Does anyone feel this way about F/m

[The Big G]

@TakoAlice8 speaking as a single straight man I’m happy to be objectified but honestly I’ve always seen giant and giantess less as people and more of forces of nature. Hence the shallowness of the evil after all a tidal wave can kill you and us bad but real evil requires intent to target the individual or group like the difference between stepping on a ant without notice vs stomping it. I feel all the time that treating a tiny woman like a toy or a snack is objectifying them even if there into it plus mental health is funny so the way I see things is different to how you perceive it hope I’m understanding what your saying while offering my take not trying to trivialise your feelings just trying to offer my post work day stream of consciousness

[TakoAlice8]

@The-Big-G This is a very good take. I appreciate it a lot.

[i am insane]

Broadly, I’m really tired of F/m being the dominant size concept. Really tired. There has to be more of us but by god does no one want to admit it, I guess.

More specifically, every time I try to dip my toes into F/m, it always seem to objectify the man, especially if it’s a broad shrinking thing. The women, meanwhile, are just casually living their lives.

Full honesty here, I know it’s a personal thing on my part because I love it when these things are applied to women, but well. I don’t want it to apply to me. Beyond that, probably because of how my brain is wired, small, powerless, objectified, whatever- that’s hot. Vulnerability is hot. But men aren’t hot, not to me, so every time I see it part of my brain just disengages from the attraction of the concept, even if the big woman herself is hot, because it’s trying to apply a sexy concept to something unsexy, like trying to be attracted to a rock.

shrug

I know my kinks. I’m not terribly proud of them, but I know them. And beyond in a broad ‘the woman in this picture is really sexy’ kind of way, F/m is never going to be one of them.

[Olo]

F/m has been my primary interest for most of my fetish “career.” Over the years I have observed with increasing dismay and disgust how petty and entitled the loudest segment of F/m enthusiasts became, arrogating to themselves ownership of “the Giantess fetish” and demanding everyone in Size spaces recognize their authority and conform to their prescriptions. There’s nothing about F/m that requires such obnoxious behavior and it’s embarrassing to be associated with it.

The chief problem with “objectification” (in any context) is that it removes other people, erasing their personalities and needs and wants, and treating them as mere props in one’s own narrative. A male F/m fan who has a simplistic and rigid view of how giantesses are supposed to behave is indeed engaging in objectification of women in his fantasy. The remedy is to compose a fantasy featuring complex and varied characters, both male and female, such that everyone has different reactions to the scenario and more readers/viewers can find room for themselves or at least for their desires.

A physical fetish like Size is naturally going to “objectify” elements such as body parts, sensations, and emotional effects. There’s nothing wrong with that. F/m should focus on giant female bodies just as much as M/f should focus on giant male bodies. That’s what we’re here for. As a straight dude who enjoys M/f, I want to see/read how tiny women feel in the presence of giant men. That’s objectification I actively desire.

I completely sympathize with anyone tired of how hegemonic F/m has become in Size spaces. You have nothing to apologize for when venting your feelings on this subject.

[The Big G]

@Olo saw this had to share

[blehb]

Porn is just inherently objectifying. F/m or M/f, a lot of the content is made with the intention of entertaining a kink with varying degrees of depth. For me personally, I enjoy anything from shameless smut to complex stories. I’m sure F/m people feel the same way. It is what it is and there’s no harm as long as you’re aware it’s all fantasy and it doesn’t affect how you act towards others.

And it’s totally okay for you to be uncomfortable with F/m content - it’s not something you’re into. I also get uncomfortable reading some of it, even if the author is extremely talented or only has the best intentions. It’s simply not a part of my sexuality, and I expect that a lot of F/m fans would feel uncomfortable reading some of the stories I enjoy. And that’s okay! Everyone has limits and you don’t need an explanation or reason why you don’t like something.

[miss-lillipants]

@Olo said:

The chief problem with “objectification” (in any context) is that it removes other people, erasing their personalities and needs and wants, and treating them as mere props in one’s own narrative.

I will add that we have to consider the broader socio-cultural context in which content is produced and consumed. For me, when I am surrounded everyday by systems, discourses, perspectives, etc that dehumanises me in real life, things in fantasy become just another thing that I’d rather not engage with - especially when fantasy is meant to be my escape from it all. I think there’s a larger discussion here beyond objectification and into autonomy that buginacage talks about in a recent critical essay.

But - as Olo pointed out - it’s often attitudes that are more off-putting than the content itself (there’s a whole conversation about separating the art from the artist, which I’m not going to go into). Frustratingly, it’s when something is being defended as something supposed to make me feel “empowered”, when it’s clearly just blatant wank bank currency for people not like me. I accept that people will like what they like, for whatever reason that may be (like me with studly giants squeezing a woman between their pecs or smothering her lovingly with his massive balls), but don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining.

[Olo]

@miss-lillipants said:

I will add that we have to consider the broader socio-cultural context in which content is produced and consumed.

