Out of their Element

[Olo]

@littlest-lily I was grinning the whole time I read this chapter. I’m still grinning.

I don’t know where to start; okay, yes I do: Are you planning to recount the initial conversation between Aiden and Moira? Gotta be the most fraught discussion ever.

From the moment Aiden made his introduction, I was thinking, “Kneel down, get on her level.” Then Moira did!

If I ever got Aiden alone, I’d ask him if he thought Moira would be someone he’d introduce to Evie under normal circumstances, or if he thought Moira was somehow a better friend candidate under Evie’s reduced circumstances.

Forgive my anime ignorance, but I imagine there are other tiny-girl stories out there besides Arrietty. It would be hilarious if Moira had thought more about this topic than the average anime fan.

I am now eagerly anticipating when Aiden and Evie watch Ratatouille together and they come to the scene where Linguini wordlessly suggests that Remy hide in his pants and Remy wordlessly declines.

I remain in awe of how well Aiden must have prepared Moira for this encounter, so I have to imagine that he must have warned her that she might get to hold Evie in her hand. I’m so proud of all three of these bozos.

Moira POV chapter?

[littlest-lily]

@Olo Awww I’m so happy you liked Moira’s introduction! Up until then I was very used to only ever writing one-on-one interactions, so adding a new character to the cast felt really out of my comfort zone (still kinda does lol). Much less adding in a female character who’s not the tiny one! The story’s still very much focused on Aiden and Evie, but it was exciting to change up the status quo.

I don’t recount their entire first conversation, but they do still discuss Evie. That’s one of the bonuses of having a friend character, it gives the main characters someone to talk to about their feelings!

Yes, he picked Moira on purpose, since she’s so kind hearted and unintimidating. But he still would have introduced them regardless of her size, she’s one of his good friends It entertains me that if that were the case, Moira would have been considered the tiny one haha.

Ah man, this is the downside to writing things out in advance, since I can’t take suggestions now! Haha I love to imagine they’re all watching the movie, Aiden thinks he’s safe because it’s a kid movie about an effing rat, then they get to that scene and the poor guy can’t help putting Evie in his pants. Meanwhile the girls don’t think much of it and are just laughing, maybe Moira’s giving him a sarcastic elbow jab, while he’s turning beet red and regretting everything

No Moira POV chapters planned at the moment, there’s sort of a long con reason I’m switching between the 2 leads. But I could tootally see myself writing an offshoot bonus chapter at some point and switch up the POV!

[littlest-lily]

Chapter 23
Aiden

I feel elated at how well this is going. This entire thing has had me in a weird state of anxiety mixed with giddiness. It almost feels like I’ve spent so much time dreaming, only to realize that none of this is a dream at all. One of my good friends is here with me, and she sees it too – she can see and touch and talk to the impossibly tiny girl I’ve been sharing so much of my time with. The opportunity to finally tell someone else about this has filled me with a relief that I wasn’t expecting.

Evie and Moira gaze at each other for a few seconds, to the point that I feel like I’m intruding. And then it’s the shrunken one who pipes up to encourage the next step. “Want to try actually lifting me up?”

Moira looks extremely hesitant, her eyebrows curving more and more with concern. “I feel like I’m going to knock you over.”

“You might,” Evie laughs, “It’s okay if you do. But I’ve gotten better at balancing.”

There’s further hesitation, and I’m about to suggest that maybe Evie should sit down for this first time, but before I can, it happens. Moira’s summoned her courage enough to slowly raise her hand upwards, letting it hover an inch or two in the air. The take off is smooth, hardly destabilizing the smaller girl at all, and even as she lifts her hand higher and away from the ottoman Evie stays on her feet. I feel like I should be taking notes.

It’s almost funny how much I can relate as I watch Moira cup her fingers around the precious cargo and reflexively clutch her second hand underneath the first for extra stability. Seeing her look so nervous and hesitant certainly helps me realize how far I’ve come.

“Um. Okay. Can I put you down now?” she mumbles and I notice how tightly clenched her shoulders are. She looks like she’s regretting pulling Evie so far away from a stable surface.

“I’ve got her,” I offer, and I extend my arm, touching my fingertips to the bottom of Mo’s hand, like docking a spacecraft to create a steady bridge. Our little space cadet takes it from there, stepping to the edge of one hand to hop onto the other. Once the transfer’s done I pull away again and Moira lets her arms drop down with relief.

“You did great,” Evie says, flashing a grin and double thumbs-up, and with my free hand I add a third, larger thumbs-up too, eliciting laughter from our guest. Still, we’ve thrown a lot her way with this initial meeting and I can tell we might be pushing her close to her limit.

“I’ll walk you out,” I say, slowly getting to my feet. Moira’s eyes are fixed on my hand that’s occupied, clearly on the verge of fretting about the casual way I’m moving around. Evie speaks up then, snapping her out of it.

“It was so nice to meet you!”

“Y-yeah, likewise!” Moira responds with a smile.

I drop Evie back off at the desk and we share a quiet grin, a secret moment of celebration over the success of this meetup. I’m overjoyed to see that she’s genuinely come around, and I’m feeling more hope than I have in a long time.

I follow Moira through the door to walk her out of the building - she knows the way so she doesn’t need me there, but I figure we might want a few minutes of privacy. As soon as I shut the door to the apartment her smile drops and she covers her face with her hands. I go stiff, pausing while still holding the door handle. I’d been so caught up in my own excitement that this reaction takes me off guard.

“I’m awake right now?” she whispers, “All of that really just happened?”

I relax a little. Right. Of course she’s still coming to terms with it all. “Afraid so…” I mutter and put a hand on her back. “I know, it’s a little overwhelming.”

I’d prepared Moira to the best of my abilities. I asked her to meet me for lunch yesterday and we found a private place to eat outside. Out of all my friends I figured she was the most likely to believe me, but I still wasn’t sure how she would react. I told her the story from the beginning, and she didn’t quite laugh but just seemed so confused, wondering what on earth I was getting at with my ridiculous tale. It wasn’t until I showed her a video of Evie on my phone that she became very serious. She had many questions that I answered as well as I could. But nothing could have fully prepared her for seeing the impossibility in person.

