@SmolChlo Thank you for sharing your experience. Yes, I think you’re right - if I want to understand myself, I can’t be serious about this and not bring up the fetish. I’ve always thought there was no real explanation to its origins. I’m not so sure anymore. Perhaps I’m just afraid of what I’ll find.
I can’t explain why it amplifies my feelings of solitude and melancholia. Paradoxically, indulging in sizey stories, comics, or videos is also the biggest dopamine (and sexual) rush I can experience. “What nourishes me, destroys me.”






