Best posts made by littlest-lily

Chapter 20
Evie

Sometimes it’s hard to even remember there’s a whole other world outside of Aiden and me. I’ve been stuck with only one other person for so many days now that I consistently lose count. I like him, thankfully. I like him a lot. He’s my anchor, my comfort blanket. But it’s not until this moment that I realize he’s been my everything.

I reflexively cower at the sound of another voice. Somehow every time we’ve gone outside, we’ve been lucky and not run into anyone - at least, not when I was out in the open like this. The only other person I’ve physically seen since shrinking was someone who might have killed or tortured me if he had his way. The memory floods my system and I start trembling.

I can’t see her yet, but I’m starting to sense vibrations through the ground, the rhythmic thumping of approaching footsteps. This is clearly someone who knows Aiden since she called out his name, but right now he’s not reacting with recognition. He’s just staring at me, having gone very still with shock.

I need to hide.

If we had responded right away, maybe I could have made a dash for his pocket - he’s lying down so he probably could have scooped me right in without it looking suspicious. But we’ve been hesitating too long. So instead I finally leap into action and do the only thing I can think of. I dart right under the edge of the picnic blanket.

“Aiden?” The girl says again, and she’s closer now. This time he reacts. I’d ducked under where the fabric had buckled, a little cavern half held up by grass. The blanket roof quakes as the giant above me sits up.

“Oh, hey Taylor! How’s it going?”

“Not bad! I work nearby and was headed home. It’s been a while, how’ve you been?”

They’re so loud. I find myself holding my hands against my ears, trembling as I try to process what’s happening. He’s just chatting casually with a friend… Everything’s fine… I slowly get used to the volume as they talk, eventually pulling my hands away again. I didn’t realize how much Aiden has been tempering the intensity of his voice when he’s with me. It’s probably similar to how it’s become second nature for me to project my own voice more than I used to.

Gradually I calm back down as I listen to the nearby titans talk. This is an old classmate of his - I find out that they used to have an evening class together last semester. She must be a PhD student since she mentions the thesis she’s working on. I start feeling a little awkward about listening in on their conversation like this… I stare at the ground and begin idly messing with bits of dead grass and dirt, some of the grains more like pebbles to me.

I can tell Aiden’s trying to evade this and keep the conversation as short as possible. This makes me feel even more uncomfortable, and I wish I could tell him to take his time, I can wait. I haven’t caught a glimpse of her, but she certainly sounds really nice and easy to talk to… I wish…

I wish I wasn’t down here. I wish I was normal. I want to jump in, say hi, have him introduce us. Chat for a while in the sunshine. Instead I’m sitting here in the dark. In the dirt.

A couple of minutes into the conversation, I let out a quiet sigh as I reposition myself, going from crouching to sitting. I glance up as I do so and almost let out a yelp of surprise. There’s movement in the grass. A second later I see the outline of some kind of animal. It’s about the size of a small dog… but it has too many legs. I catch the shape of its head and realize it’s an ant.

I hold very still, distracted from the booming conversation in the sky by this creature that’s even smaller than I am. It meanders vaguely in my direction, like a lobster looking for algae at the bottom of the sea. I’m fascinated by the way it behaves, the erratic movements as it circumvents blades of grass. It looks completely unbothered by its place in the world, not even capable of lamenting how tiny it is. I find myself smiling at it.

“So what’s your thesis about?” I say softly, chuckling to myself. For a moment I think the ant might be reacting to the sound I made as it pivots towards me, antennae wiggling furiously. Can ants even hear? Maybe I shouldn’t find out. I keep my mouth shut.

Eventually it wanders off to the side, but with a growing sense of unease I notice it’s not alone. Two more appear, moving closer to me this time, and then there’s a fourth one. These aren’t fire ants, I think they’re carpenter ants but… can they still bite? I start carefully backing away, and they don’t quite give chase but still fill in the gap that I’d left behind. Nervously I turn and crawl deeper under the blanket, trying to find a safer spot. The fabric shifts as I push against it, creating a longer cave, until finally it collapses behind me and I’m left in a little pocket of space. At least this blocks off the ants. But now I’m really in the dark. Blades of grass press in on me from every direction, poking at my face. I’m feeling increasingly claustrophobic.

Oh, thank god. Aiden’s conversation is wrapping up.

“Well, it was good to see you! Take care.”

“You too, Taylor, have a good one.”

I feel the thudding vibrations, now growing fainter over time as she walks away, and then I hear a sigh before a fervent plea, little more than a whisper that’s further muffled by the blanket.

“Evie? Where are you? I’m so scared of crushing you right now…”

Pushing upward on the heavy fabric, I get to my feet, loudly calling, “Here! I’m right here!”

I feel movement in the ceiling. For a second I desperately pray that I’m really not about to get crushed, but then suddenly I’m blinded by light and the blanket lifts right off of me as Aiden folds it back. When my vision clears, I realize with a panic that there are at least a dozen ants that are now gathered near me, moving in every direction.

“Pick me up, pick me up!” I yell, hopping and pressing into the wall of fabric that the giant’s still holding. His other hand comes down quickly, grabbing me between his fingers a bit less delicately than usual in his haste, and I catapult upwards.

“What’s wrong, are you okay?” Aiden asks breathlessly as he rights his hand out, letting me slide onto his palm.

I try to catch my breath, peering over the side of his hand, but the ants are now harder to make out in the grass. I look out past his shoulder, catching the shadow of the other giant, at this point much further away. Then I look up at the face of my friend, who looks tense and confused.

“Y-yes,” I finally stutter, “Thank you, I’m good. You were right about bugs being scarier now… But nothing bit me, everything’s fine.”

Aiden nods, glancing to the ground. He might not even be able to make out the ants in the grass from here. “Sorry that took so long,” he says, looking at me again, and then he winces at the state I’m in. “Next time we’ll have a better plan… so that you don’t have to crawl around on the ground.”

I look down at myself and realize I’m covered in dirt. “Oh wow, yeah, I need a bath!” I exclaim with a laugh, now able to see the humor in the situation. “And I barely got any exploring in first. I suck at this.”

As if he’s gotten permission from the fact that I’m making light of it, Aiden cracks a smile too. “Nah, this is how it’s supposed to happen. You’re becoming one with nature. We’ll be able to go camping together in no time.”

We decide to go home then, and I’m relieved to retreat into the comfort of his shirt pocket as we traverse back across campus. Once I got used to it, I’ve been finding the swaying of his gait weirdly relaxing. And we can still talk when I’m in here, quiet conversations that occasionally get interrupted by him clearing his throat, signaling we’re about to pass by other people.

At one point we run into another acquaintance of his, a guy this time, although they don’t say much outside of “Oh, hey!” before they move on. I don’t even catch the dude’s name. I just hold as still as I can through the encounter and find myself wishing again that I could meet this person too.

My thoughts drift back to when I was younger and had a fuller social life. I think of my old best friend Lynne and her oversized smile - she was the best baker and gave the best hugs. I haven’t deeply thought about her, or any of my former friends, in quite a while. The list of close friends I had was short, and most of them were from before I graduated high school. Before my mom was… no longer in the picture. Things were pretty different after that. Still, even just acquaintances like my classmates and coworkers, I miss being able to talk to them.

I start standing up within the pocket the way I always do once I hear the keys go into the lock, popping my head out as Aiden steps into the apartment. The air inside is actually a little cooler than the air outside, highlighting the changing of the seasons.

“Home sweet home,” I sigh as I hop from hand to desk.

I feel so tempted to go flop onto my bed after all of that excitement, but I thankfully remember how filthy I am first. I had tried to refrain from picking bits of dried grass out of my hair while I was still in the pocket, so that I didn’t leave too much of a mess. I instinctively grab my dress around the waist, desperate to clean it and myself, before I stop myself. Yikes, I’ve gotten so used to having a giant around that I almost just stripped naked while he’s still standing right here. I know we’re pretty comfortable around each other, but that would be wildly inappropriate.

“I’ll start making lunch while you wash up,” Aiden says brightly, and I’m not sure if he could tell what I was itching to do. “Paninis alright?”

