I found a crumb of M/f in a manga
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@i-am-insane I love bad horror movies too!
And by “bad” I really mean cheesy stuff that knows what it is. I don’t like giving people a hard time about something they put a lot of effort into. But in the instance of this manga, I’m pretty sure the author knows exactly what they’re doing and is shameless about it.
Even in our community, we have tons of amazing content, but I think we’ve all been in a mood where we just want to read/write/draw pure filth.Sorry, just wanted to clear that up so I didn’t sound so mean-spirited.
That is a fantastic meme. I do wonder about the connection between fear and sexuality in the brain. Sexual content in the context of horror makes sense; obviously sexual assault is frightening and nudity makes someone feel very vulnerable. Haven’t thought of the other way around too much, but fear has a major role within size play.
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@blehb said in I found a crumb of M/f in a manga:
That is a fantastic meme. I do wonder about the connection between fear and sexuality in the brain.
There is absolutely something to this. There’s a podcast out there called “Whatever you’re into”, I don’t know if they’re still running it. But they interview people with really wild fetishes and there’s a common thread that becomes apparent- most of them found it scary as a child. Puffers were frightened by balloons. Someone with a breath fetish was terrified of being sucked into a vacuum as a child. They mentioned people with clown fetishes were terrified of Pennywise. There was even a macrophile they interviewed who imagined herself as a tiny mouse to hide from everything that frightened her.
I have a very close friend who has a very intense fantasy about Sadako (the Ring) crawling out of the television and raping him while he’s petrified in fear and disgust. (I learned this wasn’t as unique as it sounds, there’s a ton of R34.) There’s also an SCP that is inserted into the same exact fetish.
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@skysayl said in I found a crumb of M/f in a manga:
There was even a macrophile they interviewed who imagined herself as a tiny mouse to hide from everything that frightened her.
Relatable! The thought of being small or having someone take care of me was always very comforting. But that’s less “I’m attracted to my fear” and more “I’m attracted to how I cope with fears”.
Here’s a different perspective. I used to have A LOT of anxiety growing up, and anxiety is ALL about lacking control and certainty of the circumstances in your life. Well, having something much larger control your entire existence is the perfect manifestation of that fear. So I guess this theory tracks!
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@blehb said in I found a crumb of M/f in a manga:
having something much larger control your entire existence is the perfect manifestation of that fear.
Amen amen amen
It really is perfect. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
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@skysayl said in I found a crumb of M/f in a manga:
There was even a macrophile they interviewed who imagined herself as a tiny mouse to hide from everything that frightened her.
Such an interesting subject! I’ve recently had a discussion on the origins of our kink with a woman telling me almost the same thing verbatim - a way to deal with fears and trauma. There seems to be a good degree of correlation with anxiety overall.
Don’t know about other microphiles, I’ve mentioned before that one place it could stem from is extreme shyness. Social phobia wasn’t taken as seriously back then, especially in children (“oh it’s just a phase, it’ll pass”). I guess the thought of shrinking others, making myself bigger in some situations, might have been an internal coping mecanism?
The desire to protect (or control
) is harder to pinpoint - I always loved taking care of smaller animals, or looking after my younger siblings. Beyond that, I think I felt like I lacked control in my life - so having control over another smaller person could have been projection on my part.Rendering someone helpless and harmless (ie. shrinking) meant I could approach her in spite of said shyness, annnd also act as caretaker. Don’t know if this makes any sense? How all this also became a kink, I’m at a complete loss to explain beyond “hurr durr, me wants tiny woman”
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@foreverlurk said:
The desire to protect (or control ) is harder to pinpoint - I always loved taking care of smaller animals, or looking after my younger siblings.
Back when I hung out on Tumblr, there was a user (Tiny-Taker, if anyone else remembers) who had what they described as a “rescue fetish.” They really enjoyed the idea of taking care of tiny people and protecting them from a hostile world. Tiny-Taker was also under no illusions about the power aspect of their fantasies.
All my M/f stories and discussions can be found here.
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“Rescue fetish”
, woah thank you that’s basically it.@Olo said in I found a crumb of M/f in a manga:
Tiny-Taker was also under no illusions about the power aspect of their fantasies
Very interesting take, and that’s why I conflated “care” and “control” under the same umbrella. Even IRL some people end up controlling other people’s lives under the pretense of caring for them, sometimes in spite of their good intentions.
