Out of their Element

[littlest-lily]

Chapter 29
Evie

I look down at my list on a tiny square of paper, written for my size since it’s for my eyes only. I don’t want to lose track of what I’m doing so I’ve mapped out a plan and refer to it often. Feeling reoriented, I go back to the other sheet of paper I’m working on, writing with much larger letters. I’m getting close to done with my project, which is good because my little metal bathroom is getting very crowded with all of the hidden sheets of paper I’ve stuffed inside.

Every once in a while throughout the days, I hear a set of footsteps approaching and retreating from outside the door of the apartment - other tenants who live on this floor. I think the sound outside is just that… until I hear a key that enters the lock. I jolt up to my feet wildly. Aiden’s back way earlier than anticipated.

I’m rolling the paper up as the distant door swings open, then I dash behind the desk lamp with the scroll over my shoulder. I don’t want to be seen crossing the gap to the bathroom, so instead I turn towards my stuffed lion that’s perched on the windowsill. It’s leaning up against the desk just beside me and I don’t have very many options - footsteps are already heading my way. I slide the scroll of paper down so that it’s pinned between the desk and the lion’s chest, hidden out of sight in the fur.

Thankfully my acrylic paints are close by too so I just start walking along the tubes, trying to make it look like I was in the middle of picking out the next color.

“Hey, roomie!” I call out to the approaching giant who’s looking at me with a wide smile. Whew, I think he’s none the wiser. “Is everything okay? Today’s Wednesday, right?”

“Yup. My Geodata professor’s sick so class was canceled at the last minute. I still have work this afternoon, but I figured I’d swing by and have lunch here since I have extra time.”

I may have been anxious to get my secret project done, considering his birthday is the day after tomorrow. But I savor any extra time I can have with him, especially with the knowledge of how busy he’s about to be with finals in the next couple of weeks. He’s always a welcome sight.

Aiden sits and turns his attention to the mini that I’ve thankfully made some progress on since he saw it this morning. He leans forward, lowering his head and resting his elbows on his knees.

“Damn, Eve.” He squints at the elven ranger I’ve got propped onto a DIY work table. The unpainted figurines I ordered are about a third of my height, and all I currently have for paintbrushes are a couple of plastic kids’ brushes, cue tips and kitchen sponges in various sizes that were part of the items that Dr. Little had shrunken down. I think I’ll be able to upgrade and make my own brushes eventually, but this has been working well enough for now.

“Damn good or damn bad?” I ask facetiously as I approach to be level with the mini.

“Seriously, the detail on this is insane. Which makes sense, I guess, but actually seeing it is so cool… And for someone who claims to not be able to draw, you sure can paint!”

“Thank you, I’m glad it’s alright,” I say with relief, “since from my perspective it’s not quite where I want it to be. This is a lot easier than drawing, though, it’s more like coloring an existing drawing.”

“Maybe, but some of these details are all you! Did you give her dimples?”

“Hey, you noticed! I gave her freckles too.”

“Oh shit, you did! I can barely make them out, but there they are. Amazing…”

“Well, I’m glad my puny hands are good for something.”

Aiden sits up again, attention back on me. “They’re good for lots of things!” he exclaims. There’s a slightly awkward pause as I’m not sure how to respond, and finally he laughs and says, “Yeah, I don’t know what I mean by that either.”

Man, I really love that smile of his. The kind where it starts out a little self conscious but grows in confidence when our eyes meet. And with a thought as simple as that, I can feel my heart climbing up into my throat.

Ever since Moira and I had that conversation about him last week, I’ve begun taking notice of more things… They’re rather shallow observations. Like how his shoulders aren’t just nice to sit on, but the shape of them is also nice to admire from afar. I’ve started enjoying the way his jaw tapers up, the way his hair frames his face, the way his lips rest when he’s content. I love how long his fingers are when I go to sit on them, and how there’s a smooth curve where his arm meets his wrist, transitioning into his thumb that feels like a loyal friend at my side. And god, the gorgeous hazel of his eyes still knocks me off-kilter sometimes.

I’ve learned to be very wary of handsome men, but with Aiden it’s different - the way he looks was at the bottom of my priority list for so long. My focus just used to be the scale of him, along with how generous and kind he was. But the simple ways in which I’ve found him alluring have slowly been sneaking up on me in the background. It doesn’t make any sense to me, the fact that I can be so… physically attracted to someone who’s more of a landscape to me than a person, but that’s exactly what’s happening. It’s only recently that I’ve really been made aware. It… might become a bit of a problem.

“I think I’d like to have at least a dozen ready before I officially try to launch anything,” I say, turning to look away from the giant for a second so that I can catch my breath. “The next thing I’ll need to figure out is how to pack them. I have some ideas on that though. Maybe come summer I’ll start making actual money. And soon enough, I’ll finally be able to pay rent!”

I’m half joking, but a quiet sigh from my larger friend tells me the joke didn’t land. Perhaps I’ve made this kind of comment one too many times. He doesn’t quite look annoyed, just a little pained.

“Evie, we’ve been through this. You being here makes no difference in rent. Please stop getting hung up on that, it should be the very last thing you worry about. I’m not going to kick you out.”

“I know, I know.” My voice is a cross between soothing and sad. “I’m just talking longer term. You know that I wish I could contribute more…”

“You contribute plenty. I’ve never had such a clean kitchen counter in my life! And I’ve also never felt so organized with the groceries and cooking. I always end up grabbing junk food during finals, but with all your meal planning I won’t have to.”

He’s humoring me, I know these little favors aren’t actually making that much of a difference. But he makes it sound so convincing. They’re not lies, just an acute ability to find things to compliment. Yet another one of his qualities.

“Speaking of that,” I say, cautiously trying to redirect the conversation, “Did you see the spreadsheet I emailed you?”

The corners of Aiden’s mouth suddenly drop. "Uhhhh… Yeeeah… I totally checked it out…”

I laugh, knowing he’s not nearly as much of a nerd about this stuff as I am. “It’s okay, I only made it last night. It was just to put everything we talked about in one place, and that way you have a grocery list ready to go for tomorrow. It’s already off track, though, I wasn’t expecting you to be here right now… I was planning on you getting takeout for lunch and leftovers for dinner.”

“How about the reverse?” the giant suggests, offering me his hand. “I’ll go get some leftovers now. Want to join me?”

I’ve already stepped on before he finished his sentence, a clear answer that makes him chuckle. The usual vertigo of being lifted up feels more like butterflies in my stomach as I gaze up along his body, not worrying about our destination but instead just… looking at him.

I’m feeling a sense of curiosity as I stare. He could have simply brought his food back to the desk. There’s no reason for me to come along. But he’s always offering to carry me around everywhere. Why is that, I wonder? Is it always just a favor, to give me a change of scenery?

I move my attention to his fingers. They’ve folded inwards for me to hold onto as usual, but I take notice of the way part of his middle finger presses up on one side of my waist while his thumb is braced against the other side. He’s gingerly moving the digits against me, ever so gently rubbing me between them, a gesture that I doubt he’s even conscious of. Maybe that’s why he likes carrying me around, maybe I’m just something to fiddle with as he goes about his business. I’m such a small point of contact to him.

But to me it feels very different. He can easily touch so much of me at once. The pressure, the warmth, the delicate intention of it all… it’s pretty addicting. Intoxicating, even. And as I sit here, so little in the palm of his hand, for the first time I feel a wave of something new. A humbling but not unpleasant awe at being held so softly by someone so incredibly powerful.