“Yesss, paninis sound amazing,” I respond, grinning up at him and trying to casually let my arms hang loose again until he eventually leaves.

I start getting a bath ready, finally able to rip my clothes off now that I’m in the bathroom. I’m still having intrusive thoughts about how Aiden might have reacted if I’d suddenly started undressing, and it makes me blush furiously with embarrassment. It’s not like he’d be able to see much detail unless he got real close. But still…

After waiting for the water to warm I slip into the ceramic tub, and then shortly after I jump at the sound of Aiden’s voice nearby.

“Just a warning - I’m about to open the window, okay? Cover your ears.”

“Okay!” I yell back and follow his advice, though I still flinch at the thunderous crack of the window opening a second later. Sounds of the outdoors drift in - cars driving by, the ebb and flow of a warm breeze, distant voices of passerby a story below.

The heavy footsteps retreat and I sink deeper into the tub, feeling an intense warmth in my cheeks that has nothing to do with the bath. He’s built this bathroom with privacy in mind, and I trust that he’s not trying to peek in here anyway. But usually he doesn’t even come close to the desk when I’m bathing. Maybe he’s also getting a little too comfortable…

Armed with clean skin and a fresh new outfit, I happily come out to eat once the food’s ready. Aiden’s cut me a tiny triangle of grilled sandwich that he’s pressed as flat as he can - I can smell the fresh herbs, the shredded chicken, sun-dried tomatoes and mozzarella… I feel really proud of him actually, and maybe a little proud of myself too. His cooking game has been on point lately and I’d like to think I had something to do with it. I still wish I could cook something for him, though. I don’t think I’ll ever not feel embarrassed about the fact that he needs to feed me like I’m his pet mouse.

We chat about his classes for a little bit as we eat, and as the conversation stalls my mind wanders to something I’ve had tucked away since this morning. “Hey, um…” I start hesitantly, “I don’t mean to pry. The girl at the park today… Taylor? Were the two of you close?"

I notice a narrowing of Aiden’s hazel eyes that he does when he looks a little perplexed. I suppose this feels out of left field. “You’re not prying. But nah, we weren’t that close. Super nice girl, she got along with everyone in that class. But we never really hung out outside of school.”

I feel a bit deflated. I try again.

“What about… um, I’m trying to remember where you’d sit in Biochem. It was always with this burlier guy, right?"

“Yes, you’re talking about Diego… Okay, that guy is one of my friends. We’ve known each other since we were kids.”

Feeling a bit more successful, I perk up and continue questioning, “What’s he like? Wait – how have you been friends for that long if you moved around so much?”

Aiden had taken another bite so he takes a second to swallow before he explains. “Our parents were friends, so I’d see him every summer when I’d visit my aunt in Arizona. We kept in touch pretty well and ended up coming to the same college. And then somehow this semester we figured out how to be in a class together despite us going for completely different careers - he goes to the nursing school here. He’s um… quite the character. I’ve known him forever so we butt heads a lot, but he’s a good guy.”

“Do you see him much outside of class?"

I’m starting to push this a little far. My giant friend tilts his head but still answers me, “A little bit, we get lunch pretty often. And he drags me to the gym every chance he gets.” His eyes narrow again as he adds, “I’m trying to figure out what you’re getting at… it looks like you have something on your mind?”

Right, okay, my barrage of questions isn’t very subtle.

“This morning, um…” I say and then sigh, “I think it just kinda hit me that you probably don’t see your friends as much as you used to.” The confession is heavy with remorse that I’m sure isn’t lost on him.

Aiden’s silent for a little bit, pausing in his eating and observing me intently with a small frown. “Please don’t worry about that,” he finally says gently, “I still see my friends. You remember, I’ve gone out to dinner with them before?”

“Yeah, like, twice…” I say, sounding more guilty by the second. “Just… please feel free to go out more than you do. I’ve got the fridge, I’ve got entertainment, I’d be fine staying on my own more often. I don’t want you to abandon your social life for my sake.”

“I… I appreciate it, Evie.” The corner of his mouth ticks up and he does that thing where he lowers his head just a bit to better meet my gaze. “But you’re my friend too, you know. I never mind spending time here with you, okay?”

Damn. His kind words never fail to make me blush.

I nod appreciatively and then swiftly find a way to change the subject. For today I forget about it all, and I manage not to think about old friends from a previous life. I have him… At least I have him.

@SmolChlo Seems reasonable to me! I would not being a fidget toy myself 🥰

@skysayl Interesting, I’m in the same boat! It’s kinda similar to how I’m not interested in fanfiction either and would much rather read original content involving size. And that’s kinda silly because it extends to fictional characters, and yet my mind has this weird blockage of “that’s not what those characters were created for, this is lacking consent somehow”. But I do especially feel that for real people (even though I completely understand that these are just fantasies and I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with it if someone else does it, just not for me).

I will say that it used to be a bit different though. When I was younger I would fantasize about YouTubers/musicians/characters from movies who I would have loved to meet/hang out with. But the key thing there was that it was (for the most part) 100% platonic and completely divorced from the kink aspect. I just thought it might be cool to be friends with them, and it added a layer of fun and vulnerability if I was tiny when that happened.

Chapter 21
Aiden

It’s been a few days since our eventful visit to the park, and while the adventure seemed to give Evie a little pep in her step at first, I can tell the pain behind her eyes is getting worse. It’s so subtle but it’s there. I see it in the way she blankly gazes out of the window, or how she’s losing interest in her studies, or her sluggishness when she’s cleaning her space. It’s getting to the point where I wonder if I need to sit her down to have a conversation about it. I’m hesitating because I’m not even sure she’s conscious of any issues herself, and every once in a while I wonder if I’m making the entire thing up. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable if I’m wrong, so I keep putting off talking to her.

School’s getting pretty busy anyways. Work’s increasingly hectic too as more and more students start showing up to my office hours, to the point that I feel like I’m teaching mini lessons for large groups outside of my usual teaching days. I try to stay ahead of my workload, knowing it’s going to get especially crazy in a few weeks as we approach final exam season.

After a particularly rough Wednesday where I finish my day way later than usual, I see a text from one of my friends as I’m about to head home, inviting me to dinner plans with a few other guys. I remember what Evie had told me about spending more time with my social circle… I wouldn’t have time to swing by the apartment first, but she should have enough lunch leftovers in the mini fridge to cover for tonight. Although that would mean her eating the same thing for lunch and dinner… I wonder if going out would be too selfish of me.

But then, the more I think about it, I don’t want to go out. Apparently when I’m feeling stressed, the selfish desire is to go home and see her… So that’s exactly what I do.

I can already feel the tension in my shoulders begin to evaporate the moment I step through the doorway and see Evie’s small figure over on the desk. She gets up from sitting in front of her phone, adorable smile at the ready.

“Did the presentation go okay?” she calls out once I’m close enough to hear.

I just want to scoop her up and bring her to the couch so I can hold her while we chat. But I keep myself in check - I only just got back, I should give her a second to transition from whatever she was doing.

“It went alright, I think,” I respond, stepping up to the table. “I’m just exhausted. Are you hungry?”

“I’m actually fine for now, I had a pretty big lunch,” she asserts. “Do you have a lot of studying to do tonight?”

I’m in the middle of pulling my wallet out of my pocket to retrieve my usual daily note. I still found a way to write a quick response between classes.

“I have a little bit to do but it can wait, I desperately need a break," I sigh. With my free hand I slowly use two fingers to walk my way across the surface of the desk towards my tiny friend. “I was kinda wanting to watch an episode of something…?” I say hopefully.

Evie laughs at my approach, matching the gait of my fingers to meet me halfway, then she playfully shoves at my hand to try and get it to flip over, which I immediately let her do. “You know I’m always down. Lead on!” she chirps, and then smoothly climbs aboard.

Yessss, I think to myself, another layer of stress melting away at the feeling of her body on my palm. I love how easily I can lift her right up… There’s just nothing like having a finger-sized friend to relax with.

Having been distracted by my precious little prize, I’d almost forgotten that I’m still holding the note with my other hand. I go to set it down into our paper mailbox, when I realize it’s already occupied.

“What’s this?” I ask, leaning in to take a closer look. Sitting in the box is a teeny tiny paper crane, only about half an inch in length.

