This topic is a little old, but the board seems quiet like folks have moved on to other place and I figure I might as well see who is still listening.
Dominant is a weird word. It can mean simply extroverted, it can mean “likes to lead when dancing,” and it can mean “ties you up until you say Rumpelstiltskin.”
I am a strong extrovert and would be even more so if I felt people would receive it well. If I could, I’d be Brian Blessed or John Rhys Davies. But I dial myself down all the time and I test to see what people are comfortable with and try to give them their own personalized volume level. I have to spend a lot of time being “quiet” around certain people. I bet they think I’m an introvert, just because I’ve noticed that’s the volume of me they prefer.
How does this work in fantasy? There is nothing that gives me pleasure more than giving fulfilling their fantasy. I happen to like M/f fantasy and other related stuff like flattening, but it is all about leaning into the play.
When I know what a person likes, I dial it in to that level and savor their experience. It doesn’t even have to be more than PG if that’s what makes them happy. (I do have limits, but mostly I don’t like actual pain in the script. Chewing a tiny woman to death? No, but chewing a woman who has been turned into chewing gum who experiences it as pleasure? Yes.)
If I dominate them that’s because that’s how loud they want it. I feel it through them. It takes requires being focused and attentive, but that’s the fun of it.
So, I suppose I’m the same everywhere because I’m different everywhere, depending on the person I’m with and what they want.