I expected Aiden to put me down on the counter, but he keeps me held aloft as he opens up the freezer to pick out his lunch. Some of the cold air drifts down and I shiver as it rolls over me, which he seems to notice. With a casual movement, his fingers curl in further to cover more of me and he holds me up against his chest.

“Does it matter which one I pick for the meal plan?” he asks.

“Nope! If it’s frozen it’s fair game,” I answer, and it’s only when I hear my own masked nervousness that I realize he had a similar tone. Come to think of it, his nearby heart is starting to beat a little faster. But why would he be nervous right now?

To my surprise, he still holds onto me as he goes to put the food in the microwave, despite the fact that it’ll take a while for it to defrost. This is definitely out of the norm, and I’m starting to wonder if something’s wrong. I lean back against his thumb, away from his chest as I try to look up at his face. He notices me out of the corner of his eye and looks down to meet my gaze.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, “Do you need space? I can put you down.”

“No,” I say quickly, then I realize how overeager I sounded and add, “Just, uh… you alright?”

Aiden doesn’t answer at first as he slowly breathes in and out, his eyes looking past me. Then they come back to join mine and finally he says, “I’m just conscious of the fact that I’m about to be so busy. Next week is going to be absolute hell, and the week after will be even worse. I don’t think I’ll really have much time to hang out and I… I guess I’m already sad about it.”

Those butterflies in my stomach are feeling more like hornets now. I suppose I wasn’t the only one who had thought about us having less time for each other soon. I slide back across his hand to push myself up against his chest in a hug, and he closes the distance with his fingertips, resting them against my back. “It’s just two weeks,” I say to try and comfort him, “And I’ll still be right here the whole time to cheer you on.”

“Yeah, I know, I’m being dramatic.”

“Well, you’re the one who has to actually deal with school stress… I don’t mind you being a little clingy."

What am I saying? What are we doing? My mind goes to where it normally does in similar situations. We’re so intertwined into each other’s lives that it’s only natural that we really care about each other. And it makes sense that we would touch more than average roommates, because I’d never leave the desk otherwise. He’s the type of person who likes helping others, so I think he enjoys looking after me, almost like he would a pet. That’s all this is. I mostly convince myself of it, but instead of feeling the usual reassurances from this mental exercise… I feel a little sad. Why am I so out of sorts today?

I look up at how much time is left on the microwave and I speak without thinking, throwing out a stupid idea. “We’ve got ten minutes. Can you go lie down on your stomach on the couch?”

Aiden stiffens. “…What?”

This is so stupid. "Or on the floor. I just want to try something.”

The giant continues to balk, staring down at me still leaned up against his chest. "R-right now?”

“Uh huh. Bring me with.”

With a hesitant “okay…” we’re headed back into the living room. Aiden’s a bit too tall to fully stretch out on the couch, so he opts for the floor instead, cupping me carefully as he kneels down and then lowers all the way onto his front.

From his position propped on his elbows, he looks straight down at me still sitting in his hands, which are currently resting on the floor. “Now what?” he asks, bemused.

I give him a playful smile. “Can you put me on your shoulder?”

Silently he obliges, bringing one hand up to lift me close to his neck. Grabbing onto his shirt, I pull myself higher, climbing further than I normally would until I’m hoisting myself over his shoulder blade now, reaching his upper back. Once the slope of his body is level enough, I get to my feet and start stepping towards his spine with intentionally slow and weighted footsteps.

His dark hair has grown a little bit since I’ve moved in, but the nape of his neck is still plenty exposed. I notice it’s lighting up with goosebumps as I walk on him, as if I’m just causing a slight tickle. Not quite what I was going for…

“Are you gonna fill me in?” Aiden asks, and I can only see the back of his head and not his expression, but he clearly still sounds very confused.

So, so stupid. “I’m not sure this is working how I’d hoped,” I call back. “I was wanting to give you a little massage, to maybe help with the stress. But I think I’m too light.”

There’s a pause. “Oh. I see. I mean, it… it does feel nice…”

I can’t help laughing at how tense he sounds and I start heading back the way I’d come. “Don’t force yourself, I’ll get off of you.”

The massive back quakes and I almost lose my balance from the sudden yet slow descent as Aiden gets all the way down and buries his face into his arms. His words are muffled by his posture, but from where I’m standing I can feel them vibrating up through me. “I’m serious. That feels really good.”

My mouth quickly goes dry. “Oh, well, um… good! Just relax then.” I go back to ambling across his back and cross over the bump of his backbone. “I could even do this while you’re studying! Who says we can’t still hang out?”

The giant’s head tilts down as he further curls in on himself, ears turning red from the awkwardness of the situation. “Thank you," he rumbles, "You’re totally spoiling me.”

He’s wrong. I stabilize myself against his protruding shoulder blade and glance back towards his head, observing the line of his neck and the edge of his jaw. I look the other way, along the length of his back that subtly slopes downward to a slight dip above his tailbone. His body is so vast, stretching out on all sides. I feel his muscles below me, the warmth of his skin through his shirt. I do care about his stress levels, I do want to do something nice for him, but… my little expedition is truly, mostly, very selfish.

[Olo]

@littlest-lily My touchscreen is all fogged up.

[littlest-lily]

Chapter 30
Aiden

I had a weird dream last night. I was at one of the labs from school I think, though everything felt off, in that dream-like way. There was an odd tension in the air, but then I wake up and I’m actually a little calmer than usual, feeling especially comfortable against my pillow, and the dream is quickly forgotten. It’s like the quiet before the tumultuous storm of the coming weeks, but it’s quiet nonetheless, and I take a moment to enjoy it.

I turn 26 today. The only plan I have is bulk cooking with Evie tonight, one last push to prep for final exam hell. But I look forward to it. I roll over in bed and turn to my nightstand, to the ridiculously tiny paper crane - the first of her origami creations - that I ended up displaying right next to the table lamp. Like it has on so many mornings, it gives me the strength to smile and get out of bed. I was up late studying last night and don’t have much time at all this morning as a result, so I have to grab breakfast and eat on the go. I make sure my mini roommate is fed and watered and then with a quick goodbye I’m out.

The stresses of the day are certainly there, most of it coming from my TA job, but all the other students are buzzing with excitement over it being Friday and so close to the end of the semester. It’s the last day of classes before a full week off to allow us to focus on studying for finals. Thankfully all of my exams are within the first few days… so in two weeks from right now I’ll be finished with them.

And then, freedom. Freedom to do whatever I want. With whoever I want. The anticipation is enough to help me coast through the day. By the time I get back home it’s almost 4:30, and I’m tired but so relieved to be coming back to a no-study evening.

I step inside and proceed to jump at a loud sound coming from the desk. What the hell?

I don’t bother taking off my backpack or shoes, I’m just hurrying over, operating on pure instinct. It was a weird sound, like a trumpet or something… or like one of those paper party horns?

And within a second I’ve put it together. Evie herself doesn’t have a party horn - she would be too small to operate one - but she’s playing a sound effect on her phone. She keeps pushing the replay button as I make my way to her, beaming up at me as she lets the obnoxious sound loose. When I’m close enough she steps away from the phone and hops closer to me, throwing her arms up above her.

“Happy birthday!” she yells, and the sight of her jumping up and down so eagerly is one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen.

“Thank you!” I laugh, unable to contain a goofy grin. “I didn’t expect you to remember.”

“Of course I did! You didn’t think I’d immediately take note of that when you told me what day it was?”

“Okay, yeah, that tracks. Thanks, Evie. I’m so glad that it’s Friday too.”

“Let’s celebrate!” she chirps, knowing full well I’m not studying today, “Sorry if I freaked you out when you came in, go unpack and settle or whatever.”