“Oh yeah, I forgot!” Evie exclaims, holding tightly to my hand as I bend over and she goes along for the ride. “I tried origami today, I found a how-to video. I thought it could be fun to write notes inside.”

I put down my letter to delicately pick up this new creation. It’s so small… As I cup my hand, the paper bird tumbles down the length of my fingers before it comes to a stop. I hold it up to my face to try and make out the details. It’s a little on the bulky side just due to the thickness of the paper, but the folds are incredibly precise.

“That’s so cool, Evie,” I mutter, imagining her folding up this thing, in awe of the fact that to her the starting piece of paper must have still been sizable. “The only problem is I don’t think I could open this up without destroying it. I wouldn’t want to undo it anyway…”

I sense her eyes on me as I hold her at chest level and she lets out a chuckle. “I thought you’d say that. Don’t worry, I didn’t write anything in that one. I can make them bigger, that’s just the only square bit of paper I had.”

“Can I keep it?”

“Sure, knock yourself out.”

I carefully put this new adorable prize back down, letting it roll off my palm to the desk. I make a mental note to find a safe spot on my nightstand later to display it.

“Okay, let’s go veg out,” I say, straightening back up and smiling at my miniature passenger, and she eagerly nods in agreement.

Ever since a certain event I’d rather forget, I usually try to avoid putting Evie anywhere near my lap. Instead I deposit her right up on my shoulder, and she walks along the top of it with nimble, confident footsteps. I open up my laptop to power it on, making conversation with her as the computer boots up.

“So what have you been up to today? Other than learning a new origami talent?”

“I’m still trying to figure out the best way to make work gloves. I think I might need to re-learn how to crochet.”

“Hmm, not a bad idea. Need any more toothpicks or anything?”

“No, I’ve still got a few. I might need more sandpaper soon though?”

“Sure, I have some left. I’ll cut out more pieces for you after this.”

“Thanks, Aiden.”

The computer’s on now and I start navigating to the latest anime we’ve been tackling from our list, a lighthearted comedy where the main character’s trapped in a fantasy world. I feel Evie pad over to my neck and sit down right beside it, and I fight back the urge to shiver with pleasure. She keeps talking as I click.

“That woodworking forum has been inspiring though. I think I made a friend on it.” Her tone shifts a little lower. “Well, sort of. We talk most days in any case.”

I go very still. There was something about the way she said that, it’s setting off all sorts of alarm bells in my head. Something is slowly dawning on me.

“That’s great,” I say gently, “But… it’s not quite the same, is it? As seeing a friend in person?”

She leans her weight against my neck. She’s too close for me to see her but I can feel a subtle trembling, and she speaks so quietly that I wouldn’t be able to hear her if she wasn’t right below my ear.

“No.”

I close my eyes. Finally. This is it, I know it. I can tell by the strain in her voice. At long last I’m figuring out what’s been weighing on her so heavily. As soon as I have the thought it all seems so obvious.

I want to look her in the eye. I offer Evie my hand again, holding it right in front of where she’s sitting on my shoulder. “Can we talk about this?” I ask softly.

She doesn’t move right away, her whole body tensing up. I hear her take a deep, shuddering breath and I’m trying to be patient and let her climb on voluntarily. Finally, she slides forward, silently stepping onto my palm.

I bring her out in front of me and she avoids my gaze, her face a mask of calm. “It’s fine,” she says tightly, forcing a smile but still not quite looking at me. My jaw clenches at the sight. She’s closing right back up again.

“Hey, there’s no shame in admitting that you’re lonely,” I tell her, “It’s beyond understandable.”

She’s completely silent now, gazing off to the side. For whatever reason, she obviously has a lot of practice when it comes to hiding her true feelings. But she’s still not very good at it. It’s so clear to me that she was born with her heart on her sleeve, and she’s the most in her element when she isn’t weighed down by whatever pressure she’s putting on herself.

The quiet drags on and I’m beginning to feel frustrated. “C’mon, Evie, talk to me.”

“What’s the point of admitting it?” she says sharply, finally looking at me. “I can’t do anything about it anyway.”

I’m a little taken aback by the snappy tone that’s very out of character. But I keep my tongue in check and don’t miss a beat, not wanting to squander this opportunity. “Sure you can. We’ve got options. I know you didn’t have time to make friends here, but what about friends from before? Maybe we can at least set up a phone call?”

“I haven’t kept in touch with any of them. I haven’t been that close with anyone.” There’s a pain in her voice that’s unlike anything I’ve heard from her, and it hurts me to see it.

“What about that girl from when you were younger - the one who got you into anime? It sounded like you were really close with her, right?”

“I… God, I don’t even know if she’s a her anymore.”

I do a double take, not having expected this response. “Come again? You mean she’s trans?”

“Maybe? I don’t know, at one point she started talking to me about being confused about her gender. But I never really found out what came of that. My mom overheard us talking about it and… I haven’t seen her since. I had to change schools and everything.”

Yikes. I’ve gotten the impression that her mom was neglectful when Evie was a kid, but this is something else. “That’s… pretty extreme,” I say, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It was always like that. I’ve learned to deal with it. I’ll be fine, Aiden. You’ve had a long day, let’s just start the episode and forget about this. Please don’t worry about me.”

It’s true that this hasn’t started out as the relaxing evening I was hoping for. But I’m glad I decided to come home. I cup both hands around her, and with a new, very careful gesture, I brush my thumb against the side of her face.

“Of course I’m worried about you,” I insist earnestly, “Listen, I can’t be the only person you talk to for the rest of your life. Right?”

A tear spills down her cheek then, abruptly. She pulls away from my thumb and wipes at her face angrily, her movements stiff and jerky, before she lets out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried looking Lynne up on social media before with no luck, I’m not even sure that’s her… their name now. I haven’t seen them in ten years.”

My heart rate’s picking up. She seriously hasn’t had a friend in ten years? It’s not like she’s unapproachable. It’s not making any sense.

“No… no coworkers?” I attempt weakly.

“Aiden, I’ve got no one. Please. I don’t want to get into it. Please, t-trust that I’m okay. I’m still happy here. It’s fine.”

I can feel her shaking and now there’s fear in her eyes along with the pain. I don’t understand. But I finally decide to back off.

I’m silent for a few moments, desperately trying to think of a different way to help. And then an idea presents itself out of the gloom like someone trying to get my attention from behind. I consider it, turning it around in my mind, until I think it might actually be the right answer. I can only pray that Evie will be open to it.

“Okay…” I finally say. “Hear me out.”

@foreverlurk An all powerful giant can be exciting sometimes, but I think it’s much more interesting for him to have flaws and insecurities and vulnerable moments and all that jazz

@Olo I hesitate to even participate in the discussion since this feels like a sub-genre thats I’m not interested in. But I’m hoping to add my voice in some sort of support/reassurance to those who are into it, maybe?

I fall into the category of preferring death to be a threat at most. Yes, the skewed power dynamics in a sizey situation is part of the appeal for me - the fear and the domination aspect can be very exciting. But I do get very uncomfortable once things become very violent or if there’s death (I don’t necessarily mind it from a narrative perspective, just not from an erotic one). And in the past this has been a point of contention for me in the size community. Part of that I think was because I was exposed to it way too young. It was difficult during early internet to find sizey material without running into very sexual and very violent content, despite me not looking for it (from what I’ve gathered this still happens all the time even today, that’s just how the Internet is I suppose). And then a bit later on, during my RP days, I had a couple of experiences where my RP partner suddenly included death and violence without checking that I was okay with it first, and I was left very disturbed. (I’ve had several bad RP experiences though with folks who don’t listen to boundaries, I’m very aware that it’s a case of the few ruining it for the many).

I do think I’ve come a long way since then though, and it’s in large part thanks to this sort of discourse. I have found it very helpful to interact with those who are into the violent content, to continually remind me that it’s all a fantasy, and that the vast VAST majority are perfectly kind and progressive and would never actually want the horrors in fiction to become a reality. I liked the section in the blog post about having empathy for the victim in the situation, and that for many that’s the very crux of it. That makes total sense and I find it very enlightening actually. Sometimes things feel like they should be obvious, but they’re somehow not, possibly simply from not giving the subject enough thought.

