This grabbed my attention from the start. We got a lot of good detail about Kimberly’s captivity, and I always appreciate tinies dwelling on their distress and inconveniences. More importantly, you’ve established Kimberly’s voice, which is crucial for us to care about what happens to her.
Another revealing aspect is how your dialogue is only half the conversation; the eye directions, facial expressions, and body language are at least as important as what is said. Being introduced to Kimberly in the box adds an important dimension to her reactions in the club. It’s a common device, but you use it well.
Aaron seems a right bastard, so it will be dismaying to see Kimberly fall into his clutches. More rewarding will being see her go through the contortions to accommodate her new reality. 
