(I realise my intent to make this as a “repost” and the OOP username got a bit lost there, sorry. I will treat your comments as responses to the story)
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Relevant responses to OOP:
Replying to u/LikeWipingAMarker (@Olo, please don’t mind the dotpoint format, it’s the only way I could think of to indent the text)
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Thank you so much! Even though I have a better grasp of what is and isn’t acceptable at work, I appreciate the reassurance. I still catch myself wondering if I overreacted, or maybe that I could have handled it better. It gets easier to shake off though. Despite everything, I don’t plan on taking action against the company (but I am keeping records for myself, like the emails to my ex-manager, chat logs, and also maintaining my own journal entries).
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I absolutely agree with your advice on office relationships and I won’t be pursuing anything with my boss (even if I did, I’d have no idea how to go about it. I am absolutely hopeless on that front). I’m happy just to keep my head down, do my job, and get home in as few pieces as possible. That my boss happens to be really attractive is a bonus, heehee
Replying to u/BrokenByWhispers (@foreverlurk, as above, please don’t mind the dotpoint format!)
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I often feel that shouldn’t speak on MINUS related questions, simply because I have not experienced it. It is best to ask someone with MINUS. In saying that, after reading and learning about the experiences of MINUS survivors (many of whom will never recover, from what I understand), we really do have a lot of similarities besides the stark size difference between us Bigs. For example, having to adjust to being on the “smaller” side of society: despite Tinies in my country living with Bigs for generations, statistically, only 2% of Tinies will have any sort of regular contact with Bigs throughout our entire lives (even less for Tinies outside of cities and towns). For me, all of that started when I got my current job and moved to the city. Before that, I only had very limited contact with Bigs at university, so being surrounded by them for prolonged amounts of time took some getting used to. However, I acknowledge that feeling is probably not as intense for someone with MINUS who has ZERO previous exposure.
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Bearing that in mind, and if you are genuinely seeking my perspective regardless, I give the following additional disclaimers: I am a hopeless romantic and have only ever daydreamed of being asked out by a Big. I also draw on my experiences as a woman who has learned from her not-so-great dating record.
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I guess my first question is whether “your friend” has a professional or informal relationship with his crush (always found this to be an unfortunate term)? You mention that your friend is a “designated giant” - is this like a professional carer? Or they work together and he helps her around the office? If that’s the case, this already warrants some caution (I realise that this may be a case of the pot calling the kettle black seeing as my own crush is my boss, but I have been reading up on the ethics of workplace relationships, including my own company’s policies). HR aside, your friend’s crush may have her own thoughts on this. She may not wish to have a relationship with a co-worker or anybody outside of her social circle - and if this is the case, then I think it’s best for your friend to cut his losses.
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Your friend should be mindful that their crush may be feeling extremely vulnerable, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. She contracted the virus only last year, which in terms of recovery, really isn’t that long ago. Depending on how well she has adjusted/is adjusting to things, this is a lot for someone to go through, even with support. In the end, the questions you’ve raised are something to ask her. If your friend hasn’t talked to his crush about it yet, it might be worth having the conversation.
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Remember, your friend’s crush is an independent adult with her own thoughts and feelings. The only difference is that she is small. Like with anything else, unless there is something that affects her capacity to make an informed decision, then I think that, yes, she can give, as well as withdraw consent. Your friend seems to be aware of the clear power imbalances in their size difference poses, which is great. So it is also on your friend to be wary of her unspoken uncertainties, and if he feels that something isn’t right, then it’s best to stop.
Update posted 21 September 2XXX
UPDATE 3: There has been so much time and change since my last post that I thought I would update you. This will likely be my final update - it’s a long one though that hopefully ties everything together.
A month after my last update [April], I had dinner and drinks at my boss’s assistant’s (“Jay”, not real name) place one weekend. My boss was also invited and offered to take me home afterwards.
(For some background about this, skip ahead if you’d like: as part of my country’s long-term amalgamation efforts, the government commissioned infrastructure that allowed both Bigs and Tinies to safely access the same areas to live and/or work, without fear of sudden increases in Tiny casualties. New suburbs were also developed that integrated the new design principles, but it was harder to implement in established areas - these had to be retrofitted and specially maintained: lots of underground and overhead tunnels, bridges between buildings, road expansions for Bigs and protected pathways for Tinies, special public transport routes and rails, etc. My apartment building happens to be in an older, traditionally Tiny neighbourhood.)
Anyway, I had such a great night, but in my jolliness, I forgot that Big access to the area was undergoing maintenance, so he couldn’t pass through the streets to take me home, even if he walked. It was late and dark, it would take me another 20 minutes to walk home from the closest drop-off point. I was and still am uncomfortable walking alone at night sober, let alone tipsy. He offered that I stay at his place just for the night - he’d take the couch and I’d take his bed (a pretty funny image, but a really sweet gesture). I agreed.
The detour back to his place gave us more time to chat. We shared our thoughts about Jay’s relationship (good things, they’re such a cute couple). We were just joking around, he made a pun about me “being a handful”, then the lingering alcohol in my system loosened my lips and I said that if he wanted to see how much of a handful I could be, that he could “put me in his pants pocket next time”. I was so mortified that I literally slapped my hands over my mouth (I am burning red as I type this). It was the most tense silence I’ve ever experienced. Eventually, he broke it to reiterate the sleeping arrangements.
I slept over that night as agreed and he took me to the closest drop-off point in the morning so I could walk home. I apologised before I took off - I think he was being kind when he didn’t make a thing of what I’d said. Come Monday, it was like any other day, though I couldn’t help but feel like he was limiting his contact with me. I felt awful and so embarrassed, but I figured it was for the best considering what I had said that night. I just tried to forget it.