I do so, walking back to the front door so I can slip off my shoes and backpack. Once I return to the desk, my tiny friend is dragging something out from behind her bathroom. It’s an origami crane, a larger version than the one currently sitting on my nightstand. I frown in confusion. It was my turn to respond to the notes, not her.

“Open it,” says Evie, a little out of breath from pushing a paper bird that’s bigger than she is.

I pick it up and find a seam so that I can carefully unfold the origami. I’m even more perplexed by the note that’s written within it.

You’ve been working so hard, now it’s time for a game
If we didn’t celebrate it would be such a shame!
So first take a look at a place we hang out
To watch shows or play Magic or just laze about

“What’s this?” I ask, looking back to the shrunken girl who’s smirking up at me.

“What does it look like?” she quips back.

“You want me to actually…?” I trail off and turn my head towards the location the note is clearly referring to. We only ever watch shows while sitting on the couch. My eyes scan the cushions before dipping down to the floor. And then I see it, on the side of the couch, tucked mostly under it… a corner of white paper. I crouch down and see that there’s another crane.

“Whoa. You got this all the way over here?" I pick up the bird before getting back to my feet. “Good throw…”

“You have to keep opening them!” Evie insists. My smile is growing as I do so, unfolding the paper to see its message. Did she really do what I think she did?

Next is the home for all of your friends
Be them crystals or fossils, minerals or gems

My eyes immediately move towards the shelf at the opposite wall, my rock collection sitting on top of it. Sure enough, a thin white beak is peeking out from behind one of the agates.

“Hold on now," I say, walking over to pluck up the paper bird, “How did you get it up here?” I pause for a second, weighing the origami in my hand before I look back to the little woman on the table. “Did Moira come over today?”

“Maaaybe.” Evie’s grinning, looking like she can hardly contain herself.

How many of these are there? I open up the note and read it avidly.

For this next one, let me give you a tour
Because it’s sitting with all my leftovers, not yours

At the mention of leftovers, I briefly start pivoting towards the kitchen until I remember the next part. I walk back to the desk and take a seat.

“May I?” I ask, motioning over to the mini fridge on the table.

“Be my guest,” Evie responds, backing up to give me space.

I open it up and am greeted by the next bird, though I also make a mental note in the back of my head that my roommate is apparently out of food. I definitely want to address that before prepping for finals. I almost laugh out loud as even the note seems to be calling me out.

Oh no, look at that! It’s empty in here
Maybe if we restock the next clue will appear

“Okay, that’s the kitchen,” I confirm to myself out loud, and before I can even look down at her Evie’s trying to climb onto my free hand that’s laying on the desk. I affectionately help pull her aboard with my fingers, giving her body a little hand hug before I loosen my grip and stand up.

I carry her to the kitchen, scanning the counters, checking the pantry, and finally opening the full-sized fridge. Sitting on top of the egg carton like an undersized mother hen is another origami crane.

This next location will depend on the weather
It’s a lovely place where we would study together

This one actually stumps me for a minute. I glance over the kitchen island towards the couch, which is where most of my studying happens these days, but she’s already used that location. Holding Evie close, I amble back into the living room and scan the surface of the desk. “Umm… There aren’t too many places that I study…” I mutter, now looking around near my feet on the floor.

“Really?” her little voice pipes up from near my chest, prompting me. “Can’t think of aaany other places we’ve gone to together?”

I briefly think of my bedroom, where I’ve normally been working late at night. But I don’t go there with her. I look back at the message and focus on how it mentions the weather. Suddenly I’m thinking about the metal table we’ve visited several times in the courtyard downstairs…

“Wait. Are we about to go outside?”

Evie sits up straighter in my hand, a little twitch against my skin, all but confirming my guess with her big smile. “If that’s where you think we should go…” she says, trying and failing to sound cryptic.

I grin right back at her and am glad that I’m already wearing a shirt that has a pocket. I lift her up and help her slide right in. Before I leave I pause to take a quick look around the apartment, briefly reminiscing on all the little spots she just had me revisit. Mundane spaces made special.

It feels really nice outside as the days are getting warmer, the promise of summer on the horizon. Between that and this adorable game we’re in the middle of, my spirits are soaring high.

“We should still come out here once school’s done,” I whisper to my passenger, “We could bring your tray and play Magic…”

“Maybe,” she responds with a laugh, “Might be harder to hide me if we’re openly playing like that.”

I’ve looked around where we normally sit and don’t immediately see anything, so now I’m crouching down, keeping a mindful hand near my pocket. I find the next clue taped up to the bottom of the table.

“How many times have we ever seen another person pass through here, though?” I point out, carefully extricating the paper from its sticky bindings, “And I don’t care if some stranger thinks I’m crazy playing by myself.” Evie hums in agreement and shifts against me to peer out of the pocket as I read the next message.

A great metal beast is what this looks like to me
But to you it’s a way to get where you want to be

The parking garage is just a quick walk from here, so I take another moment to linger again, picturing my tiny friend strolling across the metal table before me. A vision of the past, or perhaps the future. And then when I do get to my car, I go through a similar exercise, remembering the rather stressful experiences of driving with her, but also looking forward to trying it again. I’ve recently thought of a way to reinforce my pocket to keep her safer for next time, just need to find a way to make it. I love the idea of visiting new places with her.

It takes me a little while to find the note this time. I look around the perimeter of the car, squatting down to glance underneath and even peering in through the windows. Evie eventually helps me out by suggesting to look closer at the tires, and I find the clue sitting on top of one of them.

A place full of flowers and picnics and fun
If you get to this one, you’ll be almost done

“I guess we’re going on a walk,” I say with a wide smile. I’m enjoying this so much.

“If that’s okay!” the little one at my chest responds, leaning almost a bit too far out as she looks up at me.

“Absolutely.” I put my fingers up against the exterior of the pocket, sensing her tiny body from the outside. Keeping her stable is an excuse, when in reality I just can’t stay away.

It’s another moment where I wish I could give her a real, full-sized hug. Maybe a quick kiss on the forehead while I’m at it. I can’t remember the last time someone’s done anything this elaborate for my birthday, and if I stop too long to really think about it I honestly might get emotional.

As we walk, Evie and I discuss summer plans. Since it’s still a weekday, there are a lot of people around and our conversation gets frequently interrupted, until she mentions to me a trick that apparently Moira has used before. From then on I pretend to be on the phone, able to chat with her more openly, a technique I now plan to employ often. She still seems a bit hesitant to respond too loudly, but I’m confident that if anyone walked by and heard her, they’d sooner think the faint voice was coming from my phone rather than my pocket.

It’s a wonderful preview of times to come. I’ll still have to work during the summer, but there will be no classes, no homework, no studying. We could go on walks like this every day if we wanted to. We discuss what shows we want to watch and board games we want to play, where we might want to go for hikes and for picnics. I can’t wait. Just gotta get through these next two weeks, and then nothing will be in our way.

We get to the park and I almost need Evie’s help again to find the clue, until I notice a small black box among the flowers that I know wasn’t there before. Sure enough, the origami bird’s inside, the receptacle simply a way to keep the paper from blowing away or get too easily noticed by a passerby.

I hope you liked memory lane as much as I do
Now off to Mo’s place! She’s made a breakthrough!

Saying that I’ve liked memory lane would be an understatement. God, I can’t believe I’ve only known this girl for a couple of months. What a meaningful gift that she’s set up for me. So meaningful that I can’t help but wonder. Can’t help but hope….

