Does anyone feel this way about F/m

[The Big G]

@Olo saw this had to share

[blehb]

Porn is just inherently objectifying. F/m or M/f, a lot of the content is made with the intention of entertaining a kink with varying degrees of depth. For me personally, I enjoy anything from shameless smut to complex stories. I’m sure F/m people feel the same way. It is what it is and there’s no harm as long as you’re aware it’s all fantasy and it doesn’t affect how you act towards others.

And it’s totally okay for you to be uncomfortable with F/m content - it’s not something you’re into. I also get uncomfortable reading some of it, even if the author is extremely talented or only has the best intentions. It’s simply not a part of my sexuality, and I expect that a lot of F/m fans would feel uncomfortable reading some of the stories I enjoy. And that’s okay! Everyone has limits and you don’t need an explanation or reason why you don’t like something.

[miss-lillipants]

@Olo said:

The chief problem with “objectification” (in any context) is that it removes other people, erasing their personalities and needs and wants, and treating them as mere props in one’s own narrative.

I will add that we have to consider the broader socio-cultural context in which content is produced and consumed. For me, when I am surrounded everyday by systems, discourses, perspectives, etc that dehumanises me in real life, things in fantasy become just another thing that I’d rather not engage with - especially when fantasy is meant to be my escape from it all. I think there’s a larger discussion here beyond objectification and into autonomy that buginacage talks about in a recent critical essay.

But - as Olo pointed out - it’s often attitudes that are more off-putting than the content itself (there’s a whole conversation about separating the art from the artist, which I’m not going to go into). Frustratingly, it’s when something is being defended as something supposed to make me feel “empowered”, when it’s clearly just blatant wank bank currency for people not like me. I accept that people will like what they like, for whatever reason that may be (like me with studly giants squeezing a woman between their pecs or smothering her lovingly with his massive balls), but don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining.

[Olo]

@miss-lillipants said:

I will add that we have to consider the broader socio-cultural context in which content is produced and consumed.

The OP was singling out F/m for the particular harms it can cause. The (straight) male gaze problem is present in all media and genres, and M/f is no exception.

[miss-lillipants]

@Olo said:

The OP was singling out F/m for the particular harms it can cause. The (straight) male gaze problem is present in all media and genres, and M/f is no exception.

I get that, and F/m is what I was referring to, even if I use the term “content” quite generally. I was giving context as to why I also feel objectified when I read/look at F/m content.

[protect-tinies]

@TakoAlice8 On one level, I can relate, because I strongly dislike F/m content (actually, I strongly dislike “tiny male” content in general). It does make me feel uncomfortable and kind of grossed out, but I also realize that there’s nothing inherently wrong with other people liking it…just because I don’t like something doesn’t mean it shouldn’t exist.

I’m not bothered so much by “objectification”, per se, because I believe it’s impossible to be sexually attracted to another person without “objectifying” them in some way. Lots of people act as if only men can objectify others and only women can be objectified, but there’s absolutely zero evidence to support that idea. Both genders do it, and both genders are on the receiving end of it. I don’t think so-called “objectification” is automatically bad or dehumanizing, because it’s possible to see someone as BOTH an object of sexual desire AND as a human being at the same time. Objectification doesn’t become a problem unless you see someone ONLY as a sexual object and not as a person too. The desire to have sex with someone doesn’t imply that you don’t see them as a person.

(Lots of women have asked their husbands in exasperation: “Why do you want to have sex with me when I’m not in the mood? Do you see me as nothing but a sex object?” But a husband could reply to that by saying “Why do you want me to listen to you vent about your problems for three hours when I’m not in the mood? Do you see me as nothing but a listening object?” Or “Why do you want me to pay bills and be a provider when I’m not in the mood? Do you see me as nothing but a financial object?” It’s all a matter of perspective.)

So I don’t worry so much about the objectification component. But it does bother me how the women in F/m content tend to behave in ways that NO actual human would EVER behave. Either they’re nymphomaniacs who think about nothing but sex at all times or they’re psychopathic sadists with an unquenchable lust for blood and the humiliation or degradation of others. That does turn me off and give me “the ick.” I don’t understand why any man would find that attractive in a woman or want to fantasize about it.

