Morts, Grandes et Petites
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I wrote a guest post on Aborigen’s blog about what it’s like to have a sexual fantasy that features violence and death. As always, I wrote to start—not conclude—a discussion, so let me know what you think.
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@Olo That was a thoughtful and respectful essay covering a topic that often becomes heated in the size community. I’ve always been into the darker side of the fantasy and you touched upon some of the concerns that I’ve experienced, including whether having such fantasies makes someone immoral. Before I discovered the size community, I felt a tremendous amount of guilt for what I liked; even now, I occasionally feel shame about it. Thank you for exploring the topic; while I can’t speak for everyone, it certainly makes me feel less alone and ashamed.
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@Olo I hesitate to even participate in the discussion since this feels like a sub-genre thats I’m not interested in. But I’m hoping to add my voice in some sort of support/reassurance to those who are into it, maybe?
I fall into the category of preferring death to be a threat at most. Yes, the skewed power dynamics in a sizey situation is part of the appeal for me - the fear and the domination aspect can be very exciting. But I do get very uncomfortable once things become very violent or if there’s death (I don’t necessarily mind it from a narrative perspective, just not from an erotic one). And in the past this has been a point of contention for me in the size community. Part of that I think was because I was exposed to it way too young. It was difficult during early internet to find sizey material without running into very sexual and very violent content, despite me not looking for it (from what I’ve gathered this still happens all the time even today, that’s just how the Internet is I suppose). And then a bit later on, during my RP days, I had a couple of experiences where my RP partner suddenly included death and violence without checking that I was okay with it first, and I was left very disturbed. (I’ve had several bad RP experiences though with folks who don’t listen to boundaries, I’m very aware that it’s a case of the few ruining it for the many).
I do think I’ve come a long way since then though, and it’s in large part thanks to this sort of discourse. I have found it very helpful to interact with those who are into the violent content, to continually remind me that it’s all a fantasy, and that the vast VAST majority are perfectly kind and progressive and would never actually want the horrors in fiction to become a reality. I liked the section in the blog post about having empathy for the victim in the situation, and that for many that’s the very crux of it. That makes total sense and I find it very enlightening actually. Sometimes things feel like they should be obvious, but they’re somehow not, possibly simply from not giving the subject enough thought.
It’s also helpful for me to encounter the vast variety of what people are into. Despite any internal discomfort with certain content, I’ve always tried to not kink shame. Because yes, I do like wholesome fluff in my fantasies, but I also like some of the darker elements, the domination, the dubcon and noncon, getting treated at least somewhat roughly, and even scenarios that could be considered rape. And then I have my personal boundaries. And everyone has different boundaries. Some folks might not mind some amount of injury to heighten the excitement, but draw a line at death. Some are into soft vore, others want the blood and guts. Seeing the complex and varied spectrum is helpful in and of itself to reduce judgment.
Anyway! I know I’m not alone, as someone who is not into the violence, in thinking that there’s nothing wrong with you if you ARE into the violence. For whatever that’s worth!
If you’d like to support me and my work, please feel free to leave me a tip and I will be so grateful! https://ko-fi.com/littlestlily
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@littlest-lily said:
It was difficult during early internet to find sizey material without running into very sexual and very violent content, despite me not looking for it
I quite sympathize. Size galleries and forums were unthoughtful and chaotic back then, and it has only improved a little in recent years. I myself resisted violent/lethal content for a great while, and I still think a lot of violent stuff out there is mindless and glib.
When I was on Tumblr, where the SFW and NFSW wings of the Size community often clashed, I was moved to write a manifesto: Free to Be Huge and Wee
I know I’m not alone, as someone who is not into the violence, in thinking that there’s nothing wrong with you if you ARE into the violence. For whatever that’s worth!
It’s worth more than you can know, Lily. Thank you.