It’s also helpful for me to encounter the vast variety of what people are into. Despite any internal discomfort with certain content, I’ve always tried to not kink shame. Because yes, I do like wholesome fluff in my fantasies, but I also like some of the darker elements, the domination, the dubcon and noncon, getting treated at least somewhat roughly, and even scenarios that could be considered rape. And then I have my personal boundaries. And everyone has different boundaries. Some folks might not mind some amount of injury to heighten the excitement, but draw a line at death. Some are into soft vore, others want the blood and guts. Seeing the complex and varied spectrum is helpful in and of itself to reduce judgment.

Anyway! I know I’m not alone, as someone who is not into the violence, in thinking that there’s nothing wrong with you if you ARE into the violence. For whatever that’s worth!

Chapter 22
Evie

God. How did he talk me into this?

I’m pacing along the edge of the ottoman, mechanically breathing as slow as I can. It’s not keeping my heart from practically vibrating from how fast it’s beating.

I hadn’t realized just how fragile my world feels. One misstep and everything could shatter…

I pace back and forth and back and forth, until there’s a sound coming from outside of the apartment that makes me stop in my tracks. Distant voices are echoing in the hallway, getting closer. One of them I recognize. The other one I don’t.

My stomach is twisting itself into a knot and my heart might very well explode. The jingle of keys, a sound that usually fills me with joy, might as well be a death knell. I’m all the more disoriented by the fact that I’m on the ottoman right now and not the desk as usual. The door clicks and starts opening and I hold my breath.

There she is. My new would-be friend.

And the most unexpected thought hits me. She’s so small.

Okay, that’s really dumb. Obviously she’s still massive, easily the size of a building to me. But as the two giants walk inside, I can’t help noticing that the top of the stranger’s head doesn’t even reach Aiden’s shoulder. She must be under five feet tall, quite petite to the average person. A couple of months ago I would have had to look down at her instead.

I catch sight of her face and it completely matches her delicate frame. She has deep green eyes that look so big, perhaps in part due to her smaller facial features. Freckles dust the space across her nose and below her eyes, faint yet still visible against her pale skin. Her strawberry-blonde hair is tied into a loose side braid that hangs over her shoulder with a ribbon tying it off. Despite her relatively nonthreatening appearance, the only other time I’ve seen a second person in the room since shrinking was Dr. Little, and I’m trembling–

“Evie?”

For a moment my attention is pulled away by Aiden’s voice when he steps towards me, smiling warmly as he takes the lead.

“I’d like you to meet my friend Moira,” he says, just a formality since he had already told me her name beforehand, and he slowly lowers himself to the floor by the ottoman. Even though he’s not touching me or anything, his proximity is helping my nerves to settle somewhat.

Moira follows and her eyes meet mine. If she feels any sort of shock at the sight of me, she hides it well, giving me a wide, friendly smile. She’s wearing a really cute spring floral dress, which she smoothes out before she descends onto her knees before me.

Even her voice is delicate, and she seems to intrinsically understand the need to not speak too loudly. “It’s so nice to meet you, Evie. Thanks for having me over.”

I swallow, hoping my own voice doesn’t fail me. It’s still tripping me out seeing another person like this. “It’s nice to meet you too.” Okay, good, I got it out. I might have sounded a little shaky, but I think I’m starting to calm down.

My new acquaintance seems to hesitate then, and with a quiet breath in I try to step up to the plate this time. I reach a hand out as if wanting to shake hers. She straightens up a bit but otherwise hardly flinches before her smile softens and she extends her hand to me, instinctively reaching out her index finger. I take it with a shy smile.

Holy crap… I’m actually taller than her finger. I’m so used to Aiden’s hands, and it’s strange to see one that’s quite a bit smaller - not to mention her skin’s a little softer and paler, and her nails are painted. I linger on this last part, tilting my head to take a look.

“That’s a nice color,” I remark, letting go of her finger and gesturing at the pearly dark blue, almost black hue of her fingernails.

“Oh, thanks!” she says, stretching her fingers out to look at her own hand for a second. “I know it doesn’t really match the season, but I was feeling a darker shade.”

“Aaaand it sounds like girl talk has already started,” Aiden says with a laugh. “I’ll let you two chat while I get dinner going.”

“See now, I’ve always thought Aiden would look good with a nice pastel color,” Moira says with a little smirk at the giant who’s now standing up. “What do you think, Evie, maybe a lavender?”

“Nope, nope, I’m outta here.” He’s still chuckling and I tentatively join in on the laughter, although I feel a new wave of anxiousness as I watch his figure retreat. This was part of the plan, I know he wanted to give us some time to talk, but being alone with a gigantic stranger is nerve-wracking all the same.

Moira’s gentle attention is back on me now. Her big green eyes with mile long lashes might have been unnerving if it wasn’t for the fact that this girl seems to have a resting happy face. “So Aiden tells me you’re getting him to watch Fruits Basket soon?”

Oh, good, she’s into anime too. I’ve always found a shared nerdy interest to be a great conversation starter. “Yeah, I’ve only ever watched the original when I was younger… I’ve never seen the full story so I’ve been wanting to check it out.”

“Ooo, I’ll make sure not to spoil the ending then! Which of the two guys are you rooting for?”

“Um… You know, I don’t usually like the angry types, but I remember the guy with the orange hair was growing on me…”

It’s a little awkward that we’re just kind of ignoring the fact that I’m three inches tall. But I’m honestly thankful for it. I wouldn’t have thought I could ever experience this again, simply discussing common interests with someone and seeing how our personalities mesh, nothing more. It’s nice to be momentarily unburdened by the size difference. I’m still uncomfortable with the whole thing, but the more I talk with this easygoing and charming girl, the more I loosen up.

I find out that Moira works at a local ceramic studio teaching pottery classes for kids and adults alike. She met Aiden through a Magic tournament three years ago, they bonded over some fantasy author I’ve never heard of, and then they started their own mini book club for a time. She loves animals, practices Tai Chi and plays guitar as a hobby. I feel like such a boring person in comparison, but she never acts that way, eagerly asking me questions about my interests in turn.

I’ll admit it. She’s so nice. If I was my normal size I would have already asked for her contact information and promised to take one of her pottery classes. But… can I really trust her the way I am now?

Distant sounds and smells drift over from the kitchen as we talk, but I haven’t realized how much time has passed until I notice the sound of approaching footsteps coming from behind me. An arm reaches out far over my head, holding a gigantic plate of food.

“Here you go,” says Aiden as he hands our guest her portion. “Sorry guys, that took a little longer than I thought it would.”

“No worries, this looks great,” Moira says, gratefully accepting the food from him, and then he makes another round trip to the kitchen to fetch the rest.

“‘Scuse me, Evie…” is my warning before large fingers appear from behind, slipping around my body to gently relocate me a few inches to the side. Aiden sets his own plate down on the ottoman then as we use it as a makeshift dining table.

For the first time, Moira seems to openly react to my stature. Her eyes go wide the moment I get picked up, and she’s blinking in shock even after the fact. At first I have no idea why and nervously shy backwards in confusion.

“I can’t believe how casually you just did that,” she finally says to Aiden, before bringing her attention back down to me, “Y-you’re okay being… manhandled like that?”

I guess I hadn’t really thought of it that way. “I’m fine!” I say quickly, “We kinda had to get used to that sort of thing. Just makes life a little easier.” I crane my neck back to look up at my friend sitting by my side, shooting him a smile. He looks a little embarrassed at having been called out for the spontaneous gesture, but he returns the smile anyway.

Moira looks from me to him and back again as she mutters, “No kidding…”

I walk up to Aiden’s plate, having noticed that my miniature dish and toothpick utensils are resting on the edge of it, and I take a seat to settle into the meal. It’s the homemade gnocchi I taught him how to make, along with his signature pesto sauce that I’ve had a couple of times now. I would have expected him to just cut up a few pieces for me, but it looks like he actually rolled out some tiny balls of dough before cooking them, as small as the peas that are also in the dish. They’re still bigger than softballs to me, but I appreciate the effort all the same.