I haven’t been to Moira’s apartment very often since she’s so rarely home alone and I don’t want to intrude on her roommates. I know the general direction of the building, and then Evie helps point out which door to aim for when I get close. No one’s around so I go ahead and gently pull my friend out of my pocket as I knock on the door. Thankfully the occupant notices the tiny person I’m holding, so that when she answers excitedly she’s very careful about the way she hugs me just below the ribs.

“You made it! Oh my god, I’ve been so weirdly nervous while waiting and wondering when you guys would show up… Come here, come see!”

She pulls on my free arm and the door shuts behind me as I stumble in. Without really giving me a chance to get my bearings, Moira waves her hand over to her dining table. My eyes settle onto the lone item on its surface, adorned with a big red bow.

“It’s not much…” Evie says, her voice a little weak. “I just remembered you mentioning an interest in gardening, and then Mo worked her magic… Now you can make pesto whenever you want!”

It’s a basil plant. Tall and green, sitting in a flower pot that looks simple and gray except for a large fake crack of color down the center, where the ceramic is textured and painted to resemble emeralds. It looks beautiful, like a tree growing out of a geode.

Wide-eyed, I look between my two diminutive friends. “You guys…" I manage to choke out.

My eyes have met Moira’s and she waves me away. “Don’t look at me. All of it was Evie’s idea, I just made the pot.”

I gaze down at the tiny, gorgeous, thoughtful girl cradled in my hands. She beams back up at me, brimming with infectious excitement. And in response I lift her right up to my face, closer than ever, so close that I get double vision for a second. I close my eyes and gently press her up against the space between them. I can tell by the way her body moves that she’s startled by this unprecedented showing of affection, but she recovers as quickly as ever. I feel her little hands hug around the bridge of my nose and she leans her forehead against mine, giggling softly. I’m so caught up in the moment that if I didn’t have an audience I would have surely confessed my feelings to her right then and there.

And would that be so wrong? I can’t just be imagining how strong our connection is, can I? We’ve come so far. Maybe we could make it work. Maybe it would be okay. Maybe if I was honest we could be happier than ever…

But the fear of ruining everything is still lurking below the surface. I can’t. Especially not now - I don’t want to jeopardize everything Evie’s done for me today. So instead I just whisper, “You’re the best.” Her response is a tighter embrace and a quiet “So are you.”

The rest of the world might as well have disappeared.

[Olo]

@littlest-lily

[littlest-lily]

Chapter 31
Evie

Being right up against Aiden’s face is an intimacy that I never expected. His eyes already dazzle me from afar, but from so close it’s almost like looking into the sun, to the point that I’m a little relieved that he’s closed them so that I can catch my breath. And there’s a surprising comfort in touching our foreheads together. Something about it just helps me feel more human. As if being this high up makes me more of an equal. As if it wouldn’t be all that different if we did this at my old size.

I don’t want it to end. But all in all, the moment is pretty short lived, just a couple of seconds, as any longer would have probably been really awkward for Moira who’s standing right there. I sit back against Aiden’s hand as he lowers me down to a more reasonable distance.

I’m still practically vibrating with excited energy after the last few hours. It was almost three weeks ago that I had the treasure hunt idea and I’ve been working on physically building the clues for the past few days. I spent the entire morning folding them up as fast as I could, something I had to do last minute since I didn’t have a place to hide them once they became the bulkier cranes. I was so anxious about getting everything ready, and it’s such a relief that the plan ended up going off without a hitch. I hope my little creative project helps make up for how little money I spent on the birthday gift. I certainly had fun at least, and I think he did too.

“I don’t mean to rush you,” Moira says timidly, “But you’ve got about twenty minutes before your dinner reservation… Diego’s on his way here to pick you up.”

Aiden does a double take. “Excuse me?”

“Oh. Right, that’s the other part of the surprise,” I explain, a little flustered post face-hug, “You’re going out with friends for dinner and karaoke tonight!”

He lets out an incredulous laugh. “Are you serious?”

“It’s been a while since you’ve gone out with everyone. I think they’re all looking forward to seeing you,” Mo says encouragingly. “Hopefully it’s okay that we took that initiative.”

“Yeah, of course it is! But…” His eyes gravitate to me and it’s like I can see various thoughts beginning to flood his mind.

“All the cooking will still get done,” I assure him, “That’s why I planned out stuff that Moira can help with.”

“If you don’t mind me using your kitchen,” Moira chimes in. “And that way we’re not leaving Evie by herself. You know karaoke’s not my thing anyway."

Aiden’s laughing in earnest now, shaking his head in disbelief. “You two are going to make me cry. This is too much.” He holds me closer to his chest and pulls our other friend in too, playfully encircling her into a headlock to simulate a group hug.

“Happy birthday, man,” Mo says with a giggle, squirming out of his grasp. “Now you go meet up with the guys downstairs. I’ll take it from here.” She holds a hand out, ready to receive me.

“O-okay." The giant hesitates, cupping his hands around me as he gives me a significant look. His thumb trails along my arm and he says softly, “I just wish you could come too.”

“Someday,” I tell him reassuringly. I don’t really know what I mean by that, but I press on, “Please, go enjoy your other friends, you deserve a break from everything. I’ll see you at home!”

Aiden smiles and shifts his hand to be above Moira’s before carefully sliding me off. “Seriously, guys,” he says, his glance encircling us both as he starts to turn towards the door, “Thank you so much for this.”

When he leaves I’m left feeling a little dizzy after so much excitement. It’s a good thing being handled is second nature to me now so that I’m not worried about falling from my high-up perch.

“It went well, then?” Mo asks, bringing me over to her dining table so that we can sit and relax for a minute.

“Yes!” I say jovially as I hop onto the wooden surface, although my buzz is slowly deflating like a punctured tire now that everything is over. “Sorry, I severely underestimated how long it would take. I’m glad we still made it back in time.”

I catch her up on the past two or so hours, recounting it from my own perspective of revisiting all of those significant locations. Admittedly, our world is pretty small to the average person. But it’s been chock full of happy moments and is plenty large enough for me.

Moira’s big green eyes soften by the time I get to the end of my recap. "Sounds like it turned out to be a fun afternoon. I think you made him so happy, Evie.”

“Yeah, he’s never quite… hugged me like that before,” I say, and I look down at the ground as I mess with the hem of my shirt.

“I wasn’t gonna say anything,” Moira responds with a grin, “but that was really, really cute.”

I shouldn’t have said anything either. I waver on the spot and my knees feel weak. Suddenly I plop down, parking myself into a seat. I wrap my arms around myself and lower my head.

"I’m in deep, aren’t I?” I finally admit.

There’s a pause before my friend lets out a sigh. "Yeaaah… I really think you might be…”

I clutch myself a little tighter, feeling a nervous flame light up at the base of my stomach. After a moment of squirming I just say, "I don’t know what to do.”

From the shuffling sound nearby I can tell she’s leaning in closer. "Would you like me to talk to him?” she asks softly.

"No!” I yelp, snapping my head back up, the anxious fire flaring up inside. “Please, please don’t tell him about this.”

"Okay, okay.” Moira pulls back again, arms sliding off the table, clearly taken aback by my sharp tone. “I won’t.”

Shit, my reaction was too much. I’m probably freaking her out, I didn’t mean to slip into this state all of a sudden. I need to try and reel myself back in.

"I’m sorry, I just…” My voice is a little shaky. Hell, my whole body is shaky. “Honestly, the idea of dating… anybody freaks me out. Much less trying to be with someone at this size.”

"Yeah, you’ve mentioned that you swore off dating,” she says gently, “Do you mind if I ask why?”

