Sex Objects
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@tiny-ivy I remember wanting to be the monster (Dracula, King Kong or the wolfman) who got the girl in the story at least in my fantasies.
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Late to the topic, but it’s been something I’ve been thinking on as well as I get further along in my transition and as my tastes… metamorphosize lol. I think I have a unique perspective to bring in that regard, especially as the more I become myself, the “straighter” my orientation gets. (I put that in scare quotes because I still am absolutely queer as all fuck, including being primarily asexual and aromantic. That is, I don’t experience primary sexual attraction or desire to romance people. But I still experience “physical attraction”, which for me is most aligned with the desire to do kink and other physical activity, even if it’s not explicitly sexual/orgasmic in nature.)
Some of yall who’ve been following me for years have seen my struggles, and seen the lengths I went to explain away my dysphoria. For those unfamiliar with me, I went from SW to giant. In my personal life, the dominants I met were never dominant enough, or dominant in exactly the way I was looking for; I kept wanting to tell them what to do to me. Turns out I’m a shit sub and wanted to call the shots the whole time!
But even now, even as a straight-passing, cis-passing male in my day to day life, I am extremely comfortable with writing from the female sub POV, and I enjoy it. In my years trying to be a woman, I learned to enjoy parts of it, I learned the play the part I wanted to see in someone else, so when I write from a woman’s perspective, I don’t half-ass it, I throw my whole being into it all over again. I get into her mind, I don’t think “OK I’m a chick”, I think “OK, I’m a human”. The vast, vast majority of men don’t understand that because they’re fucking narcisstistic idiots. Except it’s worse, because they don’t even enjoy themselves! They don’t even insert their whole selves into the works they make, and enjoy all of who they are as men - they reduce the whole of their own humanity down to dick-n-ball, just enough to have the fully-rendered recipient to interact with.
As I start looking at straight porn more from the male perspective too, I’m super underwhelmed for this reason. I remember something an internet rando said once regarding futa porn and why it’s so popular, and it haunts me a little. They said that you could do stuff with futa you couldn’t do with straight porn. You could have intimacy, you could show the penis-haver’s pleasure. It wasn’t always about dick-in-hole and violence. The futa could have a face. It frustrates me to no end to see faceless dude-shaped thing after faceless dude-shaped thing in porn. Men, stop doing this to yourselves. Fucking enjoy yourself for once!
I try to avoid this at all costs, which is easy because I don’t get off on it. Everyone’s real person in everything in write, that’s always my #1 goal. If that means that what I write is chick-lit, that’s OK by me. It’s much more gratifying to write everyone as complicated people and women who are sometimes at odds with their male counterparts. As a character in one of my non-size short stories said about why he bothers to spend time pleasuring the sex workers he hired: “If I wanted to just stick my dick into something, I could make a fist. What I’m here for is sex.”
For real though, imagining myself as a giant makes me feel confident and attractive like I never was as a SW. Being small allowed me to hide. Being a GT feels transgressive, to be honest, because I’m on display, the subject of the gaze. Feeling sexy as opposed to just sexual as a man is a big source of shame and internalized homophobia. Even being clean and well-dressed is enough to make a man feel effeminate - or why did society need to come up with “metrosexual”? Like seriously, men, interrogate yourselves about why you’re uncomfortable with the things you are. Because I guarantee you, it’s not natural and it’s not how it’s always been.
http:/sizekink.com
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@kisupure said in Sex Objects:
It frustrates me to no end to see faceless dude-shaped thing after faceless dude-shaped thing in porn. Men, stop doing this to yourselves. Fucking enjoy yourself for once!
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@olo A lot of terfs would like to think I transitioned because I was a misogynist, but joke’s on them, men are PRO at self-loathing without even knowing it. Y’all have a major call of the void kink it’s time to talk about
http:/sizekink.com
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@kisupure Nobody has a lower opinion of men than so-called “Men’s Rights Advocates.” So narrow and desolate.
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@kisupure
shrug
There’s a reason it’s called toxic masculinity, after all. Men aren’t supposed to have ‘feelings’, only pride. Even now, the most common portrayal of a man in any kind of media is a tough guy who doesn’t cry or show weakness.I’ll note that, again on a personal level, I don’t actually enjoy the male body, so porn that actually shows more of a man actually turns me off, because while a woman feeling pleasure makes me feel pleased, a man… really doesn’t for me. At the same time, though, I’ve realized I’m pretty abnormal in my dislike of the masculine form, so it doesn’t disprove your point so much as prove my own weirdness.
And @tiny-ivy : your point about monsters is very valid. I can say from the opposite perspective, I enjoyed pretending I was a dragon capturing a princess as a kid long before I saw an ‘actual’ SW to help make that connection really click. Women weren’t small enough for my tastes, I must have realized on some level, so I made myself larger, instead.
