Best posts made by Olo

This grabbed my attention from the start. We got a lot of good detail about Kimberly’s captivity, and I always appreciate tinies dwelling on their distress and inconveniences. More importantly, you’ve established Kimberly’s voice, which is crucial for us to care about what happens to her.

Another revealing aspect is how your dialogue is only half the conversation; the eye directions, facial expressions, and body language are at least as important as what is said. Being introduced to Kimberly in the box adds an important dimension to her reactions in the club. It’s a common device, but you use it well.

Aaron seems a right bastard, so it will be dismaying to see Kimberly fall into his clutches. More rewarding will being see her go through the contortions to accommodate her new reality.

@smolchlo She does look pretty sour.

Go to this post by Minimaidens for a 50-second video with sound

@kisupure You are really good at increasing the tension while keeping us focused on all the stakes. I also admire that for every mystery you remove (Sentinel’s got a crush!), you add another (why is the fear pheromone inconstant?). I also liked the detail of the local gentry having an embassy with Fox’s commander. So neo-feudal.

Gray lying to save her skin and put Kessler in the soup was cold. She better not wind up in the same foxhole with him later.

A little aerial recon would go a long way in this setting. Did I miss an explanation for its lack?

I’m glad you explained “nalezing.” At first I was afraid the sisters-in-arms were being ordered to stand down.

Couple of cavils:

“Better not be any spiders in here,” she whispered, thinking on the irony of being killed by a brown recluse in the middle of this.

I’m afraid you failed to describe Gray finding a crevice for cover before she was already in it.

As much as [Gray] hated the Corps . . .

When did that happen? It was my impression that Gray thought of the Corps as the last best hope, both for her and for humanity.

Illustration prompt: Sentinel wincing as he’s shielding Gray and taking the shrapnel.

@giant-me These are lovely, but I must cavil:

Cotton swabs are excellent for caressing tinies or applying lotion (or sauce), but be aware that dry cotton does not feel pleasant inserted into a vagina, rectum, or mouth. I typically slick the swab up in my mouth, or even break the cotton off, before going to work on her holes.

Tall, Plain Boyfriend

@kisupure Keep the spiders where they are, just add a sentence before it, describing how Gray found an arroyo in the dark.

@shrunkenlaura Right. If it’s a reward, you get to determine the pace.

I hate bald boys

@kisupure 9th-years. Oh yeah, that makes sense. Should be some snappy jargon to refer to “graduates.”

Regarding Gray and her “hatred” of the Corps, it’s perfectly reasonable for her to resent the Corps as its regulations impinge more and more upon her interest in the sentinel. It’ll be totally subconscious, tho.

We’re going to need months and months of observations before this study is concluded. Then there’s the peer review…

@kisupure Nice misdirect with the opening Manual excerpt. I was partially expecting Gray to be promoted.

Also surprised that Gray reported the sentinel’s calling off the pursuit. It doesn’t incriminate her in any way, but it does put a spotlight on his loyalties.

Did . . . Gray rub one out after her stroll and before her nap?

@mrgoblinging7

If you knew Sushi, like I know Sushi

@kisupure said in Petrichor - a novel in "open beta" - [M/f, minigiant, post-apocalyptic dystopia, slavery, military setting]:

The enlisted/officer divide is a staple of military fiction, but what was once rooted in static social classes became more permeable with the rise of “professional” soldiers and recruitment. With the Disruption sending us back to serfdom, however, a battlefield commission is less a promotion than an ennobling.

Corpsmen are still enslaved, as Finch’s lack of good choices demonstrates. Captains leading armed bondsmen aren’t quite overseers or feudal lords, but the 'Naks and harsh environment seem to provide the rest of the discipline necessary to keep the corpsmen loyal. Until now, that is.

Still, Gray suddenly didn’t like how [Wesson] was taking up space.

Not as much space as some do…

animal impiety

Nice.

As far as I can tell, you haven’t disturbed the conventional wisdom that there are no female Anakim, but you have allowed that it might not be possible to engineer an humanoid effectively for combat without giving it a libido. I don’t suppose I have to remind you how non-neutered adult human males have historically behaved in prolonged single-sex environments.

What does fear pheromone smell like to other 'Naks? Pleasant? Noxious? Undetectable? Is suppression against orders?

UPDATE: Link was broken before, now fixed.

If you read the captions of the associated image-story, the giantess here caught the shrunken woman cheating with her (the giantess’s) boyfriend and shrunk them both.