“I… um…”

The sense of disquiet continues to smolder in my chest. Old memories start to reach out to me, threatening to grab me and whisk me away. I stare off into space as it feels like the colors are getting sucked out of my environment.

I see so much of it at once, like scattered pieces of a puzzle. An old, dingy diner. Broken red ceramic. Police car lights. Three flights of stairs, an embrace waiting at the top. A deep, lush forest. Hands encircling my wrists. A male voice crying. “I’m begging you… Please, don’t do this…” A kitchen floor covered in blood.

My stomach lurches, and it’s lucky that I’m already sitting down. Desperately I try to come back up to the surface and chase away the visions I wish would just vanish forever. Somehow I keep my voice relatively calm despite how broken I feel inside. "I’ve had some… bad experiences. Sorry, I’d rather not get into it.”

Moira nods, her eyes still fixed on me as if at any second I might combust on the spot. "That’s alright. I’m sorry to hear it.”

Get a hold of yourself, I admonish. I have to put the lid back on, choke out the fire. I swallow all of it down, force a smile onto my face. And try to alter course. Aiden… Just focus on Aiden…

"I don’t know, what do you think of him?” I manage to ask with a more casual tone, raising my eyes up shyly. Actually, come to think of it, she’s known him for way longer. I should have been wondering about this a long time ago. “Have you ever… considered…?”

“What, me and Aiden?” Unexpectedly, Moira suddenly looks like she just drank sour milk. “Oh, god no.”

The sudden change in her demeanor brings out a quiet but genuine laugh out of me. “That bad, huh?” I comment, loosening up my posture.

“Right, okay, that was rude. He’s great, he just reminds me sooo much of my brother. They even look really similar. That might be why we became good friends, but it’s only ever been platonic… I’m sure he’d be a great partner, just not for me.” Her smile is a bit suggestive, though she seems hesitant to be any more blatant after my previous outburst.

I can’t help feeling relieved. If Moira took an interest in him then I’d definitely have no chance. Not that I have a chance now. Nor do I want one. Or rather… I shouldn’t want one…

This little detour does help lighten the mood, and we’re able to move on to simpler subjects. Soon enough, I’m packed aboard the giant purse and together we head back to where I live. The entire time we’re debating which Disney movie we should put on in the background while cooking, and by the time we make it home it’s as if my moment of panic had never happened.

We set up the basil plant on my side of the desk, so that it can get sunlight and so that I can be the one to water it. I definitely don’t want to give Aiden more responsibilities, especially in the next couple of weeks. Plus the fake green geode looks rather nice beside my real purple one.

Moira’s just as good of a cook as I am, so she doesn’t need any direction from me in the kitchen, though I do what I can to help - checking cracked eggs for any tiny bits of shell and the like. Mostly I assist with drying the dishes that Mo’s cleaning as we go, and we bounce between chatting and snacking and enjoying the movie.

I hope the birthday boy is having fun. He’s rarely ever out in the evenings, and although I initially had tried to find a way for Moira to at least join the group for dinner, I’m grateful for the company now. Despite her being so accustomed to me, she’s always so considerate - she made sure I had access to food and water right away, she ensures her phone isn’t too loud or too far, and she’s the one who asked if I could help dry the dishes when she saw me looking restless with nothing to do. I truly couldn’t be happier to have her as a friend.

It’s almost 11pm when we hear the front door unlock. At this point, the meals have been made and packed away, the kitchen is clean, and we’ve been hanging out at the desk. I’d just been consoling her about some work frustrations, and the conversation had come to a natural stop when Aiden comes in. Even from across the room I can tell he’s all smiles. He offers to drive Mo home as she gets up to leave, but she declines since she had thought ahead and parked her car here this morning, back when she helped me plant the treasure hunt clues.

“Besides,” she says as she gives him a goodbye hug and then pulls away to shoot him a pointed look, “Should you even be driving right now?”

“Wha? I’m not drunk,” he responds with a laugh. “Diego’s the one who got plastered, we ended up having Tyler drive his car.”

“Yeah okay, I can believe that. Alright, you have a good night!” The door shuts behind her.

Aiden’s brilliant smile as he comes over to the desk makes me feel weak. I was too far away from the giants to be able to take part in their brief conversation, but I pipe up now that he’s closer.

“A little tipsy, maybe?” I tease, seeing the slight shift from his usual demeanor.

“I don’t think so?” he chuckles as he sits down, “I had exactly two drinks, and I don’t think they were very strong. I’m probably just riding off the high, it was a great night.” His voice does sound a little fried from all the singing, but he doesn’t seem to pay that any mind. He regards me with what I can only describe as a gentle intensity, his smile never quite leaving his face even when his tone gets a little sadder. “I really just wish you could’ve been there. Without it blowing your ears out of course.”

I step towards him, closer to the edge of the desk. “Yeah, that would have been nice. But I’m just so happy you had fun! You should probably get some sleep now, though, it’s getting late.”

“Right, I don’t want to sleep in too long… Gotta hit the books in the morning. I do feel really refreshed, at least.”

Aiden continues to study me, and he slowly brings a hand up to his mouth. For a second he runs the side of his forefinger against his bottom lip, as if hesitating about something. I’m about to playfully chide him and tell him to get moving, when I notice something I find odd. He’s moved the end of his finger directly in front of his mouth. Is he shushing me?

No. He’s kissing the tip of his finger. And then the hand travels down to where I stand frozen. And he touches me on the cheek.

“Thank you so much for today,” he murmurs softly, pulling his hand away again. “Thanks for… for everything.”

Too shocked to react otherwise, I smile as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. “Sure thing. Happy birthday.”

He goes to bed after that. But I lay awake for hours on end.

[Olo]

@littlest-lily Everything went perfectly. That’s what alarms me.

[littlest-lily]

@Olo I don’t know what you’re talking about

[littlest-lily]

Chapter 32
Evie

Things are getting a little rough.

I can’t complain too much. At this point, I feel like between Aiden and me, I’m the one who has more freedom. I don’t have to stay up late working on papers or poring over textbooks. I could watch movies all day if I really wanted to, never having to worry about grades. I have plenty of opportunities to be productive in my own way, and my collection of painted figurines has been growing rapidly. But the loneliness feels sharper than ever.

I miss him even more than I thought I would. I had just been reaching a point where I knew I couldn’t ignore my feelings anymore. He hadn’t even actually kissed me - I don’t think that’s physically possible - but that simple gesture on his birthday night had been enough to give me a sense of hope. It gave me the strength to pull my head out of the sand just enough to wonder… if he might truly feel something for me after all. Is he somehow able to see past my size? As if it was some kind of disability that he’s maybe willing to work through? I don’t know what it could mean. But I’m starting to open up to the possibility of it.

My troubled memories of a different life feel more and more distant. I start thinking that there’s a chance I could move past them… Maybe I can let go… Especially here, especially with me small and removed from everything that was a problem… Especially with someone as kind and gentle and wonderful as Aiden.

But we don’t have time to think about it right now. He’s fully jumped into preparing for finals and has had no time for anything else. Even though he doesn’t have classes anymore, he still needs to go to work, which has been even more demanding than anticipated, consistently running over schedule and making it that much harder to get everything else done. He’s also frequently out at the library with study groups for long stretches of time. Keeping to myself is hard, but I’ve already intruded enough on his life, I don’t want to get in the way of his education. I can wait. I’m not even sure what I’m waiting for, but maybe in two weeks things will start making sense again.

In the meantime, though, I’m struggling. Curse this stupid three inch stature. It makes everything that much harder.

