@giant-me if you want a relationship, it’s certainly never too late for it! Of course there are people who no longer care to play the “dating game” and are more content living on their own - and hey, if that’s you, that’s totally fine. Your negative feelings about love are completely valid, especially after all you’ve been through. You don’t have to worry about venting in front of me or other die-hard romantics. Please speak freely 
I know I’m EXTREMELY lucky that I found my husband. Relationships seem to be something that many people struggle with in this community, which is why I try and speak openly about mine. I want to normalize it. I didn’t have hope I’d find happiness growing up because of my fetish. Hell, there were moments I felt like that after I got married too! Hopefully a positive example can encourage other people to explore their kinky relationships too! But hey, it wasn’t love at first sight with my husband and I. We worked a real long time at what we have. I don’t have doubts anymore, but we’ve been a couple for 15 years now! We’ve had a lot of opportunities to make mistakes lol. 
I’m sorry you don’t have a lot of support in your life. That’s one area that I could relate to until my husband came into my life. I’ve struggled since I was a child connecting with either of my parents, and was having suicidal thoughts by my early 20’s. There were somethings that I went through, like sexual abuse as a child for example, that my parents just brushed off. There are other cold scenarios like this with my parents and I, where you would hope they would either defend, console or sympathize at all, but they didn’t. The tl;dr is that going into adulthood, no one had my back except my husband. I honestly feel THIS is the reason I’m lucky.
Part of the reason I’m moving to Japan is to get some freakin’ peace from my family.
Even now, as I slowly approach middle age, I have to keep reminding myself that the relationship I want with my parents will never happen. We can’t always choose which relationships we get in life, or when they end, but I at least hope you’ve had a few good ones.