Taking a tremulous breath in, she slides her hands off her face and touches the arm I’m supporting her back with, absently giving it a thankful pat before she starts walking down the hallway.

“She looked so scared of me…” Moira whimpers, “Not that I blame her.”

“She was nervous,” I acquiesce, keeping pace with her shorter gait. “But I could tell she likes you, she was loosening up a lot by the end of it. She looked a thousand times more scared of me in the beginning, I promise.”

“I can’t believe this has been going on for so long. How are you holding up?”

“Me? I’m fine. I’ve liked having her around. And she’s been adjusting pretty well, all things considered.”

“Thank you for trusting me with this…” She looks up at me with such sincerity that I want to give her a big ol’ hug right then and there. “I promise I’ll keep it to myself. I want to help however I can.”

I walk in silence for a couple of paces before I quietly tell her, “Honestly, Mo, she just really needs a friend right now. Someone other than me.”

We’ve reached the door to the parking garage where she has her car waiting, and she turns to face me with a soft smile. “I’m more than happy to try. You said she has a phone, right? Give her my number, she can text me whenever she wants. Oh and Aiden…” Her expression shifts to a bit of a frown as she reaches up to give me a light, quick jab in the chest. “Watch it with the grabby hands?”

My mouth opens and closes a couple of times as I reel back for a second. Finally I stutter out, “I-I’m really careful, I swear!”

“I’m sure you are. But it’s more than that… Just make sure not to disrespect her autonomy, you know? I can only imagine how helpless someone might feel that small. Maybe it doesn’t help if you don’t give her the chance to move a couple of inches on her own.”

I can feel color flooding into my cheeks, and at first I think it’s just me getting defensive about Moira jumping to conclusions the second she gets invited to the party. But the longer I stand here the more I realize the heat I’m feeling in my face is stemming from shame. I think Evie and I are on the same page when it comes to this stuff. But the thought that I might be disrespecting her in any way makes me feel sick to my stomach. Any frustration around unsolicited advice quickly deflates within me like a balloon with a leak. It might actually be a good thing to have a third party’s perspective…

"Maybe you’re right,” I finally concede. “Maybe I’ve been getting too comfortable…”

She shrugs. “And maybe I’m wrong. Probably good to double check though, yeah?” I must still look conflicted because she adds with a more gentle tone, “You’re a good guy, Aiden. I’m sure you’re handling things fine. I wouldn’t have even known where to start… Let me know if either of you need anything, alright?”

“Will do. It was good to see you.”

“You too, man. I get why you’ve been so absent now, but still, I’ve missed hanging out.”

I have to bend down low to give her a hug while she stands on her tiptoes. We wish each other goodnight and then I head back to the apartment. When I step inside I notice that Evie’s laying backwards on her bed, holding her pillow over her face, and I might have been worried if her feet weren’t fluttering excitedly.

“Did we break you?” I laugh as I sit down beside her.

She drops the pillow to reveal her eager expression, upside down from my perspective. “I think I’m in love.”

You and me both, I say silently. It feels so wonderful to see her overflowing with joy like this.

“Well then, I’ll start planning the wedding," I quip, beaming. “Yup… there’s a reason I picked her to introduce you to. Everyone loves Moira."

“Dammit. That means I’ll have competition in winning her heart…”

She’s clearly kidding around, but seeing her elation is starting to make me feel just a little bit jealous. I can’t help but want to check…

“You might have a chance, you know," I say, dragging the joke out a bit more, "She’s single, and I’m not actually sure she’s fully straight.”

Evie lets out a theatrical sigh, resting the back of her hand against her forehead. “Tragically, though, I am. I guess I’ll have to settle for friendship."

My stomach does a flip. We’ve never delved into past relationships or anything like that, so it’s not until now that I’ve gotten confirmation that she’s into men. Good to know. Whether she’s into men fifty times her own size is an entirely different matter.

“You didn’t tell me just how much we had in common," Evie says, getting into a seated position on her bed.

“I didn’t want to tell you everything, you’d have nothing to talk about," I counter.

“Fair.” She lets out a more subtle and natural sigh this time, a sweet smile at the ready. “I’m so glad you convinced me to do this.”

“Yeah… Me too.”

There’s a wistful part of me that’s mourning the fact that she’s no longer my little secret that I get to keep just for myself. I mean, her happiness is absolutely worth it, and I hope this is a step in the right direction. But in a way, I’m also going to miss it just being me and her all the time.

I reach out towards her to… I don’t even know, touch her arm or something, make some kind of contact. But I interrupt myself, suddenly feeling self conscious, and my hand halts its journey halfway across the desk. I think about the talk I just had in the parking garage and retract my arm.

“Does it bother you?” I ask quietly, “When I pick you up and stuff without asking first?”

Evie frowns. “Is this about what Moira said with the manhandling?”

I don’t pretend to hide it. “Yes. The more I think about it, the more I’m worrying that I’m not doing a good job at like… making sure you still have agency, I guess.”

I expect her to minimize the issue, to just casually wave me off and tell me it’s fine like she always does. I’m already preparing to insist and really make sure she’s not hiding her true feelings from me. But then…

“I like it.”

My next word dies in my throat, leaving emptiness in its wake. I just stare.

Evie starts fidgeting with the bedsheets and tries to clarify, “Not you removing my agency, but… I don’t know, I just don’t see it that way.” She pulls her legs towards her chest as she leans back, in a slightly precarious balance. “We’re in a really weird situation and are having to write the rules as we go. Who knows if we’re doing it right. But I know I’m fine with how we are. Honestly, when you hold me, I just feel… safe.”

My heart is thumping hard. The weight of what she’s saying is enough to pin me to the chair. Am I imagining the look in her eyes right now? The insinuation in her voice? Surely I’m not just hallucinating the blush on her cheeks or the way she’s biting her lip?

I almost cave. Almost say something I shouldn’t. Or maybe I should. But instead I just say, “Oh… All good, then.”

Conflicted, my hand retraces its journey across the desk, this time slinking around Evie’s bed and hovering just behind her back - she really does look like she might topple backwards if she loses her balance. She smiles and leans back further, gently trust-falling against my fingers.

With a lighter tone, she says, “Don’t tell Moira I have a girl crush, I was just being silly. I don’t want her to think I’m weird.”