Power is choice.
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@i-am-insane Well yeah, but simply admitting that it’s bad doesn’t exonerate anyone.
I’m curious, though, does that mean you are incapable of believing yourself to be attractive?
http:/sizekink.com
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@kisupure
Pretty much?Like… how do I put this, there’s two kinds of attractiveness, I guess. There’s the sexual kind, where some part of your brain says ‘I want to fuck that’, and then there’s the aesthetic kind, which is when you you admire that something is just… built right.
And when it comes to men, those two concept are always divorced to me. I can think, ‘Yeah, this person is a icon of a man’ or something, and the hormones just won’t go for me; at some fundamental level, just the masculine shape doesn’t work for me. So, yeah, if I woke up tomorrow and my trainwreck of a walking corpse suddenly looked good I’d… like, it sure. I might even want to preen about it a bit, but it’d more like someone bragging about their car rather than how hot they are.
Power is choice.
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@i-am-insane Interesting. That’s exactly how I used to feel about being a hot chick with crushing dysphoria.
http:/sizekink.com
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@kisupure
Huh. I think, on a fundamental level, I’m not really attached to my body as ‘my’ body, if that makes sense. I’ve got a bunch of medical shit happening to me since I was a kid, and it’s easy for me to think of my body as separate from me, and in general not much of it really.Power is choice.
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The incel movement feeds hetmale body self-loathing. “Women can’t be attracted to me! The only reason they would want to be with me is if I had money or power*!”
- Or if I were 100-feet tall…
@kisupure said in Sex Objects:
That’s exactly how I used to feel about being a hot chick with crushing dysphoria.
Face it, you were no Jeep Cherokee.
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@i-am-insane That makes a lot of sense. I feel like medical dysphoria is probably a super common thing. My partner felt similar when he was going through chemo and still struggles with it.
@Olo Nobody’s perfect
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This is something I’ve thought about before a lot, especially as a queer woman. I’ve gone back and forth between my desire to be much bigger and smaller and the related content I consumed, I think as my own self image has changed. GTS stuff used to be my focus because the thought of being massive was empowering. People wouldn’t question my capabilities.
But now I’ve found comfort in my size - I enjoy being small. In real life, it means when I show up a lot of guys in my field who are a foot taller than me and can’t keep up, I’m more impressive. I used to be annoyed by how often people called me ‘little’, ‘petite’, etc. but it makes me feel more proud of myself. And I guess that’s something I don’t see often in this realm of writing - at least on the kinkier side. Often if SW are strong, it’s to be broken, and as many have expressed, everyone is entitled to their own kinks and views on things - no shame for those who write that way. For me, it’d be nice to see more strong SW who are allowed to stay that way - feel confident in their size and maybe even empower the GT and not be seen as an object first. Maybe some day I’ll have the time and energy to write something for myself to enjoy. -
@tinyborrower I’d definitely want to read a story about someone who is made complete by getting to know a tiny woman.
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@i-am-insane said in Sex Objects:
@kisupure
shrug
There’s a reason it’s called toxic masculinity, after all. Men aren’t supposed to have ‘feelings’, only pride.Oh, dear. That phrase never should have escaped the sociology courses it was invented in.
Academic rant incoming…
Sorry if I am misinterpreting your post, but it sounds like you’re saying that masculinity is called toxic by that phrase.
Toxic masculinity is supposed to be a subset of masculinity. The phrase isn’t supposed to suggest that men are toxic. It’s about how men are a victim of the patriarchy, too, just in different ways than women.
Toxic masculinity is, indeed, the traits you’re taught by the patriarchy (including by traditional culture and traditional religions) that reduce you to nothing more than status, violence, and sex. “Boys will be boys.” “Boys don’t cry.” “Suck it up.” “Stop talking about your feelings, what are you, a girl?”
That bullshit. Locker room crap. Dehumanizing to all men.
It was described by sociologists as a thing that men can get past, for their own good, and for everybody’s good, because men more in touch with their feelings, and more confident about themselves as caregivers, would make themselves much happier, and, in theory also reduce the amount of destructive interactions they would have with each other and with women.It’s really sad that men’s rights activists nowadays are just scumbags who hate women. There was a brief moment in the '80s, around the time this phrase was invented, when men started a men’s liberation movement to try to teach each other to get over this harmful cultural programming. But then the internet came around and ruined that.
What would be an alternative masculinity? A positive masculinity? Great question. I’m sure you have ideas there.
There is a self-help group of men who focus on this a lot, called the Mankind Project. I have a friend who swears by it. There are also some mainstream authors like Michael Ian Black who explore this.
Wow, we get deep here, in the forum about science fiction fetishes.