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Lots of interesting thoughts, Olo. I think mine intersects with Lily’s a lot, in the sense that while violence is not really my thing, I would never judge you based on your fantasies. I sincerely hope that, whenever I express my own personal preferences for the gentler side of things, I don’t come across as judging or looking down upon those that don’t share my tastes.
I was fortunate enough to be older than most here when I first got access to the internet, so I wasn’t that shocked when first exposed to violent SW fiction and pictures. I must admit that hurting or killing in the context of shrinking had never even crossed my mind at that point. It’s part of those little details in size fiction that took me a while to discover, like for instance the prevalence of fear as being the foremost sought after emotion from the tiny/SW’s perspective. I know it’s obvious but what I personally seek with the shrinking lies first and foremost in the newfound vulnerability of the shrunken woman. The fear, as I see it, is a byproduct of that loss of power, but not THE thing I’m explicitly looking for. I’m almost like a blissfully unaware giant that has no clue of the utter terror he’s inflicting on his shrunken victim. Does that make any sense?
It is not unreasonable, therefore, to be concerned about how expressions of fetish desires might be (mis)interpreted by people unfamiliar with the tropes and conventions of certain fetishes.
We had a case very similar to Gilberto Valle here in Quebec with a horror writer for a book he published in 2017. In that story, there was an incest/rape scene involving a minor - someone reported that to police, and he was accused of producing child pornography. He was later found not guilty but not before his entire life had been destroyed.
I don’t know where modern day psychology stands on all this. I’ve seen their takes on “viDeO gAmEs mAkE yOu viOleNt!!” and I’m not sure we’re in the clear. I’m old enough to remember the D&D scare in the 90s, when people thought playing that game made us satanic worshippers or something. I shudder to think what some experts would say if they were exposed to size fiction.
PS: J’aime beaucoup le titre de votre article. Very clever.
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A wonderful and reflective piece, Olo. Thank you for sharing your perspectives - extending also to those who shared their views with you!
I share a lot of sentiments already covered in the posts above. Whilst darker content isn’t an integral part of a lot of my fantasies, I’ve come to accept or appreciate some stuff, and actually enjoy others, without feeling like I’m doing some terrible crime. The older I got (and hopefully wiser), the easier it was to reconcile with darker content and realise that people who enjoyed violence in their fantasies did not always means that they were, themselves, violent or horrible people. I think it’s easy to misunderstand content (and the people who create and consume) when it relates to something so deeply personal; that any deviations from your own interpretations isn’t simply annoying, but offensive.
It helped me a lot to view violence in size content through the lens of horror in fictional media - because I love horror movies. Does that mean I enjoy murder or whatever horrific content is being shown if it ever becomes a reality? No, of course not. Real life kaiju? Hell no. But as entertainment fodder in a controlled, fictional setting? Sign me tf up.
That’s not to say that I’m able to completely separate my personal morals or experiences from fantasies. There are certainly some things that make me uncomfortable which are grounded in morality, but it’s easier for me to just accept it and move on, no judgement to either creator or consumers.
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@Olo Great article! I sometimes feel guilt about my more violent fantasies but in the end I know they are just that…fantasy. Sometimes im gentle in my fantasies, sometimes I’m stomping on all the tinys.
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all fatalities in Size Fantasy receive the due sympathies of those who partake of such fantasies. that really resonated with me. I’ve never felt ashamed for being into the darker more scarier side of this fantasy. I know I would never hurt a tiny person nor would I want to watch a tiny person get hurt (I rescue bugs constantly) These are just thoughts and scenarios that I allow and give myself permission to indulge in. I’m a pretty sensitive person so I can understand not wanting to see or read about gore and violence, I’ve stumbled across some content that has given me a few stomachaches but I’ve also gotten anxiety attacks from gentle stories too. For me, it’s how I insert myself into what I’m looking at or reading but I’ll always appreciate both the gentle and rough side of this community. I think we balance each other out!
Thank you again @Olo for taking the time to write this essay and share your wisdom. Your breakdown of this topic is appreciated