I tip her back onto the bed, letting my fingertips linger against her shoulders. I’m not sure I can match her buoyant tone, but I try, and I hope my smile makes up for it. "Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.”

[Olo]

@littlest-lily said:

Out of all my friends I figured she was the most likely to believe me

Of course this had to be the chief criterion. Aiden is smarter than me.

There’s a wistful part of me that’s mourning the fact that she’s no longer my little secret that I get to keep just for myself.

Oof, that’s gonna leave a mark.

I almost cave. Almost say something I shouldn’t. Or maybe I should. But instead I just say, “Oh… All good, then.”

I know this is an unprecedented crazy situation, Aiden, but the correct response is, “I like holding you, too.”

It’s a three-way race to see who will first call Aiden on his feelings for Evie, and honestly I have no idea who will win (or who I want to win).

[littlest-lily]

@Olo He’s so worried about causing undue pressure with a confession that he’s missing any opportunity that comes up!

[littlest-lily]

Chapter 24
Evie

“How aboouut…. what’s your favorite dessert? I think for me it’s tiramisu.”

That’s a good question. I ponder for a minute before typing out a response:

“I don’t know if I can pick! Probably something basic, like a really good brownie or chocolate chip cookie. Ok ok here’s one. I’m super into board games - which one’s your favorite?”

I hit send and step back as I glance up at the rest of our texts with satisfaction. It’s so strange seeing the many messages labeled “Evie Ondine” alongside all those marked “Moira Wynne.” I haven’t had a long text chat with a friend like this in a while. I’m still a pretty slow typer, but I’ve gotten way better at using the phone over time and I’m doing well at keeping up with this conversation.

It’s been another cleaning day so we’re back down on the floor for a change of pace. Aiden’s laying on his stomach next to me, in deep concentration as he works on some lesson plans for his TA job. I scamper back over to what I’ve been occupying myself with outside of chatting with Moira - I’ve got my textbook from my Construction Technology class and am doing my own studying. Well, it’s less of a book and more of a laminated spiral journal. This actually makes it easier for me to turn the pages since they’re so stiff - I’m able to lift a plastic sheet on the outside edge and push it over my head as I make my way towards the spiral binding.

Sometimes I’m not sure why I even bother studying anymore. The end of the semester is quickly approaching and I have no idea if or when I’ll ever be able to go back to school. But thinking about that means thinking about the long term, which I’ve been refusing to do. At least studying keeps me occupied.

Still… I get bored of it so quickly. I perk up excitedly every time I hear the buzz from my phone that lets me know Moira’s responded, giving me a quick distraction.

“I’m not sure if it counts but I really like Pictionary. I’m probably biased since I like to draw :p"

Before I get a chance to respond, another text soon comes in.

“FYI the first students for the night are starting to trickle in so I need to put my phone away. Have a good night!”

I hurry to text her a “Good night!” back and sigh in disappointment. So much for that distraction. I look up at Aiden, his massive form hulking just beside me. He’s been at it for a while, maybe a short break wouldn’t be so bad…

His laptop lies next to him and he occasionally refers to it as he works. I make my way to it, hopping onto the edge of the keyboard and padding my way along while avoiding stepping on the keys. I’m about to call out to him, but that’s when he turns back to the computer again. He reaches a hand to the trackpad with his eyes fixed on the screen, until he suddenly notices me standing on the laptop. He breathes in sharply through his nose and yanks his arm back, obviously startled, and I wave my hands at him apologetically.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”

“All good,” he says with a growing smirk and then repositions himself so that he’s laying on his side, propping his head up with one hand. “You getting tired of studying?”

I look off to the side sheepishly. “So?”

“I can put you back on the desk if you want access to your stuff.”

“No, I don’t mind being down here, I like the change of scenery…”

He frowns sympathetically. “Sorry, I wish it wasn’t raining or I’d have taken you outside today.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” I insist, now very much feeling like a bother. “I wanted to ask - do you have any board games here? Moira and I were just talking about them, I do miss playing.”

"Yeah, I’ve got a couple, all stuff from when I was younger… I think I have a checkers set, Ticket to Ride, Battleship… maybe Clue?”

“Think we could do a game night sometime?” I ask hopefully. “I could probably at least play Battleship.”

He nods and leans in a little closer. “Totally! I bet you could play all of them, we should give it a shot. Uhhh maybe not tonight though, I really have to get this done. Sometime this weekend sound good?”

“Absolutely! Okay I’ll leave you alone now.”

“Okay… even though I don’t waaaant you to,” he whines, letting his head sink onto his lesson plans on the floor.

This lifts my spirits a little bit, knowing he’d rather be spending time with me instead. I jump back off the computer and edge a little closer to his face. “You can do it! You’ve already gotten so much accomplished today, you’re almost done!” I raise an arm up to him, offering him a high-five. “You got this!”

As I’m cheering him on he tilts his head to watch my approach, giving me an appreciative smile. He slides a hand over to me to touch his index finger to my outstretched palm. “Go team,” he says weakly. Not needing to be as careful as him, I give his fingertip an enthusiastic slap before I finally leave and give him his space.

I make a halfhearted attempt to go back to my textbook, but after a few minutes I still feel so restless… I decide to wander the apartment instead. I actually haven’t done much of this since it’s rare that I’m on the floor. I’m still pretty intimidated by the wide open spaces in this canyon-like room, and I’m finding myself drawn to the structures within it. I first walk the perimeter of the ottoman, which looms above me like a mansion within a stadium. Soon I find myself between the ottoman and the couch and notice that I would be able to fit underneath either one of them with ease… I’d be really good at playing hide and seek right now.

As I wander along the edge of the couch, something on the floor ahead of me catches my attention. I quicken my pace curiously and realize it’s a stain of some kind. I crouch down to carefully touch it, and it’s a little sticky. Figuring out that it’s a few drops of tomato sauce, I’m confused at first. We hardly ever eat on the couch, does this stain predate me being here? And then I remember that we did have dinner here once, that night a few weeks ago when we got Greek takeout. This is totally from that green bean dish.

Maybe it’s the fact that I feel partly responsible, but I want to clean this up. I rack my brain as I make my way to the end of the couch, determined to figure this out on my own. What kind of cleaning supplies could I use at this size?

