@sirensinner Not open at all. Even as a child I knew something wasn’t quite ‘right’ with me, so I kept this under lock and key, even more so after puberty.
I did try to tell the women who shared my life, but I never could. Awkward, introverted & shy, so communication has never been my forte, let alone discussion about my secret fetish. I have lots of respect to people coming out to their partners.
I think as an older (in my 40s) dom male, it’s simply hard mode. Subby, tiny men offer this “power reversal” trope. Women wanting to be big or shrinking men is “empowering”. But someone like me? I’m “perpetuating harmful gender stereotypes”
Only half-joking, because that’s what a lot of normies (and even people in this community) think of classic BDSM, so imagine their reactions to me wanting to shrink women down and use them for sexual gratification?!
I tried to tell my sister with whom I’m otherwise very close, but even then it was a disaster. She was clearly uncomfortable and changed the topic, after acting like this discussion never happened 
I’m most certainly taking this to my grave.