A couple weeks after that [May], my boss announced that I would be shifted to “Operations” (keeping terms vague) and that I would be reporting directly to the Head of Operations instead of him. It made sense since Operations are in charge of implementing company-wide policies, and that being under my boss was just a temporary thing. Apparently, following my treatment from the other office, the company worked double-time to establish a “Tinies Division”, with a team of other Tinies in identified roles. And they wanted me to help with training, introductions, etc. which would later lead me into my role as coordinator.
It was sort of a bittersweet farewell between me and my boss since I’d no longer be working with him (looks aside, I learned a lot from him and he was just an overall good person), but I was starting a new role and would be surrounded by people I didn’t have to crane my neck up 90 degrees just to look at them.
Fast-forward to the beginning of September, and I’m loving my job. It’s been so great having a team to work so closely with, bounce ideas, teach and learn from. The Head of Operations (she’s a Big and my direct manager) has been really supportive and pro-active. We’re starting to see some real changes being made around the office - they’ve just finished installing the last lift and travelator in the boardroom. We’ve recommended holding off on further Tiny hires at the regional offices until we’re tried and tested our other recommendations around Head Office. So far, it’s looking really positive!
I also decided to read up on a BUNCH of compliance, rights, guidelines, policies and procedures all related to Tinies in Big environments - for my job, but also for my own sake. I don’t want anybody to gaslight me and make me question my own experiences again, nor do I want anybody on my team to experience that either. My manager is really impressed, often asks me for advice and will often take me to meetings with her to speak on behalf of the team. As an aside, she seems to be a natural with handling Tinies, she’s so gentle - I’ve asked her to share her methods when the awareness training program gets updated.
Um, so…as for Big Boss… After I got moved on to Operations, we only saw each other occasionally around the office. His schedule got really busy so he was often out or in a meeting. He’d still say hello, ask me how I was doing, and I’d get flustered and stupid as soon as I smelled the bergamot and patchouli. Then I’d admire his back as he strode off. But after a while, his general absence helped me take my mind off of him and that awkward night. The knot in my stomach eventually faded.
I’d still see Jay often and I’d hang out with him and his partner regularly. We got close, I told them things, like my crush on Big Boss without too much detail. Then a couple of weeks ago, they held a games night at their place and invited me and Big Boss. Him being there had me a bit anxious at first, but I had so much fun when the games started, especially when Jay’s partner and I stood in as game pieces. Then of course, when Big Boss picked me up to move me during his turn, all those thoughts I’d pushed down just came flooding back. I was just an awkward stuttering ball by the end of the game.
Big Boss offered to take me home afterward and I accepted, having loosened up and beginning to feel more comfortable around him again. We’re reflecting on the night when he suddenly tells me that he often thinks about what I’d said that night. I’m screaming inside with embarrassment, but just look at him with a broken, “oh yeah?”. And then AND THEN he confessed that he started to like me soon after I started under him, but couldn’t act on it for reasons many of you had warned against, and also because he wasn’t sure how I’d feel about it. When I blurted out that innuendo, part of him was hopeful but he knew then that he had to step away until he figured things out. He says that he had, indeed, been trying to keep some distance from me afterward, but that the shift to Operations had always been planned - it was just a coincidence that it happened so soon after.
The space gave him some time to think things over, revisit his feelings, and eventually seek advice. He spoke to Jay, HR and a bunch of different people about him dating employees. He found out that it would be less of a problem if he was not the employee’s direct line manager, and that it be disclosed as soon as possible to HR. In terms of perceptions of his character, he was willing to wear it and deal with whatever came about, and at that point, he was confident that the quality of my work and improvement highlighted how capable I was and that didn’t need underhanded intervention (which I was very flattered to hear). On a personal level, because some time had passed since I’d moved teams up to when he started inquiring, he was also concerned that I’d moved on, but it was Jay and his partner (of course!) who had assured him not to be worried.
I didn’t know what to say, it was a lot to take in. I don’t remember all of what he said because at some point, I got distracted by how nice his voice sounded, and also…that he likes me??? The point was, from the company’s perspective, it wouldn’t be a problem if we started dating, but we would have to be very careful and limit our interactions. It was, of course, up to me if we actually went ahead with it.
Guys, I know I said I wouldn’t, and that I wanted to keep my work and private life separate, but I couldn’t help it. Maybe I was caught up in the moment, but I was so smitten. I agreed for him to take me dinner the next night. When he dropped me off near my place (no maintenance this time!), he kissed my hand (and a bit of my arm) before putting me down. I was giggling like a school girl all the way up to my apartment, and held that hand all night. I realise that this reads like a silly, second-rate romance you might find in an online comic, but it is what it is; it makes me giddy and I like it.
So it’s been a couple of weeks since then. We agreed to take it slow, but one thing led to another recently and… well, I didn’t think a tongue as big as my bed could feel so good between my legs, but here I am writing this, with my cheeks all red and hot just thinking about it. We’re having dinner and catching a movie tonight, and I’ll be demonstrating what I meant about being in his pants pocket heeheehee
End of post. OOP has not updated.
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(If you got this far, thank you for reading my abridged size romance trashfire. A lot of it was inspired by my own personal work frustrations, so it’s a bit of a vent piece in a way.
As cheeky compensation for a lack of more intimate details, I’ll say that this couple end up staying together, and they further explore the sensational opportunities their size discrepancy affords. One of their favourite things to do is for her to be kept in his underwear, and the goal is to keep hard for as long as possible without making him cum. She also gets to experience being crushed (safely) and develops an appreciation for mouthplay and fearplay.)