@kisupure Nice misdirect with the opening Manual excerpt. I was partially expecting Gray to be promoted.
Also surprised that Gray reported the sentinel’s calling off the pursuit. It doesn’t incriminate her in any way, but it does put a spotlight on his loyalties.
Did . . . Gray rub one out after her stroll and before her nap?
@kisupure said in Petrichor - a novel in "open beta" - [M/f, minigiant, post-apocalyptic dystopia, slavery, military setting]:
The enlisted/officer divide is a staple of military fiction, but what was once rooted in static social classes became more permeable with the rise of “professional” soldiers and recruitment. With the Disruption sending us back to serfdom, however, a battlefield commission is less a promotion than an ennobling.
Corpsmen are still enslaved, as Finch’s lack of good choices demonstrates. Captains leading armed bondsmen aren’t quite overseers or feudal lords, but the 'Naks and harsh environment seem to provide the rest of the discipline necessary to keep the corpsmen loyal. Until now, that is.
Still, Gray suddenly didn’t like how [Wesson] was taking up space.
Not as much space as some do…
animal impiety
Nice.
As far as I can tell, you haven’t disturbed the conventional wisdom that there are no female Anakim, but you have allowed that it might not be possible to engineer an humanoid effectively for combat without giving it a libido. I don’t suppose I have to remind you how non-neutered adult human males have historically behaved in prolonged single-sex environments.
What does fear pheromone smell like to other 'Naks? Pleasant? Noxious? Undetectable? Is suppression against orders?
@kisupure said in Petrichor - a novel in "open beta" - [M/f, minigiant, post-apocalyptic dystopia, slavery, military setting]:
What was he doing? His words were plain, but they were slippery, muddy, hiding things. Is this how he talked to Finch for a whole week? He made this seem so strangely urgent, like she was running out of time.
Like the pheromone, she can detect the foreboding but she cannot see the cause.
@Deedee There’s a long way to go in helping straight men develop better physical self-images, but a necessary step is embracing the (straight) female gaze in every element of society, including fetish porn.
What a fucking bastard.
I really like how you hint at the (pre-shrinking) history between Andrew and Nia without giving us more than we need to know. Similarly, we get to imagine for ourselves the range of tortures and humiliations he inflicted upon her, which of course makes them worse.
“Before you always looked down on everyone…so we made it so you could never do it again…"
That “we” is highly intriguing…
On a technical note, I wonder if the narrative might flow better if all the action was in the past tense rather than the present. This could easily be just a matter of taste, but to me it would feel more organic and less like, say, the transcript of a roleplaying session. YMMV.
Also, “you’re” instead of “your.”
But yeah, he really played her desperation like a fiddle, and it was delicious.
@giant_feelings That seems like something I’d show off.
@blehb When you’ve got subjects of vastly different sizes, it’s often difficult to get all of the Biggo in frame. Nonetheless, I am typically less compelled by a Size image where I can’t see the Biggo’s expression.
In a non-Size context, I have no use for headless or faceless porn images. Not interested in the slightest.
Oh, that was nice. His hands on her spine and the back of her head were the best. And of course dialogue is the best way to explore characters. I’m pretty sure no human ever gets used to a Nak’s voice.
“W-we’ve got forty minutes,” was the first thing she said. Gray could have smacked herself for how unsexy of an opener that was.
Honey, he’s here. You don’t need to close the sale.
“Spoken like a true corpsman.”
How would you know, Traitor?
Booker rumbled deep in his chest
Um, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced.
something told her that he hadn’t risked life and limb just to get her off
You never know.
gentle and mealy
Such a nasty thing to say.
She glanced up, suddenly sheepish and feeling very, very small now.
Aaand now you have your next illustration.
Gray was still busy swallowing the last of his cum as she went to sit beside him.
I guess now she can afford to swap her daily protein ration for a friday.
“Let’s do that again,” he said.
[Moonstruck Cher:] “Snap out of it!”
They are so doomed.
@SmolChlo It occurs to me that I’ve never written any protracted M/f content, gentle or violent. Hmm…
