Your fantasizing character vs you IRL
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I’m curious how others think about this.
I was fantasizing, and picturing myself as a tiny interacting with a big, and my gender doesn’t matter to me there. Not much at all.
But then, I was fantasizing about being a giant, which I do rarely. I am happy with being my normal IRL self with a tiny man. Imagining a tiny woman is kind of weirdly boring to me (personally). I think I’d rather be her friend than want to do anything sexual.
But then I pictured growing. And it would be fundamentally horrifying for me to grow with my current body. Not just for the obvious moral reasons, but for the notoriety I’d get as what everyone would call a giant-ess.
I pictured a gender switch. What if, I mean, magic wands are needed to grow anyway. What about a physical gender switch?
I’d love to fuck a city up as a giant man. I’d be happy with tiny people seeing me like that.
I know, I know, very specific trans problems. But I was wondering in general… Physically, do your fantasy characters of yourselves differ in big ways from your IRL selves? Fitter, taller (obv), younger, older, fatter, a gender switch? Tatooed as a giant, perfectly unadorned as a real person? Blonde tiny, but you have brown hair?
You don’t have to get specific about what you look like IRL if you’re uncomfortable with that. You can just note if there’s a difference or not.
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@tiny-ivy In my fantasies I never noticed a difference in how I look like vs real life, in my fantasies I’m just really small and usually naked (not by choice)
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In my fantasy, the way I look can change quite a bit. But there is one consistency, power, I am powerful.
My every action, no matter how small or minor to me, is like a force of nature to the poor tiny I’m interacting with. Unstoppable, unyielding, nothing can be done to stop me when I want to do something. The woman in my hand, the entire world really, is so utterly and completely at my mercy that even if I’m being kind, I’m terrifying.
IRL, I try my best to be kind and considerate. From my earliest days, I have always been a bit bigger than the other kids, vertically and horizontally. So every adult always told me “Be careful when playing, you’re bigger than them” And that has more or less shaped my entire personality growing up.
But that has always been a source of pain for me. The things I like, and the way I was raised to behave, clash. The good person I try to be, and the horror I enjoy being, both equally disgusted by the other. I’m not self-harming anymore, so I am getting better, but I still feel at war with me myself sometimes. The good man I try to be, and the devil I feel is the real me… I don’t see myself being my own best friend any time soon.
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I’m moral irl vs fantasizing I push my comfort zone so I can be mean, but not overly cruel, I’m too affectionate, nice, and kind irl at times I can be very irritable though and moody. Physically I can be like Satan/Lucifer handsome and charming or change into an evil orgerish demon with horns and a goatee of course I can be very tall vs irl I’m medium height but fantasizing I can be mountain sized 50 to a hundred feet tall, or just be a scientist with a shrink/growth ray or a shrink and growth formulas and have control of my size and theirs. I’m often the scientist or the one who finds a shrunken woman, takes advantage of her or rescues her, or both, but once in a while the giant in me comes out to wreck the town or city when I’m angry. HULK SMASH! most of the time I do fantasize about killing evil people, (like Dexter on showtime) but I tend to go back to a code of morals and punish them instead.
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I’m a woman irl but I like imagining myself as a giantess and as a male giant, and some of my favorite roleplays involved me playing the giant guy. As for appearance, my imagination pretty much runs wild. Sometimes I look like myself; other times, I look completely different or not even human at all. I could be a huge demon or alien or something indescribable…honestly, imagining myself in different ways is part of the fun for me.
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@mrgoblinging7 I understand that feeling, I’m not best friends with myself either but we are all your friends here
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@smolchlo Right back at you Chlo
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I didn’t get to see Ivy’s post before she deleted it, but extrapolating from the replies, whenever I “see” myself in a size fantasy, I appear much like I do in real life, which is a spitting image of Jason Momoa.
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Sigh. I guess you can’t actually delete posts here? I felt like this was too personal to just me so I deleted it. Restored because why not. Because “delete” didn’t actually delete.
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@giant-me It’s a lot more looking-down.
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Honestly? A lot of time I don’t imagine myself as human. Quite frankly I’m not sure I’ve ever really imagined myself as a vanilla human for longer than a minute or two. Human… adjacent comes up pretty often, sure, but I’m not really attached to my humanity, as a concept. Our ability to invent shit is cool and all, but the actual meat is notably unimpressive to me on many levels, and I’d love to upgrade it or just ditch it. Giant, monster, god, eldritch abomination, demon, dragon, robot… depends on my interests at the time, though the common thrust in all these is, of course, that I’m some sort of powerful entity. Aesthetics wise, I have this thing for those kind of tattoos that kind of… trace out someone’s contours? There’s probably a name for them, but I’ve never learned it. Long lines that would… wrap around a woman’s breasts, or emphasis or trace out abs? I like the idea of a human-like me having them, or an SW (or woman who is normal yet small to me) having them.
In the same vein, while I’m male, I’m not… terribly attached to that either, so much as just blandly accept that that’s what my body is. It’s a more recent revelation for me that SW, which I realized pretty early on, though there were plenty of signs in retrospect, I guess. Personally, I just don’t find men attractive, at all, and seeing them in sexual situations is honestly kind of a turn off to me (while I can mitigate it with GT, SM just… grates because the small one, somewhere in my wiring, is what I see as the attractive one, and then it’s a guy and… yeah. Fetish wise, I like GTS with an SW as an ideal scenario because then I like both ends of the equation instead of trying to ignore or substitute one of the members) and while I don’t mind that I’m male, I don’t object to being female in them instead (and thus being attractive, in my own mind), or something that doesn’t do that kind of thing (which honestly just seems like it’d make things so much simpler sometimes).
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@tiny-ivy I’ve noted the “persistence” of my own deleted posts, but I had no idea others could see them too. Seems like a poor design.
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@tiny-ivy I’m always the exact same in my fantasies… Just a lot tinier