I quickly realize that I need to avoid taking actual baths using the hot plate. I don’t want to make Aiden dump out the dirty water all the time, so I’ve just been using my bathtub as a place to rinse myself off after washing up at the water tank. This means using cold water everyday. But certainly not the end of the world.

The lightbulb for the desk lamp burns out at one point. It happens in the evening while my roommate is out, and he thinks I’ve already gone to bed by the time he gets home. I don’t correct him and have resorted to sitting in the dark anytime that he’s not around at night.

At one point my phone begins having a strange issue where the battery drains despite it being plugged in. I want to try unplugging and replugging it, but when I yank out the charger cable, I lose my balance and drop it, and it slides right off the back of the desk. I dejectedly resign myself to not being able to use my phone for much longer, and then when Aiden notices the fallen charger on his own the next day and helps me out, I feel mortified. It only takes him a few seconds to rethread the cable back up to the desk’s surface, but any extra effort spent on me when he’s this stressed out is too much.

Food becomes a bit of a problem too. My giant keeper is out or busy the majority of the time, and he’s been losing track of how stocked my mini fridge is. The rare times that he eats at home he gives me part of his meal, and since my portions are always too much for me I’ve been able to make do. But he’s gone so often that at one point I completely run out of fresh food. Evening hits and the only things I have available for dinner are the non-perishable options we had set up months ago.

And then I realize I’m too small to open the granola bar. Too weak to access the bag of crackers. The plastic film is just too thick and unwieldy. I probably would have waited things out if I had any idea when Aiden would get home, but my hunger pushes me forward. Finally, after well over two hours of hacking and sawing away at the cracker packet with my plastic letter opener, I finally manage to pierce through the packaging. Hands blistered, arms shaking, exhausted tears rolling down my face, I reach inside to pull out the bland, meager meal.

I’m so frustrated by my weakness I could scream.

Honestly, it’s a pretty humbling experience. The slightest inconvenience is magnified tenfold for me. What would I do without Aiden in my life? Without Moira? What if I didn’t even have access to this apartment right now? If I was on my own, trying to survive on the streets, it would be infinitely worse. I wouldn’t make it past nightfall. As the days slowly crawl by I become fully aware, more than ever, of just how desperately helpless I am.

It’s Sunday night, the day just before exams begin. My giant friend is thankfully at home now, but we’ve hardly exchanged any words at all today. He’s sitting on the floor while facing the ottoman, leaning over a textbook alongside handwritten notes. He looks like a zombie, eyes glazed over, having sat in silence for hours. In some kind of solidarity, I’m actually studying as well right now, sort of. I’m looking through my Construction Technology spiral book for ideas on how to make packaging for the figures I’m painting. Might as well be productive when I can.

My stomach complains loudly… The mini fridge is empty again. I could go have some more of the crackers, but it’s been a couple of days since I’d opened them so they’re quite stale at this point. I figure that it’s almost dinner time - I can wait a little longer for the big guy to initiate the next meal.

My phone buzzes and I hop off of the textbook to hurry over to it. Moira’s been having a rough go too. She’s flying out tomorrow so that she can host a panel at this animation convention in Florida. She’d been prepping diligently for weeks and then received a slew of last-minute changes from the convention organizers a few days ago that threw some wrenches in her plans. I miss her so much too. I haven’t seen her in over a week, and I don’t think we’ve gone this long without hanging out since we’ve met. I open her latest text avidly.

Yep, I think it’s finally finished. Thanks for all the support Evie!! Having you to vent to has been a lifesaver.

I let out a sigh. All I’ve had to offer are words. I wish I could do more to help my two unattainably large friends. I can’t even take care of myself.

I gaze at Aiden past the edge of the phone. As exhausted and stressed as he is, as disheveled and borderline depressed as he looks… I still enjoy the sight of him. I see right past the dark shadows under his eyes, noticing instead the flicker of determined focus he still manages to muster. The tone of the muscles in his arm are just the same as they’ve always been, and I admire their slight flexing from his grip on his pencil. His posture is worse than usual, but the shape of his back is still so nice.

I exhale wistfully. He hardly talks to me anymore. Hardly touches me. I haven’t even left this desk since his birthday. It was all expected and part of the plan, I know it’s not his choice. The brief moments we have been able to share have felt like gasps of oxygen. Every morning that he’s able to spend a couple of minutes talking to me, I always wrap my arms around as many of his fingers as I can to give him an encouraging hug and wish him luck with his work for the day. It’s not enough. It’s never enough, for either of us.

I even miss our letters to each other. It doesn’t feel like that should be making such a big difference, but it really does. Sometimes those little messages were what really helped me get through the day. The ball is still in his court. But I can wait.

I’ve been zoning out while just staring at him, so I jump a little when the giant sits up higher to lean back and stretch with a grunt. He stares at the ceiling for a few seconds until he swings his face towards the desk. I bristle as he looks right at me.

“How are you doing?” he asks with an attempt at a smile.

He’s asked me this on occasion during his too-short study breaks, but my answer is always the same. “All good here!”

Suddenly Aiden straightens up, so abruptly and intensely that I take an intimidated step back. Before I can ask him what’s wrong, he makes it clear. “I didn’t get you water this morning, did I?”

No, he didn’t. This is actually the second time it’s happened, he didn’t realize at all the first time. “It’s okay, I still have some,” I say, but he’s already standing up to walk over, reaching a hand out towards the small dish. I continue to fret as his fingers pass overhead, “And there’s still a ton in the water tank, I’m fine!”

“It’ll just take a second,” he says, picking the bowl up, “The tank water is for cleaning, right? You should have something fresh for drinking.”

I fiddle with my hands anxiously as I watch him go to the kitchen. I feel caught between two paths right now. I want to stop burdening him. But I want to be with him. I want to help. But I don’t want to bother.

When Aiden goes to put the dish of fresh water back down, my body decides for me, moving of its own accord. I suddenly grab onto his index finger right as he’s pulling away, and he’s dragged me forward an inch before going very still. When I look up, his expression is a mixture of startled, confused, and longing.

“Uhh.” I try to scramble for a reason why I stopped him. “Would… would you like a massage? While you study?” We blink at each other until I add, “You know, like that one time…”

The giant’s brow furrows and embarrassment lurches inside me. No matter how he feels about me, this is a distraction that I shouldn’t be causing.

“I don’t want to end up falling asleep if I lay down, especially with you on me…” Aiden finally says, looking off to the side as I continue to cling to his hand.

My grip tightens. “J-just the shoulders, maybe? You can sit upright then.”

He looks at me for a few moments longer, pensive and bleary eyed. Finally the corner of his mouth ticks up. He flips his hand over to give me the space to climb onto it. “You’re really hard to resist, you know that?”

I don’t respond, sheepishly stepping on and letting myself crumble to my knees in his palm. It feels like far longer than the nine days it’s been since he’s picked me up like this. The all-encompassing warmth of his hand as he brings his fingers in around me is enough to make tears well up in my eyes. He carries me with him to the couch and, having lost none of his confidence in handling a shrunken person, gently sets me onto his shoulder.

I want to just lay against his neck and feel as much of him as I can at once, but I have a job to do. Aiden picks up his notes to lean them on his knees and I start walking along the length of his shoulder. I’m sure it’s just a light touch at first but when I reverse course to the other side, able to carefully shimmy around the back of his neck since he’s leaned forward just enough, I come across a particularly firm spot in the muscle.

I crouch down so that I can start massaging in earnest at the knot, the pressure of my movements surely doing more than my weight alone. I’m so small that I worry using my hands might feel a little stabby, so I get down lower to work my entire forearm against his skin. Slowly, bit my bit, I can feel the muscle fibers begin to relax, and I’m rewarded when the giant lets out a quiet sigh through his nose, and the entire shoulder seems to unclench.

