@i-am-insane The thought of being the bigger one makes me so uncomfortable, nauseous even, because it just sounds so embarrassing. I’d be so self conscious with all my flaws so magnified.
But, if we assume it’s a totally safe situation, the idea of being small sounds so freeing to me. I have so much more space, I’m not in anyone’s way, my flaws are less perceivable. And the idea of being fawned over by someone so much bigger is humbling and endearing all at once. 🥰
@Nyx YES yes yes yes I’m so with you 
I love micro but am not really into unaware, I can never get enough of that kind of content~
@Olo HA. I did go on a couple of dates with someone slightly shorter than me. It didn’t last long, but that had nothing to do with his height. Just an asshole who didn’t listen to boundaries.
And then the person I ended up with is someone I met on a dating app, and I fell for him before meeting up in person and yet I still get weird comments from people about how I’m with him because he’s tall. There’s just no winning sometimes 
But in any case, I do agree that shallow factors play a big part in our lives (for all genders) and it’s a bummer.
Chapter 26
Aiden
The car door slamming shut echoes in the parking garage, masking my grunt as I hoist up multiple grocery bags all up and down my arms. I always try to bring everything in one trip if I can. As I approach the door to get into the apartment building proper, though, I’m starting to regret my decision.
But then the door swings open right as I reach it, and I have a frazzled exchange with the person on the other side as we quickly pull away from each other. “Whoa–” “Sorry!” “Oh, hey!” The awkward flurry ends in us smiling in recognition.
“Need any help with that?” Moira asks as she holds the door open for me.
“Nah, I’ve got it," I respond as I step into the hallway.
We begin chatting, the conversation gradually lengthening until Mo steps inside to let the door close. I set the groceries down as well so that we’re unburdened as we catch up for the next ten or so minutes.
“Yeah, I’ll just be glad when finals are done,” I sigh, lamenting about my workload.
“I’ll bet. And I should be back from my trip around then, the three of us should do something to celebrate the start of summer! A picnic or something.”
“Sure, that sounds great.” I smile appreciatively at how quickly Moira has started including Evie into this little sub-friend-group. She’s been great at keeping things secret, too - none of our mutual friends seem any the wiser.
“How is she today?” I ask, “I was in a bit of a rush this morning.”
“She seemed good! We just lazed around and watched a bunch of funny videos on her phone.”
I smile and almost say something but then hesitate. I start fidgeting, debating whether or not this will be an inappropriate thing to ask… But maybe it wouldn’t hurt to pry just a little bit… “Has she told you anything that, uh, you think I should know about?”
“Huh?” Moira narrows her eyes. “What am I, your spy?”
“Something like that?” I say with a nervous laugh. “No, it’s just, um… It’s hard to explain. I do feel like Evie and I are close. She seems comfortable talking to me for the most part. But she’s always struggled a bit with like… asking for help, or asking for stuff. I’m usually the one asking her what kinds of things she might need from the store. She’s gotten better compared to the beginning, but she still always seems so hesitant about it, no matter how much I tell her she’s not bothering me.”
Mo listens quietly, without judgment, and then ends up nodding in agreement. “I’ve gotten a sense of that too. I brought a couple of things I hoped might help with her crafting projects today and she seemed really embarrassed about accepting them…”
“Right!” I say, relieved to feel like I’m not crazy, “Okay, cool, you get it. It just feels like she holds back a lot, on certain things.”
“Have you tried talking to her about it?”
“We did, a while ago… She said she didn’t want to burden me, I tried to convince her it’s not a burden, and I thought we came to an agreement? I don’t know, sometimes she’s hard to read, and I worry to come off too strong. I hope I’m not doing anything wrong. Sometimes I overthink things… But maybe sometimes I underthink them…”
“Well…” Moira says evenly, “From what I’ve gleaned, she seems to genuinely like you. So don’t worry too much, okay?”
But I begin to feel anxious as I know I’m probably starting to blush. Now I’m desperately wondering what they’ve been saying about me.
“The only thing I can possibly think of right now…” Mo continues, deep in thought. “I think she likes blackberries? Sounded like she has good memories associated but hasn’t had any in a long time, just based off a conversation we had today. It’s not much, but it’s something?”
I light up at this little scrap of intel. “Yeah, that’s super easy to buy. Thanks, Moira.”
“This doesn’t mean I’m spying on her for you,” she says with her arms crossed and a teasing smile.
“I know, I know!” I laugh, putting my hands up disarmingly. “I don’t want to break girl code or whatever. I just care about my friend is all.”
We say our goodbyes and part ways. Despite the heavy bags, I’m feeling lighter as I make my way to the apartment.
I call out a greeting when I step inside, and then I stop at the kitchen counter to unload the groceries. A moment later, once I’ve put the freezer items away, I look over towards the desk, eyes scanning the surface of the table, but from this distance at least I don’t see any signs of Evie. She could be in the bathroom, of course, but still, I can’t help feeling a tad nervous. I pause in my tidying up to get a bit closer.