Far ahead of me is the kitchen island, and I know that if I walk along the leftmost wall, Aiden’s room is just around the corner. Could he have anything in there that would work? Then again, I feel a little awkward just waltzing into his bedroom like that. I’ve hardly been in there outside of day one when he gave me a tour of the place. Across from his bedroom and next to the kitchen is his bathroom… Maybe there’s something there I could use.

I reach the edge of the wall and I’ll need to cross some open space to get to my destination. I look around as if I’m at a traffic light and about to cross the freeway. Aiden’s still in the same spot, back to being very concentrated. I make a run for it, dashing across the floor until it becomes tile. I huddle against the doorway for a moment, tilting my neck back to get the lay of the land.

To my right is one enormous blank wall, like a cream-colored cliff. On the left is where all the structures are, and I stroll past the looming cabinets, almost disappointed with how tidy it is in here. Soon I’m coming up to the enormous toilet, and just past that is where I catch sight of something that I think will do. There’s a toilet paper holder, and at the bottom of the tower I have easy access to the heavy white rolls.

I hurry over to the hay bale-like cylinders and find the seam. The way it tears is a little messy since I can’t reach the top of the roll, but I manage to acquire one large square of paper, which I fold up to make it easier to carry.

I continue looking around, turning hopefully to the shower-bath combo that’s just past the toilet. There doesn’t seem to be any soap or water that I can access, though. Maybe I can still make a difference with dry paper… but let’s go on one last journey first.

As eager as a traveler who’s just received a new quest, I exit the bathroom and line the wall to my left so that I can make the trek down the length of the kitchen island. Actually, it’s more of a peninsula since it’s attached to the wall, meaning I have quite the obstacle to circumvent if I want to make it into the kitchen proper.

On my walk I look towards the giant in the living room, who’s appearing quite statue-like from here. I wonder if he’s even noticed that I’ve been wandering around. If he stood up, surely he’d still be able to hear me down here, right? I don’t linger too much on this line of thinking, figuring that as long as I don’t just hang out in open spaces I should be just fine.

After a couple of minutes I’ve finally made it into the kitchen itself, and I’m starting to get a crick in my neck from having to look so far up all the time. The height of all these constructs is dizzying. This area is also pretty tidy, and the cupboard under the sink that houses the cleaning supplies is unfortunately closed. But then I spot something and run over to it excitedly.

There’s a chunk of ice on the floor, already half melted, just by the fridge. I doubt Aiden even noticed that it fell down here, but to me it’s like unexpected treasure I’ve found on my adventure. The piece of ice that’s intact is pretty sizeable, as big as a beach ball, and I hoist it up with some difficulty out of its puddle. It’s painfully cold to the touch, and I remind myself that I really do need to make myself some gloves.

I drop the ice off onto the toilet paper sheet I’ve been carrying and wrap it up in a double layer. Then I hoist it onto my back like it’s a knapsack and begin the journey all the way back to the couch.

By the time I get there my back is cold and wet, the ice chunk melting quickly against the heat of my body. I waste no time in utilizing the moistened paper, rubbing away fervently at the tomato stain in little circles. Some soap would have made this a lot easier, but a bit of extra elbow grease seems to slowly be doing the trick.

After a good fifteen minutes or so I’m almost finished with my little cleaning project, when I hear and see Aiden moving in the distance, although the view is mostly blocked by the ottoman. He sits up and stretches his arms over his head before rolling his stiff neck and shoulders. From the back I see his head turn to one side and then the other.

“Evie? Where’d you go?”

“Behind you!” I yell, and when he turns his head not quite far enough I add, “By the couch!”

He follows the sound of my voice, pivoting to peer over the structure that separates us. He spots me and smiles, settling his arms onto the ottoman as he regards me with amusement.

“What are you up to?” he asks.

I hold up the toilet paper to show him the orange stain on it. “You missed a spot.”

Aiden laughs and lowers his head down to rest his chin on his arms. He then says something that takes me by surprise. “That is so sweet.”

I balk with mock outrage, thinking he’s poking fun at me. “What did you just call me?” I exclaim, dropping the paper and putting my hands on my hips.

But he’s not quite going along with the joke, instead softening his gaze and the tone of his voice. “I’m saying that I appreciate the help. You really could just coast by and let me take care of everything, I wouldn’t blame you. But you keep wanting to pitch in whatever way you can. It’s really sweet and I don’t take it for granted.”

There’s a fluttering in my stomach and I struggle to look him in the eye. His earnestness is too much for me right now. Seriously, since when did he start making me blush all the time? My flippant response feels dissonant as I go back to scrubbing at the stain.

“I mean, no one likes a lazy roommate… and I sure don’t want to get kicked out.”

A crease appears between Aiden’s eyebrows. He looks like he’s about to say something and then stops himself, face smoothing out again. He opts to match my lighthearted tone instead.

“Well with you around, this place is going to be extra clean, that’s for sure.”

“Uh huh. Not a speck of dirt on my watch.” I sit back up, wiping the back of my arm on my forehead as I admire my handiwork. It’s not much of an accomplishment, but I do feel rather proud of myself.

That is, until I realize I can’t fully clean up. I’m still holding a wet wad of toilet paper, and I have zero ideas around how to dispose of it by myself. I stare at this one last hindrance as I hold it, a pang of frustration making my shoulders droop.

Aiden seems to pick up on what’s bothering me, and he casually reaches off to the side, close to where the desk is. There’s a small wicker trash can there, currently empty, and he gives it a little shove while still looking my way. It teeters before toppling onto its side, a wide tunnel crashing to the floor.

“Oops,” my giant friend says with a smile, “Clumsy me.”

I’ll take the silliness over nothing. I drag the wet wad the short distance to the trash can and hurl it inside. Aiden quickly rights it again as if nothing had happened.

“Look at that. All on your own.”

I wrinkle my nose at him, and I wonder if I should actually be annoyed with the slightly condescending gesture. But his clearly caring intention wins me over. I’ll count this chore as a success.

[Olo]

@littlest-lily Aiden could clearly benefit from taking a class or two (probably online) about caring for disabled people. They emphasize that preserving dignity applies to the caregiver, as well. People can tell when someone is walking on eggshells around them, and they generally don’t like it.