“Damn, Aiden,” says Moira after she takes a bite, “I didn’t know you could cook like this.”

“I couldn’t,” he replies nonchalantly, then points down to the top of my head, “You’ve got this one to thank.” My ears go warm but I proudly sit a little taller.

Our guest covers her mouth to suppress a giggle. “Have you seen Ratatouille?”

“That’s what I said!” I exclaim.

Aiden laughs and hangs his head in mock defeat. “Alright, I get the message, I guess I need to see this movie.”

“Maybe Evie can finally get you to fill in the gaps on all the kids movies you missed out on during your sad, sad childhood.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to watch them!” he says with the feigned exasperation of a running joke. “But no one else ever wants to watch them with me.”

“I will absolutely watch them with you!” I pipe up, surprised at my own confidence as I hold my own in this conversation between titans, “Be careful what you wish for. I could marathon Disney movies all day long.”

Aiden lets out a breath of laughter and tells Moira, “Evie’s really big into animation too - clearly.” He taps me lightly on the shoulder, now directing his attention to me. “You should ask her what her hobby is.”

“Other than guitar?” I say, getting excited at the lead up.

“Yeah, I guess I have a lot of little side projects,” Moira admits, “I’m actually an animator too. If I can manage it, that’s my true long term goal, I’d love to do it for a living.”

“Whoa, seriously?” My eyes widen and I’m almost feeling a bit starstruck. “Do you do 2D or 3D?”

“Both. I’ve only started learning 3D modeling in the past year or so, but I’ve been definitely preferring working in three dimensions so it’s really become my focus. Sort of ties in with the pottery thing and the Etsy shop.”

“I didn’t know you had an online shop,” Aiden says with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah that’s a pretty recent thing too. I’ve been busy!”

I’m glad Moira and I had the chance to talk one-on-one since I otherwise would have probably been too timid to say much of anything as we eat, but instead the conversation is lively. It feels like fresh water for a withered section of my soul, slowly restoring a part of me that I didn’t realize was dying. We talk about her side hustles, then deviate into stories from past jobs, and Aiden and I pop in with tales of our own from when we were younger.

As is the norm, I don’t even manage to get through half of my plate before calling it quits. I used to feel bad about this, as if I was wasting massive amounts of food. But in reality the amounts that are left would barely register as a few crumbs to the average person.

The evening starts winding down and soon enough it’s time to draw this social event to a close. As our guest politely alludes to the fact that she should be headed home soon, I feel a warm pressure from behind. Aiden’s gently leaning the back of a finger against me, a surreptitious movement that’s actually a signal we had planned out ahead of time. I clench my hands into fists and take a quiet, steadying breath. Then, without quite looking at him, I nod.

“Before you head out, Mo…” he says slowly, “Would you want to try holding her?”

Moira starts, surprised at the suggestion. I knew I never could have made that request on my own, so I’m relying on the big guy to break the ice. Although now as I sit here with nothing more than a shy smile to offer, I feel a little ashamed for not having the courage to handle this myself.

“S-sure,” she says nervously and then she pointedly meets my gaze, appropriately bringing me into the discussion. “Is that alright with you, Evie?”

“Yeah!” I say with a slightly too-high tone of voice, getting to my feet. “It’s… I know it’s weird. But sometimes it’s, you know, unavoidable, so…”

“No, it makes sense,” she says with a half smile. “I’m just a little scared."

Scared? Of me? I take a step forward, tilting my head up at her, and joke, “I won’t bite, promise."

“No, it’s not that. Just…" She shifts uncomfortably as she keeps her eyes on me. "I don’t know… How can I not be worried about carrying a human life in my hands?”

I feel a warmth in my chest that’s melting away the fears and doubts. This right here is all it takes to realize that… yes. I can absolutely trust this girl.

After a brief pause Moira quickly adds, “I’ll be really careful. But you might need to walk me through it?"

I’m at a loss for words now, not at all prepared to give any kind of instruction. My initial experiences with getting picked up were completely at the whims of the titans who had shrunk me.

Aiden comes to rescue. “Just lay your hand flat right here," he says, clearing off Moira’s empty plate from the ottoman to give us some space.

She dutifully does so, palm side up, the tip of her fingers just an inch or two away from me. Her hand really is so much smaller than what I’m used to. The entire thing is only about as long as a hammock. For a moment I feel worried about climbing on, afraid of hurting her somehow, like trodding on someone’s foot. Until I remember how little I weigh.

I’m still nervous, but I remind myself that I’m way more used to this kind of thing than she is. In an effort to rip the bandaid off, I stroll forward as nonchalantly as I can, stepping onto her fingers and walking down the length of them. Her skin feels soft against my feet, and there’s a very subtle smell of almonds from whatever moisturizer she uses to combat the drying effect of working with clay every day.

“See?" I say, feeling a little self conscious as I stop at the center of her palm and smile up at her. “No big deal, right?”

Moira hasn’t moved at all, just looks at me with gentle awe. “I wouldn’t say that," she murmurs and matches my smile right back. I’d like to think that this is the moment our beautiful friendship officially began.

@maladaptivetiny For me it’s always about giant hands (implication not usually them belonging to an actual giant, but rather me feeling small even as I go about my daily business). Like I might tense my shoulders up a little as I imagine fingers wrapping around my body to give me a little hug. Or it’s just a finger playfully poking at me, gently stroking my back, petting my head, whatever comfort I might need in the moment. And laying under the covers might as well be laying under the warmth of an all-encompassing hand too~ I’ll still occasionally imagine other things - a pair of huge lips pressing me into the bed, or a giant eye peering in through a window, stuff like that.

Sometimes my daydreams are more like “work” though - I plan out a lot of my writing on a walk or in the shower, just thinking about a scene I’m planning with my characters and letting it play out in my mind. I have a google doc full of notes and quotes for future scenes of stuff I’m writing so that I can jot down any revelations on my phone, I never know when inspiration might strike.

Most of the time it’s all pretty PG in my head, but sometimes my mind will wander with the idea of shrinking smaller and smaller and smallerrr, or getting pinned down by a finger with a bit more dominance that whatever gentle fun is usually happening otherwise.

@SmolChlo Eeee best of luck telling him, from the sound of things I think he’ll find it cute! The security system story filled me with so much joy you have no idea (and also is giving me ideas…)

Chapter 27
Aiden

“Can you hold this part together?”

“Like this?”

“Yeah, perfect! Okay, don’t move.”

I hold very still, bracing the heel of my hand against the surface of the table as I pinch two long pieces of balsa wood together at a perpendicular angle. Evie picks up one of her makeshift nails, the short end of a staple that she’s somehow broken off. She selects one of her tiny tools, one that I don’t think I’ve ever seen before, a little hammer of some kind. The handle is clearly a piece of toothpick, like with most of her tools, but the head isn’t made of any material that I’ve given her.

“Is that the stuff Moira brought over?” I ask, wanting to lean in to get a closer look but afraid my hand will shift if I move.

“Yup! A rubber polymer clay, apparently,” she says, lining the staple up just so. “It works really well, watch.”

And sure enough, using what’s probably more akin to a rubber mallet, she easily hammers her “nail” into the soft wood within seconds. She does this a couple more times along the edge of the plank and then says, “Alright, you can let go now.”

I do so, carefully pulling my hand away from the wide L-shaped structure that now stands up on its own. “Eyy, look at that!” I can finally lean in to get a better look, so impressed with all the miniature tools Evie’s been able to cobble together out of the simplest of materials.

“It’s not much,” she sighs, though she’s crossing her arms with some satisfaction. “Got a long way to go before making furniture. I still wonder if I’d be better off using glue, but I’d definitely want some PPE before I go there. Oh, speaking of which!"

She hurries over to one of the dollhouse shelves she uses to store her clothes and picks up a new garment. It’s made of a super fine yarn, although in her hands the blue thread looks a lot chunkier. As she walks back over she pulls it onto her head with a grin - it’s some kind of beanie-looking hat. She looks like she’s ready to go on a magical winter adventure.

So. Freaking. Precious.

“Did you knit that?” I marvel, and without thinking I reach out and gently touch it, giving her head a little pet.