I’m determined to find any other little tight spots that I can reach. I’m too tiny to properly help something that’s severe, but my goal is to nip some of the tension in the bud to keep the larger knots from forming in the first place. I’m starting to feel a little woozy from hunger but not enough that I worry I’ll pass out, so I stay silent as I press on. This level of intimacy still feels better than anything else I’ve done this week.

At one point I’m very close to his head again and Aiden sets down his pencil to creep his hand up to where I am. He takes me a little by surprise when his fingers reach me and slip over my frame, pulling me in to tenderly press me against his neck. He tilts his head so that his jaw softly brushes the top of my head.

“I miss you,” he whispers.

My heart aches. I close my eyes and bury my face into his neck. Then I pull back and look up at his ear that’s very close by. I wonder if he’d hear me if I whispered too.

I try it, my hushed tone full of emotion. “I miss you too.” His grip tightens ever so slightly, signaling that he did in fact hear me. Though the next sentence I keep so low under my breath that there’s no way he can catch it. “Please don’t let go…”

My stomach growls loudly just then, and I can feel it vibrate against the skin of his fingers.

“Was that…” There’s a pause before the hand starts loosening its grip and pulling away, to my dismay. “Shoot, what time is it?”

But just then there’s a knock at the door and we both flinch. Not only is this a rare occurrence, it’s particularly odd for someone to show up this late in the evening. Silently Aiden gets up with me still on his shoulder, protective hovering hand nearby. I clench up my limbs, ready for him to hide me if need be, as he walks over to the front door and peers through the peephole.

“Oh hey,” the giant mutters with a smile in his voice, and to my shock he starts opening the door with me in plain sight. On the other side, quite far down from my current perspective, is Moira. She’s got a big grin on her face, green eyes shining with excitement, and she’s carrying a takeout bag that looks more like a sack of potatoes in her hands.

She quickly sees me on my perch and comments, “Huh. I don’t usually have to look up at you, Evie.” Then she takes in the looks on our faces and adds, “You guys didn’t see my text, did you?”

“What text?” Aiden and I ask in unison, followed by a joint chuckle. Guess we’re still in sync.

“I won’t keep you, I don’t have a whole lot of time anyway,” Moira says, “But I wanted to say a quick goodbye before I leave tomorrow! And I also had a hankering for Chinese food. Hopefully I’m not ruining the meal plan.”

“Extra food isn’t a problem,” I chirp as the giant I’m sitting on steps aside to let our friend in. “But you didn’t need to do that!”

"Yeah, that’s too nice of you, Mo…” Aiden adds as he lets the door close.

“But I wanted to!” she says brightly, hoisting the food up onto the countertop. My ride almost reaches out to help, and I think he only pauses to avoid risking me tumbling off of him. Moira gives him a sad smile as she examines his face. “Plus it looks like you could use a breather, man.”

I can feel the deep sigh whoosh out of the massive pillar of a throat that I’m leaning against. “Yeah. I should probably fuel up. I’ll still need to work while I eat, but stay as long as you want.”

“You sure? I don’t want to intrude if you need to get right back to it.”

“Not at all. This one really needs to eat…” Aiden turns towards me - we’re too close together to make eye contact but his chin swings my way. “And I’m guessing you wouldn’t mind some company, yeah?”

“I’d love some,” I admit, trying to subdue the desperation in my voice.

Gingerly he encircles my torso between his fingers and begins lowering me along the length of his body. I crane my neck back and manage to catch his gaze, allowing us to share a smile, before he sets me down on the counter. I hurry towards Moira so that I can give her thumb a big hug, and she affectionately touches my shoulders with a giggle. I’m so happy I get to spend some time with her before her trip, especially after the past long week. Still, I can’t help glancing over my shoulder at the giant who’s gathered up his food and school supplies to take to his room, and I feel a rippling sadness as he closes the door.

[Olo]

@littlest-lily I would be so proud of Evie if she managed to (affectionately) accuse Moira of being a cockblock.

[littlest-lily]

@Olo hahahaha I love that I also imagine her getting angry with her cockblocking stomach

[littlest-lily]

Chapter 33
Aiden

I’ve been visiting this lab a lot lately - the one that’s similar to what I see at school except something’s off. This time there’s something new, though. At the center of the room is… a birdcage. A giant one, one I could easily fit inside of. That’s weird. It’s just sitting there, open and empty. Something about it feels incredibly ominous. But still, I can’t help but feel curious, and I slowly start stepping towards it.

I stop in my tracks as something hits me on the top of the head. Just a small tickle of a feeling, it didn’t hurt at all. I briefly glance around but don’t figure out what it was. I look back towards the cage and put one foot in front of the other…

There it is again. It hits me in the face this time, right against the temple. “Mrrghh,” I groan, slowly lifting my head up from my arms. I squint at the light from my laptop and wince at a pain in my lower back. I raise my head further, disoriented at the sight of my living room. I notice a wide array of tiny paper balls near me, the size of BB gun pellets, all over the floor and the ottoman I’m slouched over.

My eyes gravitate towards the desk, and Evie is standing near the edge, looking very out of breath. “Sorry!” she calls out, “You fell asleep and couldn’t hear me yelling from here.”

Oh, that’s what I felt hit me. A wad of paper. I rub my eyes and sit up straighter, slowly coming back to the world. “Thanks for waking me up,” I finally respond groggily, “I’m impressed you could throw that far…”

“It was not my first attempt,” she says with a breathless laugh, “Sorry, I kinda made a mess.”

“No worries.”

I start sweeping up the dozens of bits of paper into my hands, surprised at the sheer number of them. I feel touched by the effort. How long had she been trying to wake me?

“You could have used the timer, you know,” I tell her, “That would’ve been way easier for you.”

“Oh.” She looks behind her at the visual timer on the back end of the desk that I gave her on day one in case she ever needed to get my attention from a different room. She’s never once used it. “I didn’t think about that. In my mind that’s just for emergencies… Plus it doesn’t sound like a pleasant thing to wake up to.”

Well, having the cutest, tiniest girl in the world working so hard to get my attention is certainly not the worst thing to wake up to. Especially when I’ve been so starved for her attention myself.

Staying low to the ground as I pick up stray paper, I crawl my way towards the trash can that’s right next to the desk. Once I’ve dumped my handful in, I straighten up to a kneeled position, so that Evie’s right at my eye level, and for a second I don’t even process what she says to me next, I’m too entranced by the sight of her.

Will I ever truly get used to this? She looks like some kind of animated figurine, like she shouldn’t be able to move and it’s a miracle that she does. As much as I was complimenting her about the amount of detail she was able to paint on the minis, that pales in comparison to the intricate detail that I’m looking at right now. That beautiful little face, her brown eyes shining with life, her tiny mouth shifting so fluidly to form words…

“Huh?” I say, shaking my head as I try to focus on her voice instead.

“See, that’s what I mean,” she says fretfully, “Are you sure you shouldn’t just call it and go to bed?”

“Oh… I’m okay. Tomorrow’s exam isn’t until afternoon. I actually feel pretty ready for it, so I’ll sleep in a little bit. This paper’s due today though, by midnight…” I try again to rub the sleep out of my eyes, pretending that the breath I’m taking is an invigorating one. “I’m getting there. The big thing now is just listing all the sources and stuff at the end.”

Evie tilts her head, concern still painted all over her face. “Is it bad for me to ask you to bring me over there? I don’t want to get in your way, but… it would be easier to help wake you up again if I was closer.”

