Am I The Bad Guy Here?
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Ok so, a while ago this person sent me a story request on Reddit, nothing wild, just a story about using a tiny as bra stuffing.
But like, twice a day they would text me asking if it was done yet. Setting boundaries is hard for me because my default is to just be accommodating. But it was the holiday season, the middle of fall through winter. I have a full-time job. And a Significant Other. This was too much. So I texted the creep to stop texting me non-stop, even gave them the link to a fetish chat room I used to RP on before I found my Darling Dearest so they could busy themselves while I worked. They ignored my request for space, and just kept bothering me, this slowed down the writing of the story, and angered me greatly.
I managed to finish the story, and they just started begging me for a next part, something I was clear that I only do with stuff that moves me creatively, this story did not. I told the fuck to never talk to me again, told them exactly why they could go fuck themselves, blocked them, and every proxy account they used to try and keep pestering me.
Just so we are clear, I have never had this problem with anyone but that jerk. And I know that it is important to set boundaries. But am I the jerk? Has any of the other creatures here suffered from someone like this? Should I have just cut them off the moment they started being to much and not finished the story for them?
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@mrgoblinging7 you’re not a jerk at all! In fact that was really generous of you that you went ahead and finished the story for them even though they kept pestering you. But I’m sorry you had to experience that, I would have blocked them as well
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@mrgoblinging7 Of course you weren’t being unreasonable. Basic courtesy required them to honor your requests and boundaries. People seem to forget their manners on the internet, particularly in the anonymous world of smut.
I wouldn’t consider this person’s conduct acceptable even if they paid for a commission in advance, which I’m guessing they didn’t. If this was an unpaid request (aka a favor), I would have thought you justified in dropping the whole project after the first time you set some boundaries and they ignored it.
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What everybody said. What an asshole.
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@mrgoblinging7 said in Am I The Bad Guy Here?:
Should I have just cut them off the moment they started being to much and not finished the story for them?
I’ve had to deal with several people throughout my time in the size community that refuse to respect boundaries. In my experience, the best way to deal with them is identify them quickly and cut them out of your life like the blood sucking tumors they are.
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Look, if they can’t respect that you have a life beyond their story then that’s their problem. Yeah, if the paid for a commission, then maybe if you were late they could message every other day or so. But I got the feeling you’d have been up front and allowed them to know of any delay due to unexpected life drama. Some people just think the world owes them and everyone needs to bow to them.
Heck, if it was an unpaid and they were that pushy, they deserve to be ignored. Forget them and write what you like.HH1
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@mrgoblinging7 You were generous, they were greedy. You did nothing wrong!
It took me more than a decade to learn how to keep my boundaries firm against pressure. This includes the works I make for this community.
If you think of yourself as a giving or kind person, it can take some time to develop the habit of saying no. But this fetish is a thing we all do for fun, even the generous people. There are no real obligations to produce anything. Nobody is owed a piece of art on demand. -
So glad I don’t have any size talents and yup all the above
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“Expectations” The bad guy is the one making unreasonable or impatient demands upon you when you are at your limitations. I try to keep in practice not over doing things, and letting others not take advantage of what I can do, sometimes you have to say no, because of time restraints, lack of resources, and codes you/I follow. Sorry, but not sorry mentality, I share what I can when I can, if I do a commission or request it’s my choice to do so. If something happens that I can’t meet a request, it’s not my fault. If I quit tomorrow, get sick or die, and you are disappointed, life still goes on without me and or you. Someone takes our place that’s better or worse, but you are unique, and your footprint will remain in people’s minds for inspiration and missing out on someone’s work is OK we all grieve, life is hard, but we move on. Being someone having to deal with bipolar depression I have learned these facts. Nothing is set in stone, and tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, but I/you can make the best of it, that’s our power.
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@mrgoblinging7 I agree with the common idea here. You are not a jerk. You asked nicely and then took action to prevent someone from trying to break those boundaries.
Our mental health must always be a priority. You are taking care of yourself.
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