“Crochet,” she responds, leaning into my touch proudly. “Only needed to carve one hook that way, and I used to crochet stuff as a teenager so it was easier to re-learn.” I pull my hand away and she readjusts the hat, tucking a strand of hair to the side. “This is just a practice project. But it’s the first step to getting some work gloves!”

You’re amazing, I almost say. But I know if I said it out loud it would have come out too intense.

Evie strikes a couple of poses like a fashion model and adds, “Think I look like Mrs. Peacock?”

I beam at her. “Is that the first one you want to play tonight?”

“Yeah, I love Clue!”

“Okay then - I’ll be right back.”

I actually need the breather I get during the quick trip to my bedroom closet. Seeing her looking so adorable in her teeny tiny hat has left my heart aching. A very different body part is starting to ache too, but as usual whenever I have to sneak off like this, I’m able to take a few deep breaths and calm back down. I reach up to the high shelf to carefully slide off the entire stack of board games I own, unsure of how many we’ll get through tonight, and I bring them back to the living room.

I’m a little disappointed that Evie took the beanie off, though she’s just as much of a cutie as her normal self. She’s currently on her notepad and busy writing something in the corner.

“What’s that?” I ask, setting the pile of games down on the floor.

“I’m making my own version of the notepad from the game.” She sits upright on her knees, looking down at her list and frowning. “I’m forgetting a weapon.”

I fish Clue out of the stack and bring it up onto the desk, sitting down and looking over Evie’s shoulder. I lean in and squint at the tiny lead marks on the page.

“Yeaaah, I can’t read that,” I say with a chuckle.

“Good, I won’t need to worry about hiding it then. Oh right, the candlestick!” She hunches back over to continue writing.

Even though the little camp on the desk barely takes up half of its surface, it still doesn’t leave us a ton of space for the game box and board, so I’m very careful as I start unpacking everything. “I’ve never played with only two players, is that even possible?” I wonder aloud.

“Yes, there’s a special way to do it - I’ll show you once everything’s shuffled…”

We set the game up together, and I’m grateful for her explanation of the rules since it’s been a while and I need a refresher. Evie drags over the wooden tray we’ve just built to lean her cards against so that I won’t be able to see them. The plain colored pawns are about half her height, and she shouldn’t have too much issue with carrying the plastic weapons and throwing the dice. It might still be quite a workout for her to play, so I’m already prepared to help move things around for her if she looks tired.

“Lynne and I would play this as kids,” Evie reminisces, “She had a really cool set that had proper minis for the pawns. I don’t know if they even make them that way normally.”

“That’s always nice when a game company puts in that level of attention to detail,” I say. I deal out the cards, placing hers face down in front of her, and she begins transferring them to the tray.

I’m suddenly struck with a thought.

“Evie.” I’m trying to contain my enthusiasm, wondering if she would even go for this. “Have you ever considered painting minis? Like, to sell?”

Her eyes slowly widen. Of course she’s just as familiar with this stuff as I am, probably more so. Whether it’s for playing tabletop RPGs or just to display, there’s a whole market for finely detailed figurines. “Aiden, you’re a genius. That’s so much easier than building dollhouse miniatures. And people actually spend money on that stuff.”

“I know! The demand is there and you’d be so good at it right now. I know it’s not quite woodworking…”

“That’s okay, it can be a stretch goal! If I can start selling minis maybe that’ll help fund some better tools for the rest… Oh my god, I’m so excited. I know what I’ll be doing tomorrow, there’s so much to plan and research. Dude, thank you!”

I feel like a straight up superhero right now. She looks so hyped that I almost suggest we put our game night on hold so that she can start planning this stuff. But if anything she seems even more keen on playing in some kind of celebratory gesture, so we finally jump into it.

Watching Evie running around all over the board is just as adorable as I thought it’d be. Even her holding the fake weapons, like a pistol that looks more like a shotgun to her, is somehow the cutest thing. We get really into it, and despite the adapted 2-player rules we have a decent sense of what the other person is figuring out about the details of the fake murder.

At the end it becomes a race to make the final accusation as we both clearly have figured out the scene of the crime. I roll too low to make it to the room so Evie gets there first.

“I accuse…” she says, a little out of breath from moving the pawn so far, “Colonel Mustard… in the ballroom… with the lead pipe.”

I raise an eyebrow at her, gesturing towards the case file envelope so she can see if she’s right. She pries it open, practically crawling inside so that she can drag the cards out, and peers underneath them at the answer.

“Noooooo!” she cries out dramatically, falling to her knees and hanging her head.

I grin and pick up what I now know is the correct murder weapon, placing it right next to her. “It was the knife, wasn’t it?”

“My hubris!” she exclaims, continuing the theatrics by splaying herself onto her back, although we’re both laughing at this point. “It was a 50-50 shot.”

“It was a team effort,” I suggest, leaning forward to look straight down at her from above.

“Don’t patronize me,” she growls, crossing her arms and smirking. “You win this one. Enjoy it before I kick your butt at checkers.”

“You’re on.”

We start cleaning up, gathering the cards and pawns. I don’t even see my mistake when it happens. My eyes are looking for where the die went as I lift up the completed card deck… and I feel one of my fingers collide against something, hitting sharply against the nail. My attention is jerked back towards Evie, who is now sprawled onto her back again, this time not of her own accord. Her eyes are wide with shock.

“Crap,” I say breathlessly, my heart suddenly racing. “Are you okay?”

“I’m… um…” she says, and with some difficulty she pushes herself to sitting while raising a hand up to her ear.

“Did I just hit you in the head?” I’ve pushed my chair back now, kneeling onto the floor by the desk. Trying to keep from panicking.

She looks a little startled by my reaction and forces a smile. “I’m fine. It’s okay. That was totally my bad, I stepped towards you without paying attention.”

“I’m the one who should have been paying attention!” I say shakily, having trouble not raising my voice. “Can you see okay? Are you nauseous?”

“I don’t have a concussion, Aiden,” she laughs, but she pulls her hand away and I hate how red her ear looks. “It wasn’t nearly hard enough for that. I’m a bit… woozy? But I’ve had way worse before, it’s no worse than stubbing a toe or something.”

I can’t help it. Even though my own hands are at fault I use them now to gently gather her up between them. I sit back on my heels, bringing Evie in closer, examining every inch of her - all three of them. She lays on her back in my hand and I just pray that the sweet smile she’s giving me is truly genuine.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper.

“You’re fine,” she insists. “I’m actually shocked this is the first time something like this has happened.”

“And the last,” I say firmly.

“Sounds good.” She rolls onto her side now, settling into the dip of my palm and letting her eyes droop to a close. “Just give me a minute and I’ll be back to normal… Or maybe I should just take a nap. You’re so comfy.”

I don’t know what to say so I sit in silence, watching her intently. It feels like my mind is splitting as too many thoughts rush in.

How could I do this to her?
Is it a bad sign if she falls asleep?
My phone’s on the couch in case this gets dire.
You piece of shit, Aiden.
What if she actually hates me?
Maybe I should get her some water.
Did she just call me comfy?

“Relax,” Evie murmurs, and despite how small her voice is it makes me flinch. Her eyes are still closed. “I promise I’m alright.”

“I… I know…” I say, unconvinced.

“Your hands are shaking.”

“R-right…”

I should probably put her down, but I can’t stand the thought of it right now. I manage to take a deep breath in and slowly turn around so that I can brace my arms against the couch as I continue sitting on the floor. I stare at the flushed color of her miniscule ear, and I’m so full of self loathing I could implode. God, and here I was just telling her to be careful when she was on her bathroom roof the other day. Turns out I’m the only menace here.

Evie’s voice pipes up again. “I accuse… Aiden Jasper… in the living room… with his pinkie nail…”

She successfully drags a feeble laugh out of me. I appreciate her showing me she’s still conscious despite keeping her eyes closed. She does sound okay…

Once I’m convinced that I’m not trembling so much, I cautiously slip my free hand over her delicate frame. I’m not exactly sure what my goal is here, but she immediately reacts to my touch, snuggling into my fingers like they’re a blanket.

“Oh yeah, that’s the stuff,” she purrs.