Between her tone and her posture, she’s so self effacing in this moment that I feel a pang of guilt. I don’t mean to make her feel like she can’t talk to me because I’m so busy… even though that’s frustratingly close to the truth. Not that I don’t want to spend time with her. God no. This is just a brief amount of time where I have to put everything on pause. Even something as wonderful as whatever has been developing between the two of us. I’m well aware of just how distracting she can be, through no fault of her own.

I hate knowing that she must be having such a hard time these days, though. It was really bad timing that both Moira and I were so busy at the same time. And despite my best efforts, from some of the details that I’ve noticed, like the open packet of crackers and the charging cord I found on the floor, I’m sure I’m neglecting her even more than I realize. Since she hasn’t been advocating for herself, I have no idea the extent to which it’s a problem. With all the stress and sleep deprivation on my plate - I think I’ve gotten less than ten hours of sleep in the entire past three days - I can’t even think straight half the time.

I keep telling myself it’ll all get better by the end of this week. But right now I can’t help reaching out, quite literally. I place a hand just behind her, ready to pluck her up.

“Okay, yeah. Sure. Will you be okay with just your phone for entertainment?”

Evie says yes, so I take her in one hand and her phone in the other. She wraps her arms around my fingers as I pinch the sides of her torso from behind, and then I carefully shuffle back over to the ottoman while still on my knees.

Whenever I carry her like this, with nothing to support her legs, I’ve noticed that she tends to kick her feet a little once I lower her down again, in anticipation of reaching the floor. This time is no different - there she goes, bicycling her legs as I bring her closer and closer to the ottoman. I’m so entertained by it in the moment that I sort of… stop. Let her hover there as she continues to kick the air. After a couple of seconds she curiously looks up, takes in my amused expression, and then lets her legs dangle limply as she gives me a look.

“What, did you fall asleep again with your eyes open?” she quips.

"Sorry. You’re just too cute when you do that,” I say with a grin as I finally relent and put her down.

I notice her face goes a shade pinker as she turns to look away from me. I guess I’m not usually so vocal about how adorable I think she is. But I’m too deliriously tired to care.

I’ve set up her phone close enough to me that, once I go back to working on my laptop, she occasionally makes gentle contact with my arm. In moments of stillness she’ll lean her back against me, or reach behind her to stroke my skin with her hand. Presumably it’s just to help keep me awake, but I appreciate the caring touches all the same.

It really is helping me to stay alert. At this rate I should be done within the next hour or two. I’m so close to the end I can taste it… Hydrology paper due tonight… Geodata exam tomorrow afternoon… Biochem exam the next day… and then I’m done. I have work the entire following day but at least that’ll be Friday and I’ll have nothing I need to get done over the weekend…

We do run into one moment where I start nodding off again. I don’t even crumble towards the ottoman this time, my head’s apparently just hanging from my neck and the next thing I know, I’m jolted to consciousness by Evie who’s climbed up onto the laptop so that she can yank on my fingertips as she calls my name.

“Okay, good,” she says with a relieved smile as I come to, “I was going to start pulling arm hairs next. I guess you are a light sleeper after all.”

I return the smile and then rub at my face with a groan. “Thank you,” I say, “I’m so close to being done with this… but let me know if you want to get to bed, I don’t want to keep you up.”

My tiny friend hops back off the laptop and gives me a determined nod. “I’m staying right here.”

I hook my index finger around her head so I can rub the back of it appreciatively. I’m being particularly careful about touching her, seeing as I’m so out of it. But thankfully my hands are very accustomed to her presence, even if they’re a little out of practice during all of this studying hell.

“Thanks. This is helpful,” I tell her softly. “Would it be okay if we did this again tomorrow night? It’s Biochem so I’d love it if you could help quiz me.”

“Sure!” Evie says, and to my delight she’s fully leaning into my touch on her head, like a bird requesting scritches. “I can be your study buddy, one last time.”

That’s right… The only class we were ever in together is coming to a close. I didn’t really know her at all when she was still able to go to school, just admired her from afar. I wonder what would have happened if I’d said hi to her back then. Would everything else have played out the same? Could I have somehow helped her avoid this shrunken fate? But would it mean we’d be nowhere near as close as we are now?

“Last time for this class at least,” I confirm, “but who knows what the future holds!”

I want to keep chatting. This is part of why I’ve kinda been avoiding her during this critical time. I just never want to stop hanging out.

I yawn and wipe away the tired tears that are stinging in my eyes. I remember that I’d brought over my reading glasses, and I reach behind the laptop to where I’d left them so that I can slip them onto my face. My vision’s not bad enough that I regularly need corrective lenses, but when I’m this tired they do help a little.

“I’ve never noticed you wearing glasses before,” Evie says, taking a couple of steps back to get a better view of me.

“Yeah, these help with the eye strain. I guess I’ve been doing it more at night, in my room.”

“They look really good on you.”

I hope I’m imagining the speed at which blood rushes to my cheeks. “Why, thank you,” I say with a stuffy tone as I readjust my glasses with an over-exaggerated nerdiness. We both chuckle.

Come on, Aiden, I tell myself. Focus.

Another solid hour or so passes in forced silence. My increasingly clear approach to the finish line spurs me on, and I stay alert and determined the entire rest of the time. My small helper continues to prod me from time to time just to be sure, and every once in a while it’s in a way that gives me goosebumps. But I keep pushing forward. And then, about half an hour before midnight, I finally have uploaded my paper and can hit the “Submit” button.

I feel a massive weight lift off of me, and with amazing timing Evie has pulled music up on her phone, ringing out in a victorious fanfare as she celebrates right alongside me. I get caught in a fit of laughter from the way she runs and jumps around excitedly, and I almost feel inebriated right now, overcome with the relief of finishing one more class.

The music slows down, transitioning into a more whimsical, gently lilting melody. And yet as the tiny woman before me slows her own movements, breathing hard as she looks up at me with glee, my heartbeat jumps up a time signature instead. In a moment that surprises us both, I softly touch my finger to her shoulder and run it down along her arm until I reach her hand. It’s so tiny and delicate, her dainty fingers the length of strawberry seeds, and it’s just the slightest sensation on the pad of my much larger finger. Ever so cautiously, I lay my thumb on top, her hand disappearing in my grasp, though I can still feel it gripping me back.

I gently pull Evie forward, her first stumbling steps becoming more measured as she follows my lead. The music continues to weave its harmonies into the air and I follow the tempo, raising her arm above her head and carefully spinning it, making her twirl. Her giggle is even more melodic than the music is as we awkwardly find a way to dance.

Since the ottoman’s surface is soft, despite her staying light on her feet she almost falls over multiple times, and I either catch her or dip her backwards or she lands on her knees and poses as if she meant to do that. We’re both laughing the entire time. After a minute or so the music crescendos again into a less easygoing beat and we break apart as we try to catch our breath. All in all, it’s just a moment of silliness. But with the slightest touch of something more.

The last dozen days have been a challenge, for sure. And yet, seeing the effortless synergy that we’re still able to find… It makes me feel like we can get through anything together.

[Olo]

@littlest-lily I like how Evie functions as a walking, talking adrenal gland for Aiden.

[littlest-lily]

@Olo TRUTH. Every time his heart rate goes up it’s because of her lol

[Olo]

@littlest-lily Whenever I read about a handheld tiny flailing their legs, I think of the mechanical props on Land of the Giants that they used as stand-ins for handheld “Little People” being carried off by giants:

[littlest-lily]

@Olo Ha, I’ve never seen Land of the Giants, I apparently need to change that!