[Olo]

@littlest-lily Evie probably shouldn’t investigate stains on the bedroom floor.

[littlest-lily]

@Olo An excellent idea! Too bad Aiden doesn’t have you as a buddy to give him pointers. Then again, if these two had it all completely figured out already, where’s the fun in that?

[Olo]

@littlest-lily To be fair, I’ve been thinking about this for a lot longer than they have.

[littlest-lily]

Chapter 25
Evie

I wince and groan as I twist in on myself. My eyelids are sealed shut and my head is swimming. This feels familiar. Like I’m back at the bottom of the ocean… Back when powerful drugs were pumping into my system, immobilizing every muscle…

Hovering above me is a face, demonic and sinister. I can smell latex as a blue hand approaches me, a single finger pinning me down with ease and with pleasure. I can’t move. I can’t even scream. There’s nothing I can do about the titan’s touch sliding along my body… slipping between my legs… his eyes alight with flames in the darkness…

“Mmmmrrughh,” I utter miserably, and as I hear the sound break the air it’s enough to shatter the seal on my eyelids and they suddenly flutter open. There really is a massive finger on me, but the face that’s hovering above is far less threatening.

“Hey…” Aiden says softly, his hand retreating once he sees that my eyes are open. “Nightmare?”

I’m still waking up and don’t answer him right away. My breath is coming in shallow, I feel nauseous, and I’m really confused. On a typical day, even if I happen to still be sleeping when my giant friend gets up in the morning, at his size no amount of sneaking around is going to keep him from waking me up. The distant footsteps alone are usually enough to rouse me, much less any shuffling while getting ready. He’s never been able to walk right up to the desk without me noticing before. It’s very disorienting.

“Yeah,” I finally respond, and I push myself up to sitting. “Yeah, that sucked.”

My voice is a little hoarse and Aiden takes notice. “I’ll go get you water?”

I thank him and have a few moments to myself as he makes a quick trip to the kitchen. I rub at my eyes and slap at my cheeks. It’s been a minute since I’ve had to deal with some of those memories. I feel resentment towards my own brain. Why torture me with images of the past?

The fresh water helps, and thankfully the nausea begins to ebb after a few sips. I’m still very uneasy, though, feeling shadows clinging to me like haunting ghosts. Instead of sitting at the chair the way he normally does, Aiden’s on his knees next to the desk so that he can keep his head level with me, clearly worrying over the state of his little roommate. Normally I’d be reassuring him that nothing’s wrong, but I don’t quite have it in me right now.

“I was dreaming about that day,” I quietly lament, staring into the dish of water from my seated position on the desk. “Some of it’s a bit of a blur. But some of it’s still so vivid in my mind.”

“Like it just happened…” Aiden murmurs, and I look up at him. He’s got an empathetically pained look on his face. If anyone’s going to understand what I’m feeling right now it’s him.

I reach an arm out to him, and for a moment he looks hesitant at the lack of clear direction but silently takes a stab at it anyway, and as usual we’re in sync. He places his hand palm up next to me and I slide my arms around his pinkie like it’s an oversized teddy bear, leaning my chin on the tip of the finger. I hold him snug against my chest and we both stare off into space as we silently reminisce on that awful event.

"I know I don’t really talk about it,” he finally says, gaze still unfocused, “but I honestly haven’t gotten over the fact that I took someone’s life that day.”

My chest tightens. That sentence feels too close for comfort. I squeeze him harder against me. “It was an accident,” I counter.

The shake of his head would be hardly perceptible if his face wasn’t two stories tall. “That doesn’t change the reality of it.”

Aiden hadn’t told me right away, but I did eventually find out about the horrible things Dr. Little had done to those other women. The things that could very well have happened to me. I feel a surge of energy just then, fierce and protective. I’m suddenly on my feet.

“He was a monster, Aiden,” I insist, firmly. “As far as I see it, you didn’t take a life that day. You saved one.”

His face isn’t usually this close - I don’t have to tilt my head back at all to meet his gaze right now. His eyes zero in on me, pupils dilating, and for a moment I’m overtaken by the beauty of them, the sunburst of light brown over the crystalline green of his irises. And I marvel at the size of them, humbled by the way they’re entirely focused on something as small and insignificant as me.

He looks a bit taken aback by my outburst, but then the corner of his mouth pulls up into a crooked smile. I’m still holding onto his pinkie and he slips it up a little higher, carefully touching my jaw.

“Thanks, Eve,” he mutters, coining a nickname on the spot. “Sorry, I wasn’t trying to turn the spotlight onto me. Just know you’re not alone. We might have a long journey ahead to get over this shit, but I’ll be there to support you every step of the way.”

Trying not to cry, I give his finger one last squeeze before releasing it. My previous burst of energy has actually lifted my mood somewhat, and the bite of the nightmare’s teeth loosens its grip on me. At least enough to pretend I’m totally fine now, and so I manage a warm smile. “Thank you, I’m feeling way better.”

“Okay, good,” Aiden says, pulling back so that he can slowly rise to his feet. “Because I doubt you’ve seen the texts yet, but you’re scheduled for a Moira visit this morning.”

“Really?” I feel a jolt of nerves and excitement.

“Yup. I got a copy made of the key to the apartment, so that she can come over and see you when I’m not around. She’s coming to pick it up this morning and asked if she could hang out for a bit before she goes to work. I hope it’s okay that I said yes?”

“Yes! And wow, uh, I didn’t realize you had done that with the key… you sure?”

“Yeah, it’s all good. Mo’s one of my best friends, I don’t mind. Okay, I do want to have time to make breakfast before class so I’ll go get ready now.”

I aim all of my gratitude at his receding back. He’s such a kind person. He’s done so much for me from day one. And even now he’s still trying so hard to make sure I’m happy… God, I don’t deserve him.

We both wash up and get dressed in our own corners of the apartment, and then Aiden brings me to the kitchen with him so that I can help cut up some chives while he makes eggs. Actually, cutting isn’t quite the right word - I use a sharpened toothpick to stab a hole in the thick green herb and then use my hands to tear off the pieces from there. I won’t even get through a single stalk, and it’s more of a garnish than a true ingredient, but it still helps me feel like I’m earning my keep.

