Best posts made by Mrgoblinging7

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The best part of waking up is….

Some days it’s not so clear, but the caffeine is great

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Kevin was tired of his nagging wife, as was his mistress Bloom. Bloom finally convinced Kevin to get rid of his wife Ally.

Bloom was sadistic and came up with the clever idea that Ally should meet her demise through Blooms backend, something Ally never gave to Kevin.

Bloom told Ally that her last meal would be crap, literally. Followed by a creamy salty desert. Her final resting place would be a watery grave in a toilet and ultimately the city sewage.

Once Ally took in the gravity of the situation, she was screaming, begging for her normal un-shrunken life back, and in exchange she promised she wouldn’t tell anyone nor would she take anything from Kevin in divorce.

Bloom believed Ally, but she just resented Ally and liked her inevitable demise more.

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It wasn’t enough to just kill her. She had to be humiliated. Not just to punish her, but to make an example to his new girl of what happens to cheaters.

((bingspaced made this for me as a request. Isn’t it just the best!? That person does good work I tell ya.))

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!Warning! Contains one (1) live Amazon, imported from the rainforest villages of Yorl on Planet Faarrrg. Dimensionally transported straight into this container, your new pet will be a mere 30% or normal human size, and may or may not be armed. Open at your own risk. Use of tranquilizing, sedating, or lust-amplifying aerosols is advised. Absent those, wear protective hand and eye coverings.

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“I knew you could do it! We’re so proud of you!”