@skysayl said:
Did you ever feel like the shame was a result of your fantasy being at odds with your own sense of integrity? The way you’ve worded it, it sounds like there was a belief there that responsibility was synonymous with control.
I believed responsibility was synonymous with adulthood, and I felt I was shirking it by not launching a career or doing any of the other things that were expected of me. If anything, my fantasy was too aligned with my sense of self, such that it was a tempting distraction from getting my shit together. For a while I entertained the possibility that I would have to abandon size fantasy if I were to ever “grow up.”