We’re almost done cooking when there’s a knock at the door, and I’m so unaccustomed to the sound that I jump about a foot in the air. Aiden claps a hand to his mouth to keep from openly laughing at my reaction, until I make it okay by cracking up myself, the both of us still giggling as he goes to answer the door.

“Heyyy,” Moira sings as she steps inside. Her hair isn’t braided this time but she still has an adorable green ribbon in it, the loose curls half tied back. She gives the taller giant a quick side hug as she adds, “It smells really good in here.”

“Hope you came hungry, 'cause I made way too much for the two of us,” Aiden responds as he closes the door.

“Sure, I could eat.”

She glances into the kitchen, and when I give her a little wave I manage to catch her attention. She looks surprised at seeing me there before catching herself, smiling and waving back. “Hi, Evie. I didn’t realize just how involved you were with the cooking.”

“I’m not that involved,” I say, my hands fidgeting self-consciously with my toothpick tool. It’s been a few days since she and I met, and we’ve been texting back and forth ever since, but I still feel a bit shy now that she’s here in person again.

“Nonsense,” Aiden tells me as he walks back up to the stove, “Those chives are going to make all the difference.”

He reaches for the herbs, a silent question mark hanging in the air as he touches the edge of the dish. I answer with a nod, pushing the bowl towards him to confirm that I’m done with them.

“I’m going to plate this up and then I’ve gotta run. Moira, you want to try bringing Evie over to that desk?”

“Um, okay,” she responds, and I see a hint of nerves creep into her expression. She steps up to the counter and this time she opts to bring both hands down to me, already cupping them in preparation. “If that’s okay with you.”

“Totally,” I say, hopping up onto her fingers and sitting down in the middle of her offering. “It’ll be a good exercise. You’ve got this!”

She’s a bit less hesitant than the first time she picked me up, though still very slow and stiff compared to the hands that I’m used to. She also doesn’t wrap her fingers around my body the way Aiden usually does, so I’m actually glad she’s being extra careful since I don’t have any clear handholds.

By the time Moira makes it across the room with me, the other giant is on her heels, a burrito wrapped in foil in one hand and one on a plate in the other. My miniature dish sits on the edge of the plate, the portion looking more like an open-faced quesadilla since I’m guessing it’s not quite possible to wrap such a small amount of egg in a burrito.

“You ladies enjoy,” Aiden says brightly, “I’ll see you after school, Evie.”

“Wait, don’t forget!” I shout up at him, pointing to our mailbox, where an origami panda sits expectantly. He snatches it up with a grin and then turns to head out.

“Key’s on the counter, Moira,” he calls back before disappearing out the door.

I fidget anxiously as I take in the fact that this is the first time I’m with anyone else without Aiden here as my anchor. I’m probably not the only one who’s nervous as neither one of us touches the food right away. But then Moira turns to me with a casual enough smile, one eyebrow arching with curiosity.

“What did you just give him?” she asks, nodding towards the now empty paper box.

“Oh,” I say, feeling embarrassed, “We write notes back and forth, like penpals. When I have extra time I’ve been folding them up into origami just for fun. I know, it’s silly since we already see each other every day…”

Moira giggles, “Aww, that’s a fun idea. You two are so cute.”

I feel the air leaving my lungs unexpectedly. Yeah, I guess it is kinda… cute…

I shift forward restlessly, picking up my tiny plate off of the giant one, and I bring it to my own miniature table to give my friend some room.

“So what’s your work schedule like?” I ask, tearing off a piece of tortilla.

She seems to remember her own burrito and picks it up. “Weeell, sometimes I go in during the day, like today, to do prep stuff. But evenings are when most of the classes are. Convenient, right? I actually look forward to having a friend who’s not so busy during the day!”

We chat while we eat, just a simple discussion about the details of her job, but we’re quickly falling back into an ease and a rhythm. Once we’re done with breakfast, Moira gets a kick out of the mini fridge when I go yank on the string of the door so I can put my leftovers away. She’s curious about some of the rest of the setup that I have on the desk, and I end up giving her a little tour of my living space, from the hot plate that heats up my bath to the first aid kit with bandages pre-cut for any emergencies.

“So many things I wouldn’t have even thought of…” she muses, leaning in to get a closer look at the carved splinters I use for sewing needles.

“It… took some adjusting…” I say awkwardly.

Even though we’d quickly stopped pretending there wasn’t something different about me, we still haven’t quite acknowledged just how screwed up my situation is. I think Moira’s been trying to give me space. But in this moment it’s like she’s tentatively reaching out to me.

“Aiden told me what happened,” she murmurs, “but if you ever need to talk through something, I’m happy to listen, okay?”

I almost can’t deal with just how nice everyone’s being to me today. I hate the idea of burdening Moira with my sob story. We’ve only just started bonding, I’m already worried that she’s only even hanging out with me just because Aiden asked her to or because she feels bad for me. I want to build a good impression of myself, not have a pity party.

But the nightmare from this morning nips at my heels, not letting me forget the loose grip it still has on my mind. Before I can even register what I’m doing, the words fall out of my mouth.

“It was for school,” I mutter, and seeing Moira lean in to hear me leads to my voice gaining strength. “It was just a stupid thing I’d signed up for… for class…”

I don’t know if it’s because she’s more removed from the situation, or maybe it’s the fact that she’s a girl, but there’s something about her presence that unlocks a new door in me. Words begin pouring out, and I don’t think I’d be able to contain them if I tried. I tell her everything, from the moment I entered that godforsaken lab, to the experience of my size getting ripped away from me, to the terror I felt at Dr. Little’s mercy, to the death and the fire and the running and the thinking that there was no way I would be surviving the day.

At no point am I interrupted, and I’m reciting everything as if from far away, gazing out towards the edge of the desk with unfocused eyes. It’s both cathartic to let it all out but also doesn’t feel real, as if I’d lived it through someone else’s body. I talk until I’m drained of all thought. Then I finally look up at Moira and startle at the sight of her big green eyes shining and her face covered in tears.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, fighting back sobs, “I’m just so sorry this happened to you, Evie…”

She’s got one hand up in a fist pressed against her mouth, but the other one is still lying on the desk. I walk straight to it, kneeling beside her and laying my hand on hers. I’m taken aback and so deeply touched by how this girl I hardly know is actually crying for me. And now it’s not words that are flowing out of me but tears of my own, as if summoned by Moira’s empathy.