A few steps later, I startle at her little voice calling out, “Any luck finding the curry?”
With the sound as a guide, my eyes dart over and finally see where she’s at. I wasn’t expecting to find her on top of the bathroom. She’s apparently dragged over her mini table and chair as a boost to get onto the white plastic box I made that contains her bath. My breath grows more shallow as I mentally measure the distance between her and the desk’s surface.
“What are you doing up there?” I ask, taking another step forward and completely ignoring her question.
She glances up with a bit of surprise from my tone but answers casually enough. “I’ve never cleaned here before… Some of the dust was starting to fall through the vent.” Sure enough, she’s on hands and knees with a piece of damp tissue, and it looks like she’s wiped off the bulk of the roof. The plastic strips she’s kneeling on bend slightly whenever she moves. I just glued those together to make that box, it hardly seems secure.
I take another tentative step. “I could have done that for you…,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady and not make sudden movements.
“It’s no big deal, it wasn’t that dirty. I did most of it this morning, just wanted to finish up.” She shifts as she talks and gets so close to the edge of the miniature building.
“Please be careful, Evie,” I beg, resisting the urge to pick her up right then and there.
She looks up again and finally takes in just how tense I am, her expression shifting to a concern - not for herself but for me. “What’s wrong? I’m only a few inches up, yeah?”
“B-but what is that, like, a ten foot drop for you?” It looks like it’d be enough to break her neck depending on how she landed.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to fall,” she says with a smile. “And I’m just about done.”
Still nervous, I watch her finish wiping off the dust on the corner of the box, and then as soon as she sits up again to admire the finished task, I reach a hand out and line it up next to her. “Can I at least help you get down?” I ask meekly.
Her brown eyes meet mine. I think I might actually be getting on her nerves. This is the kind of thing I don’t know how to handle - am I in the wrong here? I don’t mean to be treating her like she’s incapable, but… damnit, shouldn’t safety be our number one concern? I’ve heard of people injuring their backs while putting up Christmas lights on one-story houses. How is this any different?
Evie doesn’t voice annoyance. In fact, the expressions continue dancing across her face and suddenly she’s starting to look strangely fearful instead. Is she seeing the risk now too? I have no idea. There’s a tension in the air as she finally says, “Yeah, sure. Thanks.”
She climbs onto my palm stiffly, and I slowly start to lower my hand down, when out of a desperate desire to lighten the mood I suddenly alter course, sweeping her towards me instead.
“Psych,” I say, forcing a playful attitude as I bring her up higher now and curl my fingers around her. “You fell right for my trap. Now I can force you to help me with dinner.”
To my immense relief, she just laughs and leans back theatrically. “Oh no, the horrooor!”
“Off to the kitchen with you!” I declare, turning around as I give her my best evil laugh. Whew. It was tenuous but I think I somehow managed to save that awkward situation.
Evie actually looks very eager to help out when I get back to the counter with her. I stay mindful of where she’s at as I continue putting things away, and she ventures into one of the plastic bags, creating little rustling sounds as she looks around. She finds the sprig of fresh thyme that I bought and struggles to drag it out, reminding me of an excited dog who found a stick that’s way too big for it.
Now on a mission, the tiny girl runs over to where we store her mini kitchen supplies and returns pushing a shallow dish to her work space. Then she settles into a seat and begins picking off the little leaves of thyme for tonight’s dinner, creating a growing pile in the small dish. That’s one thing that she’s really good at with her reduced size - thoroughly de-stemming herbs.
I come across a bottle as I unpack and finally remember to answer her earlier question. “Oh, right, so they didn’t have yellow curry, but I hope red curry is still okay?”
I hold it up for her approval, and she gives me a gracious nod. “Yeah, that should still work fine. Maybe a little bit more of a kick. Do you like spicy food?”
“I love spicy food,” I say, reaching up to put the curry paste away in the cupboard.
“Me too!” she chirps, her cheerful tone quickly thawing any lingering anxiety until I feel like I’m glowing with pleasure. I really love that we’re still able to discover new things about each other all the time.
We drift into a contented silence for a couple of minutes as we tend to our own tasks. That’s how we spend a decent amount of our time these days, actually. Staying near each other but doing our own thing in comfortable quiet, until one of us pipes up with a thought. Speaking of which…
“Do you think,” Evie says with a layer of hesitation over her voice, “that you could keep an eye out for blackberries next time? I don’t think they’re in season, but just in case…”
This makes me freeze in place, as stunned as if from an electric shock. Damn. Never would I have expected for her to bring that up on her own.
“Yeah!” I finally say enthusiastically, halting everything else that I’m doing so that I can put all of my attention on her. “That’s no problem at all!”
She grins, trying to repress laughter as she asks, “Are you a fan of them too? You look like I just suggested we go to Disneyland.”
