Why liking M/f is not misogynistic
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@SmolChlo Yeah I kinda hesitate in these spaces to mention that, yes I have had bad experiences on the GTS side… but I’ve also experienced plenty of misogyny/undue pressure with SW fans too
Unfortunately with any group of people you’re just going to run into that shit!But I do think this is a good reminder for folks, @TakoAlice8. I know there are some good people out there who worry that they’re a bad person simply for being into SW when that isn’t the case.
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To be honest it’s something I’ve struggled with in the past basically the best advice I got was if you question if it is or not your not misogynistic
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I’m going to confess I enjoy the overwhelming power part of the fantasy. The “giant’s” control and dominance. Maybe that’s because I hardly every had any control over my own life. Someone always making major decisions on my behalf. Never really being listened to. As a “giant” a character is the one commanding controlling in charge. They can do anything they want because the “tiny” can’t resist their intense power.
But none of that is what I want in real life. I don’t want to dominate. I have no interest in abusing or tormenting a weaker being with fear. I think people should all be treated with respect. No matter their race, religion, sex, sexual preference, etc. Everyone should be equals.
Now, as for my stories being misogynistic. Yeah, many are. Again its the “giant” male power fantasy. Dominate and use at your leisure. And its all imaginary. You want to know how I write my “giant” people. I write them as villains. Even the main character “giants”. I can’t think of any story I have posted anywhere that the “giant/giants” are not that way. Don’t see it? Ask, I can tell you how or what villainous thing I’m keeping in the edge of my mind when I’m writing a particular story. I do this because despite liking the fantasy of being a cruel “giant” I don’t understand how people can do such things in real life.
HH1
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It seems to me that the basic error here is assuming that one’s sexual desires somehow reflect on one’s social values, particularly if one has a hidden or obscure kink. “This must be what they really think!” The human mind is never so simple, and it is capable of containing multiple contradictory thoughts and feelings. I used to think my size kinks said something profound about me, but all they really say about me is that I’m very creative.
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@Olo you and the rest of the sizeists on here are very creative indeed
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@SmolChlo I agree, macro M/f is purely fantasy based and people should not try to insert social issues into macro M/f or try to relate it to them.
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@Olo
I mean… yeah. That is the assumption. That you like it, so you want it, deep down. The fact that you, say, want to keep a woman as a pet, wearing only a dog collar, is the kind of thing that naturally breeds suspicion in people. -
@i-am-insane To quote my own blog:
I am a full-on feminist. I espouse and practice affirmative and enthusiastic consent among real people. I support dignity, respect, and justice for all people everywhere. I abhor cruelty, dehumanization, and bullying, whether they are committed by individuals, institutions, nations, or faiths. I also sometimes get off to fantasies of shrinking, kidnapping, raping, and eating women (sometimes it’s the other way around).
If you find this difficult to comprehend, this might not be the blog for you. Or perhaps it is.
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@Olo
Honestly, I feel like I never quite got over the guilt complex the U.S. slaps on everything sexual, so I have both of those things warring for dominance in me whenever this kind of idea comes up, even if intellectually I… kinda know better? -
@i-am-insane Sex-related guilt is not confined to the U.S., but our Puritanism lends itself easily to sex-negativity both in faith-based guilt trips and in personal hangups. I was extremely sex-negative in my adolescence, and that had nothing to do with size fantasies (which I thought were unique to me and didn’t even rise to the level of “kink”). Everyone has to find their own path through this shit, and only you can release you.
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@Olo said:
It seems to me that the basic error here is assuming that one’s sexual desires somehow reflect on one’s social values, particularly if one has a hidden or obscure kink.
I consider myself lucky to have avoided experiencing this kind of shaming that appears pretty common from M/f and SW fans. It wasn’t until when I was older that I realised that the fantasy could be (mis)interpreted as misogynistic. There is undoubtedly misogynistic material and fans out there, but I don’t think the fantasy itself is inherently so (both sexual and non-sexual content).
I think people grossly misunderstand by essentialising it to “big = dominant, small = submissive” and conveniently omit other elements like agency (a character’s or the fan’s), subject portrayal, audience, perspectives, themes, etc. It’s the same with F/m and GTS which can also get confused: I also think it is not inherently misogynistic and you would think exemplifies a fantasy where women can feel empowered. In reality, that is overwhelmingly not the case within the fandom and its content (even mainstream content tends to leans towards the male gaze) - consider, e.g. the paradox of power.
@Nyx said:
It’s the epitome of misogyny to dictate what a woman should/shouldn’t like.
simply put. -
@Olo This is a good blog, exactly what I was trying to do to validate people on this site.
I know this is going to get off topic but are you a size switch? I want to know so I can know how to better respect you.
Just chillin down here.
Also I only feel comfortable with being tiny.
https://bsky.app/profile/takoalice800.bsky.social -
@TakoAlice8 I don’t mind answering this at all; in fact, thanks for asking.
It is my understanding that the term “switch” is used in Size discussions analogously to the way it is used in BDSM circles, where it means someone who is equally able to perform either the dom role or the sub role. I don’t engage in roleplay, but as a Size writer (including banter on Size forums) I enjoy “performing” equally as a Male Giant and as a Shrunken Man. In that sense I would say I am indeed a “size switch.”
However, I prefer to keep these two personae separate, Tol Olo and Smol Olo, if you will. I have no interest in performing as a character who can become both giant and tiny. Each persona has a Size orientation that is fixed and passionate. When I am on Daddy’s Dollhouse, I am always Tol Olo; if you forget that you’re going in my pocket (or my mouth).
Any hardy souls who have managed to slog through my interminable blog posts might remember that I have not always been equally comfortable in both roles. While my earliest memories of Size feelings were about having tiny women in my grasp or my mouth, once puberty hit I was all about becoming tiny myself and falling into a giant woman’s clutches. I violently repressed any and all shrunken woman fantasies as, if not misogynistic, at least regressive. It wasn’t until about nine years ago that I finally let myself embrace my SW fantasies. The main catalyst for this was years of observing and listening to female M/f fans share (and write and draw) what Size means to them.
Consequently, I’m committed to the notion that being exposed to different Size orientations and configurations than what one prefers expands and solidifies one’s understanding of what Size can be, leading to a deeper appreciation of one’s own preferences. I know for certain that it has made me a better Size writer, learning what pushes other people’s buttons.
I guess that’s why I’m proud to be a size switch.
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