I don’t even know if this is wholesome or sinister. I’m trying to comfort her, but I’m also taking advantage of the situation, aren’t I? And she’s letting me take advantage. She’s… encouraging it…

Evie keeps talking softly, helping me stay in the present. “Oh, I forgot to ask - is it okay if I go shopping with Moira on Thursday? It’ll just be in the area, no car or anything. I should actually be back before you get home.”

I frown. “Yeah, of course. You don’t need to ask for permission… That’s why she has a key.”

“Sure. I still want to keep you in the loop.”

We continue talking quietly for a while, her voice gradually regaining strength. Soon her eyes are open again, and my nerves settle, and our chat becomes truly casual. Except for the fact that my hands are still all over her. I never want it to end.

I keep thinking about this, I just… LOVE it when kind (or at least kind-ish) giants are so enthralled with the tiny. Whether sweet and gentle, overly enthusiastic, playfully dominating, whatever, I just can’t get enough of them adoring being so much bigger than me 🥰

As someone who both draws and writes, the infatuation with the AI stuff freaks me out a wee bit. And it all does feel a bit off to me, it hasn’t been the highest quality content imo, at least not yet. So I suppose I don’t really see the “point” in sharing stuff like that?

But I do get that it’s novel and interesting, I’ve played around with some of it and it can be entertaining. I don’t judge anyone for having fun with it. And I suppose I see some merit in artists being able to automate certain parts of their creative process and how AI might be able to help with that, maybe.

As far as posting here (not that it’s my call of course), I think if it’s clearly labeled as AI generated then… sure? Though if these forums became flooded with it I’m sure I’d feel frustrated as I personally don’t really have much interest in it, I’d much rather see actual artists get promoted. But that’s just my 2 cents!

Holy crap So much ground was covered in more ways than one!

Chapter 28
Evie

With some effort, I get up onto my tiptoes so that I can see over the edge of a slender hand. It’s a bit of a struggle to keep my footing in here. Moira has stuffed her purse with empty water bottles and topped it off with some soft cloth, so that I can hitch a ride without getting completely lost in her bag. I don’t actually verbalize this, but I think I do prefer being in a shirt pocket than this. Maybe that’s only if it was Aiden, though… In any case, I’m plenty comfortable, just a bit unsteady in this wider space.

“Maybe something cooking related?” Mo whispers down to me, pointing at a store window. “Since you guys spend time in the kitchen together?”

“Good idea! I’m not sure he really needs anything like that, but… Still, mind if we go inside?”

“Not at all!”

We’ve been at it for a good half hour now. The outing itself is nice, but I’m also on a very important mission. We’re nearing the end of April and Aiden’s birthday is on May 5th. Even though I hardly have anything left in my bank account, I want to do something for it, and with Moira’s help I can actually get him some kind of gift.

The retail strip we’re exploring is just on the west side of campus, so most of it consists of places to eat for college students to grab between classes. But there’s a little convenience store, some apparel ones, a place for office supplies, and - randomly enough - this kitchen shop.

It’s still late morning so we’re not quite dealing with the lunch rush, but there are enough people walking around that I do feel a bit nervous. With Moira being so short and with me being in a more open space, I keep getting scared that someone will see me in her bag. My friend quickly noticed my discomfort and has zipped her purse up most of the way so that I can duck down into the darkness whenever I get too worried.

The ding of the door opening startles me, and I slip out of sight as a too-eager employee greets Moira and offers her assistance. After some heavy insistence that she’s just browsing, we’re finally left to our own devices in exploring the near-empty shop. It’s actually kind of fun to look at all of the cookware and appliances, although the vast majority of it is way out of my budget. I long for the days where I could have actually used all of these pots and pans and slow cookers and ice cream makers. I miss being able to make my own food from start to finish, and it’s nice to escape a little bit into this culinary world.

Some of it feels extra intimidating, though. There are some fancy knives on display that are as long as flag poles and give me swells of anxiety. Even the blenders and food processors have blades that look absolutely deadly to me. Thankfully we don’t linger on any of this since my larger friend seems to get that these sights might make me uneasy.

Glancing around to make sure we’re alone, I pipe up when we get to the stand mixers, pointing towards one that has a bread hook installed. I could easily fit right up in the curve of it. “How long do you think I could ride that hook before throwing up?” I stage whisper, grinning up at Moira.

She suppresses a laugh, and then she carefully lifts the bag I’m in a bit higher so I can see what’s on the next shelf up. There’s an electric citrus press, the kind where you push down with the orange on top and the entire thing spins. “How about this?” she mutters, “I bet if you sat on the edge here it might be a pleasant ride.”

“Oh yeah, that sounds nice! Until my inevitable doom approaches as the juice rises higher and higher…”

And now we’re both trying not to laugh at the visuals we’re conjuring up. Okay, this is fun and all, but I’m not seeing anything that could work well as a gift for Aiden. Maybe this store was a bust after all. There’s one last small display of non-perishable foods that we take a quick look through first.

“I’ve never taken him as a coffee guy…” Moira muses.

“No, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him drink any. Alas.”

“Did you want to get some for yourself?” she suggests.

“That’s alright, it would take up too much space, plus it would take me a decade to finish a bag on my own… I don’t miss it that much."

My eyes scan the entire display, looking up at the novelty pasta shapes, all the way to the spices and seasonings. That’s when I finally get an idea. I remember something that my roommate mentioned to me once, a while back. I voice my musings to Moira and she loves the thought, offering to pick something up for me the next time she’s at the grocery store. And then we’re back outside, walking down the street as she talks excitedly.

“I don’t want to intrude at all on your gift,” she says, “but if you like I could make a container for you to put it in! I still needed to think of a present for him, so…”

“No, that would be perfect! I’ll need your help with the rest of the plans anyway, it can all be from the both of us.”

Our conversation is interrupted as she stops abruptly from a door opening and almost whacking into her. She rears back and I tumble, grabbing fistfuls of fabric as I slip along the side of the cloth-covered water bottle, only barely managing not to fall into the depths of the purse. Even as I’m furiously trying to climb back up to a more stable spot I’m also scuttling backwards, trying to make sure I’m out of sight.

Whoever was exiting the restaurant is apologizing profusely now, with Moira trying to reassure him that she’s fine. It’s through this exchange that I’m realizing how many other voices are passing by us. When did it get this crowded? I guess we’re getting closer to lunch time…

With her awkward conversation out of the way, I hear a whispered “Are you okay?” from above, but I’m too scared to answer. The zipper just over my head starts inching back and I can see shadows of the giants passing by like a towering herd on migration. Fearfully I just keep backing up, trying to stay under the part that’s zipped closed. In all of the commotion I’m beginning to feel panicked.

Thankfully, Moira stays much more level headed than I do. To my relief she doesn’t insist on trying to talk to me, instead reversing course with the zipper until the bag is mostly closed again and I can finally take a breath. Quick on her feet, she reaches into the outside pocket of her purse and pulls out her phone. It takes me a second, but I figure out her idea of having a pretend phone conversation so that she can speak to me openly.

“Hey, Evie! Yeah, I’m already here, it’s a lot more crowded than I thought it’d be.” She pauses briefly as the fake me silently responds. “I know, I was hoping we could eat outside or something, but I’m not sure it’ll work out. I live near campus, on the north side, would you be down for going back to my place?” Pause. “Alright, just think about it, and if you’re still okay with that sandwich place, text me your order and I’ll go grab it. See you soon!”

And then instead of putting the phone back in its usual spot, she slips it into the purse itself, slowly and carefully so as to not blindly knock into me. I notice she has a note-taking app open and ready for me to type in.

I smile and begin crawling over to the dim light of the phone so that I can write a message in response. I tell her that I’m happy to go back to her place instead, and that I’m fine with any kind of sandwich except for tuna salad. A minute later, Moira’s hand cautiously returns to retrieve the phone and our new plan goes into motion.

It takes another thirty minutes or so to go get the food and then make our way to my giant friend’s place. Once we exit the more crowded streets, she briefly ducks into an alley just to make sure I’m still alright with all this and to assure me that none of her roommates should be home. I’ve never been to her apartment, but I know she lives with three other girls, so I’m glad for the head’s up.