[Technomage]

You cannot be an object of desire without being an object, and the bigger someone is, it’s going to reflect the desire of the other more blatantly.

[BigGrumpy]

I don’t think their is anything wrong with objectification.
(although i do have a rule about not including real people in my fantasies) everyone even normies will sexually objectify people in their fantasies. As long as you don’t objectify real people it’s fine.

However to answer your question
The dominance of F/f, F/m, and intersex/futa/f have kind of pushed me out of the fetish as of late

[TakoAlice8]

@Olo Oh now that I see it, I wasn’t upset with people in F/m being “Objectified”. I was upset with how hegemonic F/m is again. I suppose because I am ace I feel uncomfortable with “Objectification” in fetish media and so I have a hard time understanding how it could not make someone uncomfortable. I also tend to be overly empathetic towards fictional people so that was also probably why I got uncomfortable.

I am still trying to figure out what kind of size media I like. It turns out I am my brain is not as tolerant size media with sexual undertones as I thought.

Alright keep being kinky.

[i am insane]

@TakoAlice8
Weirdly ace yet fetish-y crowd unite!

More seriously, I get the overly empathetic bit- whenever I try to come with ideas I like from stories I like, a lot of general story concepts I like have the big be… well. Kind of a dick? All of the bullying and threatening and killing and stuff.

And I like that, except I don’t want to do that to someone. Or, honestly, even watch that done to someone… even though I do? I only really want it in the fictional concept, but the second I try to picture me writing something like that there’s too much of me in the giant to do it.

Inside me there’s two giants fighting over how to deal with fetish material and the conflict is leaving my ability to make a story in shambles.

[TakoAlice8]

@i-am-insane said in Does anyone feel this way about F/m:

@TakoAlice8

More seriously, I get the overly empathetic bit- whenever I try to come with ideas I like from stories I like, a lot of general story concepts I like have the big be… well. Kind of a dick? All of the bullying and threatening and killing and stuff.

And I like that, except I don’t want to do that to someone. Or, honestly, even watch that done to someone… even though I do? I only really want it in the fictional concept, but the second I try to picture me writing something like that there’s too much of me in the giant to do it.

Inside me there’s two giants fighting over how to deal with fetish material and the conflict is leaving my ability to make a story in shambles.

I like M/f scenarios where the larger person makes fun of or teases the smaller person, not to bully but to provoke the tiny person. It just has that annoying older sibling dynamic. The larger person is being mean but they aren’t being abusive mean. It’s a lighter version of the bullying.

I also like it when the larger person tires to scare the smaller person by showing his teeth at her. It’s a lighter version of the killing to me.

[OptimisticSizes]

@TakoAlice8, if I may, I honestly am on both sides of the spectrum; I like to be both small and large. While I do understand this is about objectification, it is entirely a fictional stance.

For example, when I am shrunken I like to somewhat like this pet, with some little objectifications, but nothing too demeaning, like it the dirty talk sense, the giant or giantess, or both use me as well as care for me… like in the sense of they know I’m fragile. However, they still want to tease me in this mock-bully way.

As for being a giant, I see the tinies as pets, I also tease them, mess with them. When I do get rough with them during intimate acts, but not so much that it causes them severe pain. Their still shrunken people that are very fragile, I’m careful with them because I kinds don’t like being the cruel giant.

Howevet, I like other stuff that is not so related to shrinking and more of growing, but more of in the “giant in the city” sense, like I’m bigger than a city and I have my fun, but the thing is that’s just fiction, think of it as those break rooms, you just break shit without any repercussions, and when your giant and a major city is small, it’s like an addictive urge to just have fun. But they can’t happen in real life because yes you destroyed a city as well as pleased yourself, but you have to think about your morals, the fact that you blew off some steam but did a lot of bad things.

But yes, I see your point, and it’s not really kink-shaming, it’s just your taste. And it’s fiction, you think how you want to.

[TakoAlice8]

@OptimisticSizes I very glad I am not kink shaming because I am sex positive even though I am ace.

[OptimisticSizes]

@TakoAlice8 don’t worry, you’re fine :3