I decide to be honest. “I’m just so happy that you actually asked me to buy something you like! You never do that.”
“Oh. Um, yeah…” Evie bites at her lip and starts messing with her hair, twirling a strand around her finger. “I guess that’s true… I just wish I could contribute more, financially at least. And it’s just what I’m used to… The last time I had a roommate, she was very adamant about who owned what. Even my mom would nickel and dime me on stuff, the only one who didn’t…” She suddenly stops her little monologue, as if recoiling into herself, and then shakes her head. “Anyway. I know this is different, I… I’m trying.”
Ugh, I wish I didn’t have to be so careful sometimes. I’m so relieved and proud of her that I just want to wrap her up in a full-sized hug. Instead I bend a little lower and settle my hand in a curve behind her, bending my fingers around to gently touch her arm. She smiles but it’s feeble, I can tell that she still looks uncomfortable and didn’t share quite as much as she could have. I don’t push it, instead trying to encourage her self-advocacy by making this experience a good one. I attempt to bring up those good memories Moira had mentioned.
“So do you just like the berries on their own?” I ask, “Or did you have a favorite recipe in mind?”
Evie’s smile strengthens and I have to suppress a sigh as she adorably leans her head against my nearby fingers. “I do like them as a snack. But you’re right, my favorite thing to make with them is cobbler. It’s not, like, real cobbler, just the easy cake mix version. But it was actually one of the first desserts I’d ever made myself. I was so proud when I figured it out and it turned out so delicious! I think it was particularly good since that was the day I got lost in a parking garage, if you remember that story. Have I mentioned I hate being underground? Anyway, having that kind of success afterwards just made it all the better…”
I go to crouch then as I maintain contact with my hand, just so that I can be more at her eye level as we chat. Dinner can wait a few minutes. This kind of bonding is priceless. Turns out I didn’t even need a spy after all.
Oh man I’m loving the term “giant exposure therapy”. I feel like I’ve vaguely explored that concept when writing if I think about it (like a character feeling like “dammit, I need to stop being so scared of him! I’ll to force myself to interact so I get used to him!”), but not where the whole story is centered around that concept. Gah, the angst, the silent negotiation of power dynamics, the path to healing, I love the potential of this!
@miss-lillipants This is one of the big things I wanted to explore with this story, because I know I’d struggle with my lack of independence sooo much
@miss-lillipants I would love to read the story you mentioned 🥺
It’s interesting to think about what those small animals might be thinking. Like if one gets caught in a net and then a person took them out of the net… Do they think the person was responsible for the net? Or do they mistakenly think they’re being saved from the net by the person??
Okay, obviously animals aren’t thinking it through to that extent, but a tiny person might!
@maladaptivetiny Yeeees! I so agree with you, I wish there was more of it.
(Side note for the gentle fans: Violet Goes to the Beach is back. Iykyk)
@SmolChlo I’m really glad you said something Chloe, since my experience was similar to Lurk’s - foot content leading to certain people to become rather intense & demanding about it (which turned me off of it a little bit). Meanwhile, maybe I’ve just been incredibly dense, but I didn’t realize you had a foot fetish until you said it in this thread! I’ve seen you comment on so many other facets and never be demanding about feet. There are probably way more folks like you who aren’t obnoxious about it than those who are obnoxious. That makes sense that it would be that way, where a few people ruin it for everyone else - but in any case I’m happy to have more examples of chill foot lovers in my circle 
@Olo I’ve never thought of that before but you’re so right! There’s a story idea there, tiny poker celebrity hehe
I had another thought on the whole male/female gaze thing, because initially I was only thinking about written stories, but it’s also something that I’ve seen with art. I’ve seen so many collages or drawings of naked sexy lady on a desk, or in a fist, where the focus does seem entirely on the SW. As opposed to there being more of a focus on the giant - seeing the both of them, or seeing his face in the background. Or heck, even if it’s just a lady in a hand, there can still be personality in that hand, a difference in the way he’s touching her, the way she’s looking at him - the focus being more on whatever level of emotional connection they share.
Of course, some of the differences here stem from how tricky it is to make art that fully illustrates both the tiny and the biggo (I’m all too aware of that struggle lol). But I still think there’s something to it. Again, I’m doing a lot of generalizing, and I’m not saying anything is objectively right or wrong, just interesting things to think about!
@SmolChlo Yeeeesss! And you know he’s holding back because this is a first date and he wants to be respectful and not freak her out further 
@foreverlurk I’m so sorry that you’re struggling with this. I do commend you and encourage you to continue therapy, I think others have had some great input on that already and I know I’ve benefited from it tremendously over the years. It does sound like bringing up the kink in a session might be beneficial, even if you don’t go into great detail on the specifics and more on how it impacts your life. I have a feeling (and it sounds like you do as well) that it might not be the fantasy itself that’s the core issue, so I do hope that once you’re in a better headspace the sizey yearning might not be quite so painful. We’re all rooting for ya 