“Okay… we’re here… Sorry about all that,” Moira sighs as we get into her room. She sets the purse on her bed and reaches in for me, gently gathering me up so she can put me on her bedside table. She’s still a little hesitant and overly careful, but she’s gotten way better at handling me over the past couple of weeks.

“No worries!” I say as I climb off her fingers, “I used to go eat in that area all the time so I should have known better. Thank you for handling it so well, Mo. Sorry, I was kinda freaking out.”

I take a look around the room, marveling at the new location. Even from my perspective I can tell the area is a lot more limited than Aiden’s - there are two beds in this room and hardly enough space for a small desk that houses Mo’s computer and nothing else.

It’s cozy, though. There’s a boho vibe and so much stuff everywhere- paintings of flowers, an acoustic guitar hanging on the wall, a potted plant hanging in the corner in a macrame basket. I bet she did the macrame herself, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was yet another hobby of hers. Her roommate’s side of the room is so plain compared to this half that’s full of color.

“I love your space!” I exclaim eagerly.

“Thanks! Pardon the mess,” she laughs, and she reaches over to scoot aside a glass bottle containing a single flower that’s next to me, in order to give me some more room.

We enjoy lunch from our spots on the bed and the nightstand as we keep discussing our mutual friend’s upcoming birthday. I’ve already started prepping something for the day of, and it’s been a challenge to keep things a secret from Aiden with my life on full display. I’m really going to need Moira’s help to pull it all together.

“I just hope that gift will be enough…” I fret, picking at my sandwich like a squirrel.

“I’m sure he’ll love it! Especially since he’s probably not expecting anything from you. Even his other friends, we don’t usually do much to celebrate his birthday since the timing’s always awkward with their final exams.”

“All the more reason for me to do something nice,” I say with a sigh, hanging my head. “He’s just done so much for me… I know I can never repay him, but I wish I could better show how much I appreciate it. What gifts have you gotten him in the past?” I lift my head again hopefully.

Mo sets her sandwich down on the plate in her lap. She gazes down at the bedsheets for a second as she thinks. “Since we both read the same kinds of stuff, I’d usually get him a new book…”

It’s a little late for me to get into the fantasy novels that they both enjoy. That would probably feel a little forced anyway. After a long pause I ask, “Do you know about any past girlfriends of his?”

That came out a bit more awkwardly than I’d meant it to. Moira doesn’t answer right away but her big green eyes are fixed on me, a growing smile appearing on her face.

“What?” I ask self consciously.

“Nothing. Just wondering why you’re asking.”

“Because I’m curious what types of things they might have gotten for his birthday,” I insist, kicking myself for having gone down this path.

“Right, right. Um, I don’t think he’s dated since he was in undergrad. He hasn’t had a girlfriend since I’ve known him at least.”

“Gotcha…”

I stare at the floor of the nightstand, deep in thought. Seconds pass and when I look up again, Moira’s still watching me with a smile.

“What?” I ask with a nervous laugh.

“Nothing!”

“Clearly it’s not nothing?”

The smile grows wider. “I’m trying not to call you out on how red your face is right now.”

Crap. I hike my knees up as if to hide behind my legs, curling in on myself instinctively. My natural response is to immediately go on the defensive. “I-I… I don’t… We’re not like that.”

My friend’s voice is gentle, like she’s trying to lure a cat out of hiding. “I figured you weren’t. Not yet at least…?” She cocks her head to the side, trying to get a read on me. “Sorry, if I actually am completely off base, I’ll stop.”

“It…” I struggle to speak. But she’s been nothing but supportive and trustworthy, and it coaxes a response out of me that I wasn’t quite expecting. “It can’t be like that. You know?”

Moira frowns at my tone. “No. I don’t. Why can’t it be?”

I can feel my cheeks flushing further. I only barely manage to not bury my face into my knees. “Really? I mean… Be serious, Moira. Look at me.”

And she does. She sets her plate to the side of her cross-legged seat and leans in closer, settling her forearms into her lap as she lowers her head. “Let’s see here… I see someone who’s really sweet. Really fun to hang out with. Who’s as much of a nerd as the rest of us, which is bonus points. Super pretty. What’s not to like?”

I squirm at both the compliments and the refusal to acknowledge the obvious. “Just… I mean, logistically there’s just so much that couldn’t work…”

“I’d say you’ve figured logistics out pretty well so far.”

“That’s different. Moira, there’s no way he could see me as remotely attractive. It makes no sense.”

She frowns again. “You really don’t think he might find you cute?”

I let out an exasperated exhale. “I mean, he might think I’m cute the way he thinks a puppy’s cute. Seriously. How is anyone this small supposed to… to satisfy a man? It’s impossible.” This time I do bury my face into my knees, muffling my voice. “God, I’m embarrassed just thinking about it.”

After a moment I feel a soft pressure from Moira’s fingertips against my back. “I’m sorry, Evie. I didn’t mean to stress you out. I just don’t want you to sabotage yourself when you’re not even sure where his mind’s at…” She pulls her hand away and delicately continues. “But I guess the more important question is, how do you feel about him?”

I lift my head just enough to look at her. I trust her to keep this conversation private, but still… what a monumental question. I’m not sure I’m ready to answer it.

“I don’t know…” I finally say, “I do like him a lot, but I don’t know if it’s in that way. Maybe.” I slowly uncurl myself again, matching Moira’s cross-legged stance instead. “But none of it matters anyway. I swore off of dating a long time ago. Not to mention, can you imagine how complicated things would get if this went poorly? I’m too… dependent on him. I really can’t afford for this to go badly.”

That last bit slipped out. As much as I hate to admit it, there’s a part of me that still sees my relationship with Aiden as transactional. That if I’m on my best behavior and do my utmost in helping out where I can, maybe I can somehow earn the shelter and care that I so desperately need from him. I don’t want that to take away from the friendship that has also formed, but that’s just my reality.

I feel a little dizzy as the what-ifs flood my brain, and I continue to confide in the gigantic girl before me. “I’m aware that my relationship with him is weird and it can’t go on forever like this. It’s just so overwhelming to think too far ahead…”

Moira’s sigh is sympathetic and she straightens back up. “Then don’t. Just enjoy what you have right now, see what comes. And listen… the both of you are good people, I’m sure you’ll work things out no matter what happens. But if anything were to go south, you’ve got me now too.” She glances towards the other bed that’s just a few feet away as she adds, “It might be a bit complicated with my roommates, but if you ever need some time away, even for a little bit, just say the word and we’ll figure something out.”

I manage a smile. To willingly reveal my existence to three more people doesn’t feel like an option. But the offer means more to me than she could ever know. “Thanks, girl. And I’m sorry to put you in the middle and make you keep secrets from him…”

“Oh, it’s fine. Hell, I was the one getting nosey.”

From that point I swiftly change the subject as I remember my exciting new business prospect of painting minis. Mo shares in the enthusiasm, eagerly offering to show me the ins and outs of online shopfronts and share tips from her own small business. We spend a lovely afternoon together. And all of my confusing feelings remain firmly out of mind.

I definitely love the idea of doing something with this. Depending on how badly the tiny needs it, she might need a much more gradual approach.

Here’s my 14 day program:

1. Chat with the giant via video chat, just go get to know them
2. Chat with the giant in person, from the other side of a safety barrier
3. Chat with the giant without barrier but with a respectable distance
4. Chat with the giant while he has his hand on the table, but without touching
5. Practice touching his hand (he doesn’t move)
6. Practice sitting in his hand (he doesn’t move)
7. Practice giant doing light touching (aka handshake, high five, etc)
8. Practice climbing into his hand and him lifting it up
9. Practice sitting in his hand while he loosely wraps his other hand around her for safety
10. Practice him standing up while holding her
11. Practice him walking around while holding her
12. Practice him wrapping his fingers around her with the purpose of lifting her up (very slightly)
13. Practice him picking her up with purpose of transferring her to his palm to carry her around as usual
14. Practice him picking her up and walking around without her needing to be sitting in his palm

Congrats! You’ve finished the basics of giant exposure therapy. Have fun with your new large friend. Next time we’ll be practicing sitting in unconventional places, such as in his pocket, his lap, and his shoulder.