“B-but then Aiden took me home,” I say, trying to finish the story with a smile despite my crying, “He brought me here. He’s been taking such good care of me, the both of you have been so kind. I’ll be okay.”

“Yes…” Moira says shakily, wiping tears away as she tries to smile too. She lays her thumb on my grip, gently holding my hand. “You will be okay.”

I laugh, overcome with a strange giddiness as I try to get a hold of myself. “This probably wasn’t the chill girl bonding time you were hoping for."

“It’s fine, I’m the one who started it with the waterworks,” she says, finding the tissue box on the desk to finish wiping off her face, first tearing off a corner for me. “Th-thank you for sharing that with me.”

“Thank you. That… really helped,” I answer. This emotional catharsis of telling someone about my struggles and receiving support in return is virtually unprecedented for me, at least not in a very long time. I’m shocked by its effect. I feel the dream from this morning finally releasing its grip on me after Aiden and Moira’s one-two punch, unleashing me from its jaws and slinking back into the darkness.

[Olo]

Looks like Aiden chose well.

@littlest-lily said in:

By the time Moira makes it across the room with me, the other giant is on her heels

Adorably, I initially misread that second clause as “my other giant.”

[littlest-lily]

@Olo HA, you 100% predicted the fact that she does eventually get to the point of occasionally calling him that!

[littlest-lily]

Chapter 26
Aiden

The car door slamming shut echoes in the parking garage, masking my grunt as I hoist up multiple grocery bags all up and down my arms. I always try to bring everything in one trip if I can. As I approach the door to get into the apartment building proper, though, I’m starting to regret my decision.

But then the door swings open right as I reach it, and I have a frazzled exchange with the person on the other side as we quickly pull away from each other. “Whoa–” “Sorry!” “Oh, hey!” The awkward flurry ends in us smiling in recognition.

“Need any help with that?” Moira asks as she holds the door open for me.

“Nah, I’ve got it," I respond as I step into the hallway.

We begin chatting, the conversation gradually lengthening until Mo steps inside to let the door close. I set the groceries down as well so that we’re unburdened as we catch up for the next ten or so minutes.

“Yeah, I’ll just be glad when finals are done,” I sigh, lamenting about my workload.

“I’ll bet. And I should be back from my trip around then, the three of us should do something to celebrate the start of summer! A picnic or something.”

“Sure, that sounds great.” I smile appreciatively at how quickly Moira has started including Evie into this little sub-friend-group. She’s been great at keeping things secret, too - none of our mutual friends seem any the wiser.

“How is she today?” I ask, “I was in a bit of a rush this morning.”

“She seemed good! We just lazed around and watched a bunch of funny videos on her phone.”

I smile and almost say something but then hesitate. I start fidgeting, debating whether or not this will be an inappropriate thing to ask… But maybe it wouldn’t hurt to pry just a little bit… “Has she told you anything that, uh, you think I should know about?”

“Huh?” Moira narrows her eyes. “What am I, your spy?”

“Something like that?” I say with a nervous laugh. “No, it’s just, um… It’s hard to explain. I do feel like Evie and I are close. She seems comfortable talking to me for the most part. But she’s always struggled a bit with like… asking for help, or asking for stuff. I’m usually the one asking her what kinds of things she might need from the store. She’s gotten better compared to the beginning, but she still always seems so hesitant about it, no matter how much I tell her she’s not bothering me.”

Mo listens quietly, without judgment, and then ends up nodding in agreement. “I’ve gotten a sense of that too. I brought a couple of things I hoped might help with her crafting projects today and she seemed really embarrassed about accepting them…”

“Right!” I say, relieved to feel like I’m not crazy, “Okay, cool, you get it. It just feels like she holds back a lot, on certain things.”

“Have you tried talking to her about it?”

“We did, a while ago… She said she didn’t want to burden me, I tried to convince her it’s not a burden, and I thought we came to an agreement? I don’t know, sometimes she’s hard to read, and I worry to come off too strong. I hope I’m not doing anything wrong. Sometimes I overthink things… But maybe sometimes I underthink them…”

“Well…” Moira says evenly, “From what I’ve gleaned, she seems to genuinely like you. So don’t worry too much, okay?”

But I begin to feel anxious as I know I’m probably starting to blush. Now I’m desperately wondering what they’ve been saying about me.

“The only thing I can possibly think of right now…” Mo continues, deep in thought. “I think she likes blackberries? Sounded like she has good memories associated but hasn’t had any in a long time, just based off a conversation we had today. It’s not much, but it’s something?”

I light up at this little scrap of intel. “Yeah, that’s super easy to buy. Thanks, Moira.”

“This doesn’t mean I’m spying on her for you,” she says with her arms crossed and a teasing smile.

“I know, I know!” I laugh, putting my hands up disarmingly. “I don’t want to break girl code or whatever. I just care about my friend is all.”

We say our goodbyes and part ways. Despite the heavy bags, I’m feeling lighter as I make my way to the apartment.

I call out a greeting when I step inside, and then I stop at the kitchen counter to unload the groceries. A moment later, once I’ve put the freezer items away, I look over towards the desk, eyes scanning the surface of the table, but from this distance at least I don’t see any signs of Evie. She could be in the bathroom, of course, but still, I can’t help feeling a tad nervous. I pause in my tidying up to get a bit closer.

A few steps later, I startle at her little voice calling out, “Any luck finding the curry?”

With the sound as a guide, my eyes dart over and finally see where she’s at. I wasn’t expecting to find her on top of the bathroom. She’s apparently dragged over her mini table and chair as a boost to get onto the white plastic box I made that contains her bath. My breath grows more shallow as I mentally measure the distance between her and the desk’s surface.

“What are you doing up there?” I ask, taking another step forward and completely ignoring her question.

