used to wash it. Against the back wall he had placed three thick paperback books as a windbreak; their spines faced outward and their pages made a soft, uneven surface that caught the low lamplight. A bottle cap filled with water sat in the far corner, next to a torn square of paper towel he had folded into a crude mat. That was everything so far.

Anna sat with her back against the middle book. Beth sat farther down the towel, near the open edge, legs drawn up so her knees almost touched her chest. The apartment beyond the shelf was a geography of distant surfaces: the dark plane of the desk stretching away like a runway, the tall black rectangle of the monitor, the slow movement of his shoulders when he shifted in the chair. Sound arrived warped by scale. The click of his keyboard was a series of sharp, isolated impacts. When he breathed out through his nose it was a low, steady weather moving across the room.

He had been careful with them for three days.

When he had snuck them out of the lab on that first night, he had not spoken much. He had set them on the towel, placed the bottle cap, and then spent twenty minutes adjusting the angle of the shelf so the lamp would not shine directly into their eyes. The next morning he had brought a second folded cloth and laid it over part of the towel to make a separate space. He had asked, once, in a voice kept deliberately quiet, whether they needed anything else he could get without drawing attention. Beth had not answered. Anna had asked for something to eat and he had nodded and brought small broken crackers with a little cheese.

On the second day he had needed to move them while he wiped the shelf. He had used two fingers under Anna’s back and his thumb across her thighs, lifting her a short distance to the desk and setting her down on a clean square of printer paper. The contact lasted less than ten seconds. She had felt the heat of his skin through her clothes, the slight give of the pad of his thumb, and the way his pulse arrived in her own body as a slow, heavy rhythm she could not match. When he put her back she had stayed standing for a long time afterward, one hand braced against the book spine, waiting for the tremor in her legs to settle.

On the third day he had not needed to move them at all, but Anna had asked anyway.

She had waited until Beth was turned toward the wall, then walked to the edge of the towel and lifted both arms. He had been at the desk. He had seen her. For a moment he did nothing. Then he brought his hand over, palm up, fingers relaxed, and rested the edge of it against the shelf so she could step on without climbing.

Anna crossed to it.

The moment her bare feet met his skin the difference in temperature was immediate and total. His palm was warmer than the towel, warmer than the air, warmer than anything she had touched since they had been brought here. She sat down in the center of it and the surface gave slightly under her weight, conforming. His fingers rose a little on either side of her, not closing, simply present, forming a low wall of living tissue. She could see the fine lines of his palm, the whorls and ridges magnified until they looked like terrain. When she placed her hand flat against the pad of his thumb she felt the texture of his skin catch against her own.

He did not move for several seconds. Then, very slowly, he tilted his hand so that she slid a few inches toward the base of his fingers. The movement was controlled and deliberate. Anna’s breath caught. She reached out with both hands and braced herself against the inner slope of his index finger. The skin there was thinner, warmer, and she could feel the faint, steady beat of blood moving beneath it. She stayed like that, pressed against his finger, while he held her a few inches above the shelf.

The scale made everything else disappear. The desk, the room, the fact that Beth was watching — all of it receded behind the fact of his hand. She could smell the faint, clean scent of whatever soap he used. She could feel the tiny shifts in tension as he kept his hand perfectly steady so she would not slide. When she finally looked up, his face was far above her, blurred by proximity and the low light, but she could see the line of his mouth and the way he was watching his own hand with complete attention.

He brought her back down without being asked. He lowered his palm until it was level with the towel and waited while she stepped off. The absence of his heat was immediate. Anna stood on the towel with her arms wrapped around herself, trying to contain the tremor that had started in her chest and was moving outward through her limbs.

Beth had turned around.

She had seen all of it.

For a long time neither of them spoke. The only sound was the low, intermittent click of his keyboard across the room and the occasional shift of his weight in the chair.

Then Beth said, quietly, “You asked him to do that.”

Anna did not deny it. “Yes.”

“You let him hold you like that while I was right here.”

Anna’s hands were still pressed against her own ribs, trying to keep the heat inside. “I needed to feel something that wasn’t this shelf.”

Beth’s voice stayed level. “He didn’t have to tilt his hand. He didn’t have to bring you that close to his face. He chose to do those things because you were sitting in his palm letting him decide how close was close enough. And you didn’t stop him.”

Anna looked down at her own bare feet on the towel. She could still feel the ghost of his skin against her soles and the way his pulse had traveled up through her legs.

“I didn’t want to stop him,” she said.

Beth was silent for several seconds. When she spoke again her voice had changed.

“You’re already treating his hand like it’s safer than being on this shelf with me,” she said. “And I’m watching you do it. I’m watching you choose the person who put us here over the only other person who knows what this actually feels like.”

Anna had no answer that would land cleanly. She sat down on the towel and pulled her knees up, wrapping her arms around them. The tremor was still moving through her. She could feel it in her throat when she swallowed.

Beth did not move closer. She stayed where she was, near the open edge, and looked out at the long dark plane of the desk.

“I’m not going to pretend I don’t understand why you did it,” she said after a while. “But I’m also not going to pretend it doesn’t change something between us. Because it does. If you chose him like that, you’re choosing a version of this that I’m not willing to choose. And I don’t know how to stay beside you while you keep choosing it.”

Anna pressed her forehead against her knees. The towel still smelled faintly of the detergent he used. She could still feel the heat of his palm along her spine and the way his finger had curved, just slightly, when she had braced herself against it.

She did not lift her head.

Across the room he closed something on the desk. The sound was soft and final. Neither of them looked toward it.

@manuel7777777777 There are so many little worms here~

@xietaochu She might need to invite a few friends