“I’ll save you whether you want it or not - this world is too dangerous for someone so tiny!”
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@blehb said:
I used to have A LOT of anxiety growing up, and anxiety is ALL about lacking control and certainty of the circumstances in your life. Well, having something much larger control your entire existence is the perfect manifestation of that fear.
For me, the idea of a giant being in control is a comforting thing - not because I don’t want control of my life, but because being an adult is exhausting! I think especially as I got older, when societal standards and personal circumstances put more responsibility on me to do and be certain things, I just wanted someone else deal with it: do the job, create plans, make decisions, solve the problems, etc. Thinking of a giant either dealing with things or whisking me away was my way of checking out of reality, to an extent.
On the topic of fetish origin stories, here’s an article from 2019 that may be of interest to some: it discusses adult diaper fetishes as a case study, but the discussion and points can be easily applied to other fetishes (some experiences being shared may even seem familiar and relateable). It’s a pretty “fetish positive” article, with little to no judgey-ness from the author or the researchers interviewed, so it’s good little read. The TL;DR can be summed in this quote: “Different people have different reasons for being involved in the fetish or lifestyle.”
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@miss-lillipants said:
“Different people have different reasons for being involved in the fetish or lifestyle.”
This is crucially important to remember, particularly to people just now discovering their fetish and assuming everyone online must be into it for the same reason. I made this mistake for many years before I started listening to others.
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@miss-lillipants said:
For me, the idea of a giant being in control is a comforting thing - not because I don’t want control of my life, but because being an adult is exhausting!
When I was feeling ashamed of my shrunken man fantasies, one way I would beat myself up was to tell myself that it was an infantilizing fantasy driven by my reluctance to take responsibility for my life. It took a very long time to give myself permission to take the occasional vacation from adulthood.
Then I had to learn how to give myself permission to enjoy taking control of shrunken women…
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@miss-lillipants Oh yes, I agree with all of this 100%! There’s definitely no single way for a kink to form, and I know there tends to be an issue with people assuming it forms from a negative experience. For me it’s both the fear aspect I was describing earlier and a comforting one. And sometimes it determines the type of fantasy I want to conjure up: do I want to bullied or doted on?
That’s a great article! I really love how it emphasized that these “kinks” can vary in how sexual they are. For some people it absolutely is a fetish, for others it’s more of a lifestyle. And I’m sure for many people it’s both. A huge amount of my size fantasies don’t involve sex at all.
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@miss-lillipants Thanks for sharing that article. Sadly, I’ve yet to see some in-depth research done specifically for size kinks (we don’t talk about Dr. Helen Friedman).
I agree there’s no be-all / end-all explanation to their origin, I’m not trying to find a universal truth. I’d just like to understand myself better.
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@Olo said in I found a crumb of M/f in a manga:
When I was feeling ashamed of my shrunken man fantasies, one way I would beat myself up was to tell myself that it was an infantilizing fantasy driven by my reluctance to take responsibility for my life.
This resonates. Did you ever feel like the shame was a result of your fantasy being at odds with your own sense of integrity? The way you’ve worded it, it sounds like there was a belief there that responsibility was synonymous with control.
I ask because I’m one of those people who started out using it as a coping mechanism, a deep desire to hide from the world because the world sucked- the only difference being I never found that part of it shameful. For me, avoiding responsibilities was entirely fine, but the shame was rooted in the prospect of giving myself to someone wholesale. Considering that trust being violated was the entire reason I needed such a cope to begin with, it felt gross and confusing to me why I would find comfort in the same situation.
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@skysayl said:
Did you ever feel like the shame was a result of your fantasy being at odds with your own sense of integrity? The way you’ve worded it, it sounds like there was a belief there that responsibility was synonymous with control.
I believed responsibility was synonymous with adulthood, and I felt I was shirking it by not launching a career or doing any of the other things that were expected of me. If anything, my fantasy was too aligned with my sense of self, such that it was a tempting distraction from getting my shit together. For a while I entertained the possibility that I would have to abandon size fantasy if I were to ever “grow up.”
All my M/f stories and discussions can be found here.
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@Olo That makes a lot of sense; and I think it’s probably very common for it to attach to our sense of self like that. I’m glad you seem to have found a way to banish that shame. At least, I assume you have because every comment I’ve seen from you has been level-headed and emotionally intelligent.
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