If You were A Medieval Giant?

[Southern Giant]

This is to all the giants out there,

If you were to be a giant of any size during the medieval era, what kind of giant would you be and what kinds of things would you love to do everyday?

For me personally, I would love to be an all powerful king that can grow to well over 500 ft tall. I’d love to go around, “accidentally” stepping on tinies as I walk, demolishing bandit camps and taking a farmers daughter or two for my pleasure~

How about all of you?

[H.tiny]

@giantesslover45 sounds really cool

[Olo]

@giantesslover45 Since giant-worship is inevitable, I’d be proactive and set up a theocracy with me as god.

First I’d demolish the existing power structure, which would probably require some gruesome demonstrations of vore. I’d make my new subjects retrieve the bones after I’d passed them to preserve as objects of veneration.

The main duty of my priesthood, of course, would be to provide a steady supply of acolytes to show me proper devotion. I would also, however, amuse myself by making occasional gnomic proclamations that they could collect as Scripture and argue over their interpretations.

I would also defend my society against all enemies foreign and domestic, and I could be supplicated into engaging in public works like diverting rivers or building fortifications. Any farmer should be honored and grateful to have me fertilize their fields.

I imagine some of my subjects would try to eliminate their rivals by convincing me they were impious or something. I might entertain this if I was bored enough, but I’d probably be as likely to eat the accuser as the accused.

[i am insane]

Honestly? For awhile, at least, I’d install myself as a evil thing to appease/protector/patron god, get a system set up where tithes (including, of course, women) are sent to me on a regular basis, my basic needs are met (a home of some sort, furniture, whatever food I’d need, if I needed food) and just… chill. Have fun with shit; have the women read to me, dance for me, whatever.

Stomp an enemy army if it rolls around, have fun toying with any knights that get ideas, tame a dragon or something…

I’m pretty low key, and actually ruling something sounds like a pain in the ass. As long as I get mine, I’d be good.

[Olo]

@i-am-insane Delegation is the key.

[Starghost]

@giantesslover45

i pass my days destroying castles and towns. first pissing on the king’s casttles after that. destroy his kingom! stomp everyone who i see and eating everyone. men, women, and theirs kids.

[Southern Giant]

@olo

Haha, they should be grateful that you would personally fertilize their crops. And we’ll, if they don’t show adequate enough adoration to you then I suppose you take a farmer’s daughter or two as compensation for such insolence.

How big would you want to be?

[Southern Giant]

@starghost

You got the right idea, hehe. Crush the kings and take the queens and princesses as spoils of war.

And oui hehe a cruel giant you are not letting a single soul escape. How big would you be?

[Olo]

@giantesslover45 I think 65-meters-tall is about right.

[2ndSoleSurvivor]

@olo I don’t think you would even need to be that tall. People used to be significantly shorter in the medieval era, and the average building was rarely even more than two stories tall. You could probably get away with 30 meters, though I can hardly blame you for wanting to be a big as possible.

[Olo]

@2ndsolesurvivor I like to be able to swallow people whole.

[Starghost]

@giantesslover45 maybe 150-200 foottallll

[Southern Giant]

@olo Swallow em whole and when you’re sufficiently bored enough, step on their houses whole ^_^

[Vorepun]

It really depends on if we’re talking strict fantasy or not. I’m a big old sadist trash man but if I was actually a medieval giant I’d probably just be lonely as fuck. xD

Laugh as I try to negotiate protection for human contact.

[Gorrister]

I fantasize a lot about being in some dark high fantasy type world, like Berserk or Dark Souls. I’d love to be a knight or in some crazed secret society/cult which worships a gigantic, destructive knight in armor who rampages cities and selfishly devours masses of soldiers and civilians He would be my god and obsession, and I’d love to lose myself in the heat of the battle defending his honorable tyranny!