Best posts made by Olo

@kisupure

She glanced up, suddenly sheepish and feeling very, very small now.

Sounds like her story to me.

@Kondo Hamster wheel for cardio.

For some reason, “Cock” is not on the tag menu for posts in Size Life Chat.

by Unknown Hand

@blss There are no mistakes, only “happy accidents.”

@taedis The question is, after a certain point, would that word even stop her?

by Unknown Hand

@RavenRose4242 “That, that’s just a distortion, right? One of those trick mirrors?”

This grabbed my attention from the start. We got a lot of good detail about Kimberly’s captivity, and I always appreciate tinies dwelling on their distress and inconveniences. More importantly, you’ve established Kimberly’s voice, which is crucial for us to care about what happens to her.

Another revealing aspect is how your dialogue is only half the conversation; the eye directions, facial expressions, and body language are at least as important as what is said. Being introduced to Kimberly in the box adds an important dimension to her reactions in the club. It’s a common device, but you use it well.

Aaron seems a right bastard, so it will be dismaying to see Kimberly fall into his clutches. More rewarding will being see her go through the contortions to accommodate her new reality.

@cyberpool said in Inspection:

These are so well drawn, who’s the artist?

Unknown Hand

@RavenRose4242 Any game involving a spinning wheel.

@kisupure You are really good at increasing the tension while keeping us focused on all the stakes. I also admire that for every mystery you remove (Sentinel’s got a crush!), you add another (why is the fear pheromone inconstant?). I also liked the detail of the local gentry having an embassy with Fox’s commander. So neo-feudal.

Gray lying to save her skin and put Kessler in the soup was cold. She better not wind up in the same foxhole with him later.

A little aerial recon would go a long way in this setting. Did I miss an explanation for its lack?

I’m glad you explained “nalezing.” At first I was afraid the sisters-in-arms were being ordered to stand down.

Couple of cavils:

“Better not be any spiders in here,” she whispered, thinking on the irony of being killed by a brown recluse in the middle of this.

I’m afraid you failed to describe Gray finding a crevice for cover before she was already in it.

As much as [Gray] hated the Corps . . .

When did that happen? It was my impression that Gray thought of the Corps as the last best hope, both for her and for humanity.

Illustration prompt: Sentinel wincing as he’s shielding Gray and taking the shrapnel.

Edenian Snack [Sub-Zero-Tanya]
by EmiVoraphilm

Bumping this up because it remains true. Sinema gets the teeth.

@kisupure Keep the spiders where they are, just add a sentence before it, describing how Gray found an arroyo in the dark.