The OP was singling out F/m for the particular harms it can cause. The (straight) male gaze problem is present in all media and genres, and M/f is no exception.

[miss-lillipants]

@Olo said:

The OP was singling out F/m for the particular harms it can cause. The (straight) male gaze problem is present in all media and genres, and M/f is no exception.

I get that, and F/m is what I was referring to, even if I use the term “content” quite generally. I was giving context as to why I also feel objectified when I read/look at F/m content.

[protect-tinies]

@TakoAlice8 On one level, I can relate, because I strongly dislike F/m content (actually, I strongly dislike “tiny male” content in general). It does make me feel uncomfortable and kind of grossed out, but I also realize that there’s nothing inherently wrong with other people liking it…just because I don’t like something doesn’t mean it shouldn’t exist.

I’m not bothered so much by “objectification”, per se, because I believe it’s impossible to be sexually attracted to another person without “objectifying” them in some way. Lots of people act as if only men can objectify others and only women can be objectified, but there’s absolutely zero evidence to support that idea. Both genders do it, and both genders are on the receiving end of it. I don’t think so-called “objectification” is automatically bad or dehumanizing, because it’s possible to see someone as BOTH an object of sexual desire AND as a human being at the same time. Objectification doesn’t become a problem unless you see someone ONLY as a sexual object and not as a person too. The desire to have sex with someone doesn’t imply that you don’t see them as a person.

(Lots of women have asked their husbands in exasperation: “Why do you want to have sex with me when I’m not in the mood? Do you see me as nothing but a sex object?” But a husband could reply to that by saying “Why do you want me to listen to you vent about your problems for three hours when I’m not in the mood? Do you see me as nothing but a listening object?” Or “Why do you want me to pay bills and be a provider when I’m not in the mood? Do you see me as nothing but a financial object?” It’s all a matter of perspective.)

So I don’t worry so much about the objectification component. But it does bother me how the women in F/m content tend to behave in ways that NO actual human would EVER behave. Either they’re nymphomaniacs who think about nothing but sex at all times or they’re psychopathic sadists with an unquenchable lust for blood and the humiliation or degradation of others. That does turn me off and give me “the ick.” I don’t understand why any man would find that attractive in a woman or want to fantasize about it.

[Technomage]

You cannot be an object of desire without being an object, and the bigger someone is, it’s going to reflect the desire of the other more blatantly.

[BigGrumpy]

I don’t think their is anything wrong with objectification.
(although i do have a rule about not including real people in my fantasies) everyone even normies will sexually objectify people in their fantasies. As long as you don’t objectify real people it’s fine.

However to answer your question
The dominance of F/f, F/m, and intersex/futa/f have kind of pushed me out of the fetish as of late

[TakoAlice8]

@Olo Oh now that I see it, I wasn’t upset with people in F/m being “Objectified”. I was upset with how hegemonic F/m is again. I suppose because I am ace I feel uncomfortable with “Objectification” in fetish media and so I have a hard time understanding how it could not make someone uncomfortable. I also tend to be overly empathetic towards fictional people so that was also probably why I got uncomfortable.

I am still trying to figure out what kind of size media I like. It turns out I am my brain is not as tolerant size media with sexual undertones as I thought.

Alright keep being kinky.

[i am insane]

@TakoAlice8
Weirdly ace yet fetish-y crowd unite!

More seriously, I get the overly empathetic bit- whenever I try to come with ideas I like from stories I like, a lot of general story concepts I like have the big be… well. Kind of a dick? All of the bullying and threatening and killing and stuff.

And I like that, except I don’t want to do that to someone. Or, honestly, even watch that done to someone… even though I do? I only really want it in the fictional concept, but the second I try to picture me writing something like that there’s too much of me in the giant to do it.

Inside me there’s two giants fighting over how to deal with fetish material and the conflict is leaving my ability to make a story in shambles.

[TakoAlice8]

@i-am-insane said in Does anyone feel this way about F/m:

@TakoAlice8

More seriously, I get the overly empathetic bit- whenever I try to come with ideas I like from stories I like, a lot of general story concepts I like have the big be… well. Kind of a dick? All of the bullying and threatening and killing and stuff.

And I like that, except I don’t want to do that to someone. Or, honestly, even watch that done to someone… even though I do? I only really want it in the fictional concept, but the second I try to picture me writing something like that there’s too much of me in the giant to do it.

Inside me there’s two giants fighting over how to deal with fetish material and the conflict is leaving my ability to make a story in shambles.

I like M/f scenarios where the larger person makes fun of or teases the smaller person, not to bully but to provoke the tiny person. It just has that annoying older sibling dynamic. The larger person is being mean but they aren’t being abusive mean. It’s a lighter version of the bullying.

I also like it when the larger person tires to scare the smaller person by showing his teeth at her. It’s a lighter version of the killing to me.