She glances up with a bit of surprise from my tone but answers casually enough. “I’ve never cleaned here before… Some of the dust was starting to fall through the vent.” Sure enough, she’s on hands and knees with a piece of damp tissue, and it looks like she’s wiped off the bulk of the roof. The plastic strips she’s kneeling on bend slightly whenever she moves. I just glued those together to make that box, it hardly seems secure.

I take another tentative step. “I could have done that for you…,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady and not make sudden movements.

“It’s no big deal, it wasn’t that dirty. I did most of it this morning, just wanted to finish up.” She shifts as she talks and gets so close to the edge of the miniature building.

“Please be careful, Evie,” I beg, resisting the urge to pick her up right then and there.

She looks up again and finally takes in just how tense I am, her expression shifting to a concern - not for herself but for me. “What’s wrong? I’m only a few inches up, yeah?”

“B-but what is that, like, a ten foot drop for you?” It looks like it’d be enough to break her neck depending on how she landed.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to fall,” she says with a smile. “And I’m just about done.”

Still nervous, I watch her finish wiping off the dust on the corner of the box, and then as soon as she sits up again to admire the finished task, I reach a hand out and line it up next to her. “Can I at least help you get down?” I ask meekly.

Her brown eyes meet mine. I think I might actually be getting on her nerves. This is the kind of thing I don’t know how to handle - am I in the wrong here? I don’t mean to be treating her like she’s incapable, but… damnit, shouldn’t safety be our number one concern? I’ve heard of people injuring their backs while putting up Christmas lights on one-story houses. How is this any different?

Evie doesn’t voice annoyance. In fact, the expressions continue dancing across her face and suddenly she’s starting to look strangely fearful instead. Is she seeing the risk now too? I have no idea. There’s a tension in the air as she finally says, “Yeah, sure. Thanks.”

She climbs onto my palm stiffly, and I slowly start to lower my hand down, when out of a desperate desire to lighten the mood I suddenly alter course, sweeping her towards me instead.

“Psych,” I say, forcing a playful attitude as I bring her up higher now and curl my fingers around her. “You fell right for my trap. Now I can force you to help me with dinner.”

To my immense relief, she just laughs and leans back theatrically. “Oh no, the horrooor!”

“Off to the kitchen with you!” I declare, turning around as I give her my best evil laugh. Whew. It was tenuous but I think I somehow managed to save that awkward situation.

Evie actually looks very eager to help out when I get back to the counter with her. I stay mindful of where she’s at as I continue putting things away, and she ventures into one of the plastic bags, creating little rustling sounds as she looks around. She finds the sprig of fresh thyme that I bought and struggles to drag it out, reminding me of an excited dog who found a stick that’s way too big for it.

Now on a mission, the tiny girl runs over to where we store her mini kitchen supplies and returns pushing a shallow dish to her work space. Then she settles into a seat and begins picking off the little leaves of thyme for tonight’s dinner, creating a growing pile in the small dish. That’s one thing that she’s really good at with her reduced size - thoroughly de-stemming herbs.

I come across a bottle as I unpack and finally remember to answer her earlier question. “Oh, right, so they didn’t have yellow curry, but I hope red curry is still okay?”

I hold it up for her approval, and she gives me a gracious nod. “Yeah, that should still work fine. Maybe a little bit more of a kick. Do you like spicy food?”

“I love spicy food,” I say, reaching up to put the curry paste away in the cupboard.

“Me too!” she chirps, her cheerful tone quickly thawing any lingering anxiety until I feel like I’m glowing with pleasure. I really love that we’re still able to discover new things about each other all the time.

We drift into a contented silence for a couple of minutes as we tend to our own tasks. That’s how we spend a decent amount of our time these days, actually. Staying near each other but doing our own thing in comfortable quiet, until one of us pipes up with a thought. Speaking of which…

“Do you think,” Evie says with a layer of hesitation over her voice, “that you could keep an eye out for blackberries next time? I don’t think they’re in season, but just in case…”

This makes me freeze in place, as stunned as if from an electric shock. Damn. Never would I have expected for her to bring that up on her own.

“Yeah!” I finally say enthusiastically, halting everything else that I’m doing so that I can put all of my attention on her. “That’s no problem at all!”

She grins, trying to repress laughter as she asks, “Are you a fan of them too? You look like I just suggested we go to Disneyland.”

I decide to be honest. “I’m just so happy that you actually asked me to buy something you like! You never do that.”

“Oh. Um, yeah…” Evie bites at her lip and starts messing with her hair, twirling a strand around her finger. “I guess that’s true… I just wish I could contribute more, financially at least. And it’s just what I’m used to… The last time I had a roommate, she was very adamant about who owned what. Even my mom would nickel and dime me on stuff, the only one who didn’t…” She suddenly stops her little monologue, as if recoiling into herself, and then shakes her head. “Anyway. I know this is different, I… I’m trying.”

Ugh, I wish I didn’t have to be so careful sometimes. I’m so relieved and proud of her that I just want to wrap her up in a full-sized hug. Instead I bend a little lower and settle my hand in a curve behind her, bending my fingers around to gently touch her arm. She smiles but it’s feeble, I can tell that she still looks uncomfortable and didn’t share quite as much as she could have. I don’t push it, instead trying to encourage her self-advocacy by making this experience a good one. I attempt to bring up those good memories Moira had mentioned.

“So do you just like the berries on their own?” I ask, “Or did you have a favorite recipe in mind?”

Evie’s smile strengthens and I have to suppress a sigh as she adorably leans her head against my nearby fingers. “I do like them as a snack. But you’re right, my favorite thing to make with them is cobbler. It’s not, like, real cobbler, just the easy cake mix version. But it was actually one of the first desserts I’d ever made myself. I was so proud when I figured it out and it turned out so delicious! I think it was particularly good since that was the day I got lost in a parking garage, if you remember that story. Have I mentioned I hate being underground? Anyway, having that kind of success afterwards just made it all the better…”

I go to crouch then as I maintain contact with my hand, just so that I can be more at her eye level as we chat. Dinner can wait a few minutes. This kind of bonding is priceless. Turns out I didn’t even need a spy after all.

[miss-lillipants]

@littlest-lily her hesitancy to ask for things, including help, resonates sooooo much on a personal level. Love it, empathy is at 1000%, but damn girl know your limits! ️